Hi all,
We very sadly had to put our beloved dog to sleep yesterday morning. I am utterly devastated and carry so much guilt around it - I know I would've beat myself up however things had unfolded and ultimately I know in my heart we did the kindest thing. I just can't believe he's gone.
This time last week he was absolutely fine, he vomited and had bloody diarrhea on Thursday morning. We thought a normal tummy bug and that perhaps he had inflammation from the diarrhea so left it that day to see if he would perk up a bit the next day. On the Friday he went to the vets as he had more bleeding who sent us home with lots of meds. We couldn't get these in him as he was off his food by this point and kept spitting tablets out. Saturday we went back and they hospitalised him, he was there until around midday on Sunday having IV fluids and painkillers, when they were happy for him to come home. We were to keep an eye and bring him back if any deterioration, but honestly I didn't really feel there was an improvement after having watched him for a couple of hours. By Monday evening I knew he had to be PTS. He was shaking in pain, panting and kept falling over when trying to stand, still had bloody diarrhea, wasn't eating. We made an appointment for the Tuesday morning. He was even worse, wouldn't drink, couldn't stand. The poor boy was so so weak. One of his legs has swollen to twice the size of the others. We took him and he passed peacefully, in all honesty I think he was utterly unbothered by anything at this point and more than likely already had one paw out of this world.
I don't know why I'm putting this here. I guess I'm just processing, but I'm utterly heartbroken, and absolutely devastated that he was in so much pain for those five days. Please don't come for me, I've already beaten myself up so much about what I could have/should have done differently.
I feel I will never be able to let him go. He was truly one of a kind and my heart is hurting so much.