Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Have you stayed physically and mentally healthy into your fifties? How?

86 replies

CommeIlFaut · 23/05/2024 06:47

I’m late forties now so am starting to think about the next few years. I’ve seen friends, cousins and neighbours age into their fifties and the outcome in terms of their physical and mental health seems huge.

Two big worries for me are becoming an empty nester and keeping my confidence at work and to try new things. As well as staying slim and fit(ish). While I understand we can’t always control what goes on with our physical and mental health, I’d love to give myself the best possible chance of coming out the other side of my fifties (and into retirement) like the slim, sociable, active ladies I see at the gym.

If you have experienced a happy, healthy sixth decade what has helped? Diet? Exercise? HRT? Relationships? Hobbies? Career? Anything really!

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 23/05/2024 10:19

Yes I have. I had my second child at 42 and he keeps me on my toes. I've always exercised and looked after my skin so I look "well". I try and eat healthily as much as possible. Plenty of water. I did have breast cancer at 50 that was triggered by hormone medication (not HRT) so I can't have HRT but have managed well without it. I am very fit and plan to stay that way. Strength training is vital for bone strength so I do that too.

fizzandchips · 23/05/2024 12:16

I now walk with other similar aged women. We are all in our 50’s and needed to make healthier choices and have more social support. I now set my alarm and leave the house for a 5K walk every week day morning. Our adult children/uni kids/late teens no longer need us to get them out of bed - they might wish we did, but we don’t - and our mental and physical health have all improved significantly as a result and our families no longer rely on us before school/work so the added bonus is a much less stressful morning. Sometimes I really don’t want to get out of bed at 6.30am - especially in the dark - but I never regret that I have.

TheFormidableMrsC · 23/05/2024 12:36

@CommeIlFaut It might be worth looking outside the gym for a PT who suits your requirements. For example, we have a lady locally who specialises in post partum and menopause in terms of exercise and she's very popular. Have a look on your local FB page if you use it.

bookworm1982 · 23/05/2024 16:48

Churchview · 23/05/2024 09:54

I'm 60 this year and feel better than I have ever felt. I garden, swim in the sea, have quit alcohol, walk or cycle everywhere I can, I have weights at home and do a routine of lifting and stretching every day. I get plenty of rest and have lots of quiet/wet weather hobbies like cooking, sewing, crochet, reading, drawing and painting etc.

I grow and eat a lot of my own veg, keep busy by renovating my house and take a different course every year - art, language, hobby related.

My husband and friends are a source of joy for me. I think as you age you become less tolerant of other people who drain your energy. Perhaps your friends have always been like that and now you find it more noticeable.

Edited

Do you really feel better than you've ever felt in your life? That's lovely to hear Smile

Churchview · 23/05/2024 20:16

Thank you @bookworm1982 , I do and am so grateful for it. I listen to myself - mind and body more and definitely look after myself better than I ever have. Eating healthier, being more active and quitting alcohol changed my life - I feel 20 years younger and have lost 3 and a half stone.

My 50s were a real period of reflection for me and I dealt with a lot of issues and bad habits that had been with me all my life. I sort of burst a lot of bubbles that were weighing me down and holding me back.

As I've aged I'm more confident and relaxed, I don't let things bother me as like I used to. I don't worry about what others think of me. It's very freeing.

Also, having gone through the menopause the feeling of release from all the gripes, aches and pains now its over is a immense. I just appreciate all the tiny things much more now.

Obviously there are sadnesses - people I've lost, my dog died recently and that hurts like hell....but life is good and the sun still rises so I make the most of every day.

When I read on here that younger people worry about aging I want to hug them and say that your older years can be bloody wonderful and are nothing to fear.

CommeIlFaut · 24/05/2024 06:41

Thanks so much. These posts have been really helpful and hope others have found them so too.

I feel reassured that I’m doing lots of the things people say have worked for them.

The two things that really struck me are the importance of good relationships and strength training. Time to really nurture those friendships that nourish, and to get the weights out.

And not thinking of oneself as old. I’ve noticed a divide growing in my social group between those of us who think and act as if this stage of life is time to be slowing down and those of us who are still energetic, curious and trying new things. I know which one I’d rather be!

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 24/05/2024 08:36

Mr Monkey is early 50s and has not long run the fastest marathon of his running career (and he started distance running in his early 30s).

