If you don't have the obvious option who do you give as your emergency contact?

[Confortableorwhat]

DH died. DC are only just adults, don't drive and although I expect they'd step up and do well if required, I don't really want them feeling responsible for me, my parents are elderly and infirm, my sister lives 100s of miles away....

I would put not applicable

But in an actual emergency wouldn't you need someone who could be contacted?

Your young adult children will do fine. It’s not that they have to do anything particular, certainly nothing that requires driving, it’s just who needs to know if anything happens to you. And they are the ones who do need to know.

Wouldn't you want your (young) adult DC to be notified first if you were in an accident

I've started putting 17yo DS. He can't drive but he would be close by and would contact my mum for help.

No, I'd hope they could be told by someone who loves them.

In that case your sister sounds like the best option- similar time zone, presumably, and able to communicate with them even if not able to be there in person.

Depends how elderly your mom is. I have mine and she is in her 80s but still drives, looks after the house and my dad, quite sharp.

As soon as my daughter is 18 I would think I would put her, tho.

I’ve lived on my own in a few foreign countries and before actually creating a local support network, I’ve always put my mum’s name and phone number as my emergency contact. She lives thousands of miles away, takes a few hours on the plane to get here. She also only has very basic English.

Thinking of it, I believe she’s still my emergency contact where I currently live and I’ve been here 5 years. I still wouldn’t want to burden someone local in the extremely unlikely event something happens.

Your DCs should be fine - or an adult relative who could be trusted to relay information to them immediately. It’s not so much about how quickly they can get there, but would they answer their phones and know what to do if something happened - even if those instructions had to be given on the phone while they make their way to you.

Just put the children, by husband can’t drive, he’s still my emergency contact.

My emergency contacts are my two best friends, at work, the kids schools etc, never been an issue

I’m sorry for the loss of your husband. Put your best friend, if you don’t want to put your DC. I live overseas so my emergency contact here is a reliable friend.

I put one of my cats and the landline number to avoid having to reveal that I have no next of kin.

Yes, this.

I don't have a next of kin, so just answer "not applicable" on forms etc. Never run into any issues.

What does driving have to do with it?

I would just put your kids

I used to put a friend, and he puts me, but glad I can now put DD. And she's a student nurse so potentially actually useful!

Sorry for your loss. I would nominate the eldest child (with their agreement obviously).

Well, emergency contact isn't just for deaths. I'm not sure what form you are filling out, but what if you passed out at work and needed to be taken to the hospital? What if you lost your passport while travelling and someone handed it in, and the emergency contact was called?

I think you are not giving your AC enough credit to act like responsible young adults.

I've always just put my geographically-closest close friend. If I need someone locally, they're a good choice. If family needs to be contacted they can contact them. It's often reciprocal (i.e. I am some friends' contact too)

When I was single, I used to put a good friend who lived down the road, on the basis that she (for instance) would be able to pop round to my house and check I was ok if I suddenly didn't show up for work or whatever.

When I was single I put a close long term friend. My friend often puts me as her husband has disabilities and her kids are small. She knows I would tell them immediately if anything happened while she was at work or away and could do the practical stuff

I always cross that section out or put N/A.

I'm in my 50s, I've never actually had to have an emergency contact be contacted. Only thing I can remotely think of was two times, 20 years apart, when I fainted, both times my husband was with me anyway and neither time I needed medical attention and even if I did I could have consented myself. I'd put N/A and not worry about it.