He has set himself the goal of completing all 6 of the World Major marathons by the tine he is 60. He's already done 3 of them.

Petrine · 24/05/2024 08:49

If you have experienced a happy, healthy sixth decade what has helped? Diet? Exercise? HRT? Relationships? Hobbies? Career? Anything really!’

I’m 69 and very fit, healthy and happy. I think your list above is absolutely spot on. Keep active both physically and mentally, stay a healthy weight, interact socially and be positive about the future.

Notellinganyone · 24/05/2024 08:58

57 here. Started taking HRT post menopause to help with night sweats and libido. I’m overweight but have no health issues but I think that’s just luck. Key things are that I love my job and it keeps me stimulated- I like the fact I can focus on it more now that DC have left home. Good marriage and no serious financial issues plus a solid pension means no big worries about future. Do need to lose weight though.

Jennywren2000 · 24/05/2024 08:59

My mum is 70 and has stayed slim and active. She is retired so plays tennis 3x a week, walks 12k steps a day and reads/socialises a lot. She’s very active & tends not to spend a lot of time sitting down- her job was active too which probably helped.

She also has a glass of wine every night, and still eats cake, chocolate etc but in fairly small amounts- I’d say her diet overall is very consistent & pretty healthy, eg salmon and salad for dinner, lots of veg, porridge every morning etc.

Jennywren2000 · 24/05/2024 09:02

Just to add, my mum also has a generally very positive attitude. She has had her fair share of difficulties, including the death of a child, but tries to find the positive in situations and stays upbeat in the face of small challenges. I have a different personality but try to emulate this.

Clogsandtulips · 24/05/2024 09:03

Also, having gone through the menopause the feeling of release from all the gripes, aches and pains now its over is a immense. I just appreciate all the tiny things much more now.
This is good to know. I am not in menopause yet and am trying to keep active but...the pain! Everything hurts so much, all the time. I havent managed to access HRT in the form I would like and I would really like to but it just does not seem to be available where I am unless you are actually in menopause. I have found my fifties really, really hard (pain, relationship problems, teenager problems, career stagnation, autoimmune diesease and depression so far....) but I am trying to fight back because the alternative is worse!

Tinyhattinycat · 24/05/2024 09:08

@Clogsandtulips sorry how do you know are are not in peri/menopause?

TitInATrance · 24/05/2024 09:13

Diet, sleep, exercise - hiking and swimming in my case. Continuing to work full time and adapting to changing work requirements. The children becoming more independent took a mental and physical load from me.

I had an unsatisfactory marriage for most of my 50s and no HRT but that’s no reason to get old if you aren’t ready.

Clogsandtulips · 24/05/2024 09:14

Tinyhattinycat · 24/05/2024 09:08

@Clogsandtulips sorry how do you know are are not in peri/menopause?

Edited

I know I am in perimenopause but I still have regular periods. I live abroad and they wont prescribe HRT until you have been period-free for a year.

SwingingPonytail · 24/05/2024 09:14

I think one of the best ideas @CommeIlFaut is not to get focused on age.

I was actually surprised that someone your age should be asking this!

You're still so YOUNG!

It wasn't even a thought that crossed my mind in my 40s.

What I did was retrain for something which means I am self employed. I can pick and choose how much I work.
I wrote 2 books (factual) and had them published.
I've carried on learning and using my brain.
I also walk (uphill) around 3 miles most days and do weights at home.

I'll be 70 next birthday.

I'm on HRT and have been for some time.

I am VERY fussy about my diet (did the ZOE assessment last year) and 99% of what I eat is home-cooked, low carb and my BMI is 19 (I'm small framed.) Usually eat 7-ish portions of fruit and veg a day.

My aim now is to try to retain and grow muscle so I don't become frail as I get older.

midgetastic · 24/05/2024 09:15

@Clogsandtulips

Menopause is identified by age first so unless you are post menopause you will be perimenopausal at over 50

And then HRT should not be denied especially when you have symptoms that are commonly experienced during menopause

If you can't see another doctor I would be minded to moan about hot flushes as it seems to be something most doctors do understand

HRT should not be denied to those who need it

midgetastic · 24/05/2024 09:16

Ah just read your update - not UK

Floofydawg · 24/05/2024 09:18

I'm a bit overweight but fit. Things that have kept me sane in my 50's:

HRT
Dropping to a 4 day week at work
My lovely fluffy boy (dog)
Supportive husband
Keeping in touch with daughter 2 hours away regularly
Swimming
Spin classes
Walking the dog
Not giving a shit any more about a lot of things that I can't change

TheCadoganArms · 24/05/2024 09:20

I am somewhat biased here as I love the sport but I find rowing absolutely brilliant for both my mental health and general fitness. It is a social sport, costs about the same as joining the local gym, keeps you aerobically fit, has a strength and conditioning component to it and for me personally lovely being out on the water surrounded by wildlife or in the sunshine. Different clubs gear themselves towards different levels of competition but if you can find a 'broad church' club who offer learn to row courses to all comers then I recommend it as a sport.

IWFH · 24/05/2024 09:25

In my early sixties. Overweight but reasonably healthy (not on any medication), in a fairly senior position at work and seem to be well respected (despite being the office 'old git' 🤣).
I think much is just attitude to life - happy marriage, I sing in choirs, have a sideline business, read loads, do puzzles everyday and quite often walk our NDN's dogs. Plenty to get on with without worrying about getting older.

Lovelyview · 24/05/2024 09:31

Exercise, good food, drink very little alcohol, work at keeping good friendships going and developing new ones. Volunteer for something that's important to you. Save for a medical fund. Stuff starts happening that you may need to pay £thousands to treat - dental, glasses, varicose veins, physiotherapy.

J0S · 24/05/2024 09:41

Im early 60s and glad to be in very good health.

I dont go to the gym / do weights but I have a physically active job ( I work FT ) and hobbies ( gardening and hill walking ). I believe that being outdoors helps with mental health.

I don't feel old - I have a lot of energy and don't have any of the aches and pains that I hear others talking about .

I did a lot of long distance running in my 50s but it was beginning to affect my back so I cut down.

I take HRT and I have eaten a very healthy diet for the last 20 years. I’ve never smoked, drunk a lot or been an unhealthy weight ( though im not skinny ).

I had my kids late so I still have one in school and one in college.

I had a long , unhappy marriage to a horrible man but Ive now divorced him. This has left me a bit insecure financially but I'm determined to live my best life.

RosesAndHellebores · 24/05/2024 10:03

Stay engaged.
I don't do any formal exercise and am post menopausal. HRT was a boon. I also have rank osteoporosis and am heavily medicated for it (two broken vertebrae, a broken foot and broken wrist in the last 8 years).

I do gentle pilates, have a full time professional and stressful role, two grown up children, husband and home. I'm out of the house at 7.30am and back at 7.30pm. Sit too much at a desk but nevertheless much to-img and fro-ing to the copier, kitchen and loo. I manage about 3000 steps despite driving to work. I regard the big shop once a week as a mini work out :)

Add into the above, cooking dinner, running up and down stairs with laundry and to put stuff away and there's a reasonable level of activity. And the garden of course - a minimum of three hours a week, weather prevailing, we have half an acre.

DD and BF are constantly in and out and whilst technically she still lives at home, is only here for about two nights a week.

A big family lunch once a month, usually friends once a month, and trips to the theatre, dinners, etc., keep one active and socially engaged. Church on Sundays and commitments around that. We have a home in France and I still happily drive 700 miles with an overnight stop although more often now fly to Barcelona and get the train. At least 3/4 times a year. We sail when there and walk in the mountains.

I am 64, pass for 57/8, on the outside and in my heart am still 25. My bones are shit but I don't let them beat me and thankfully have a bit of stiffness but no pain.

It's a state of mind, good food, moderate alcohol and admittedly there's more maintenance - hair, skin, etc.

My mother is 88 and until she was 87 could do the splits. Like her I shall never stoop to an elasticated waist, polyester top, fleece jacket (beyond the garden) or velcro shoes.

Next year I'll retire and am looking into Trustee positions, school governor, etc., will join a book club and have a very clean house and an immaculate garden. Hopefully grandchildren will come along too.

Bearpawk · 24/05/2024 10:07

I'm not 50 yet (40s) so I hope you don't mind me commenting. But my friends in their 50s are ones who commit to regular exercise - I.e a club or regular classes.

My mum is late 70s and a widow so lives alone and her exercise classes (4 per week) are a big part of her social activity and mental health. She'll often go for lunch or a drink afterwards with her class mates and she now goes on coach trips with some of her friends she met at her exercise classes.
She does yoga and functional fitness and it's helping her live an independent and capable life into old age, without a doubt