Changing life entirely - advice

[hopesdreamsandfaceplants]

Long-time poster, NC. Sistine chapel etc.

Anyone by choice(-ish) completely changed career, moved location entirely and rebuilt their life in their mid-40s; would you do it again (if back in time), what advice do you have, what do you wish you had known or would you give?

Watching with interest

Me too

Me.

Previous situation - long term partner, not that happy, glaring issues - stressful London job - not earning enough, constant stress and work stress - asking myself, can I go on like this?

Current situation - moved to the country, smaller life, quieter life, less money worries although not able to go part time yet - much better social and love life, met new partner who is much nicer - love my job and colleagues - much prefer the smaller life, less stressful, more enjoyable - almost own house outright, its worth less and in better condition.

Wish I'd done it sooner.

What I learned -
'Just give it away' if there is too much stuff. Get rid, donate, give - thank GOD.
There is no 'there', it is all 'here' - in many ways life is the same here as it was there - I've still got to work, I've still got to find time to clean, shop, cook, exercise, take care of myself, especially as I get older.
Part time is not enough money at this stage, but the hours I used to do are too many. Middle ground is much better.
Don't need stuff, prefer downtime and good company now.
"Stop everything at 5pm' is really really nice - bath, read, cook, sit outside, go to the pub.
Smaller places to live are much more social I think.

Yes. I went from SAHM to working and studying full time, quit a drug addiction and put on 10kg in a year.

Make time to reflect, do voice notes, a diary, whatever works. You’ll change so rapidly you’ll need some records to help you gain a a sense of perspective.

Make time for yourself.

Dont beat yourself up or constantly question your choices. Some things go wrong, some things take a while to work out, it’s all part of the process.

You won’t look back for a second. Enjoy!

I moved cities too, forgot to mention that!

Walk everywhere.

Talk to strangers. Say hi how ya doing (or whatever your way is) to people you see regularly. Keep at it. Look up and smile. You’ll make so many new friends.

There was a big feature on this in Good Housekeeping, maybe last year. They interviewed 4 women who’d changed their lives in their 40s and 50s. They were all so much happier. I know that’s not a balanced piece but honestly, by the end of the article I was ready to turn my (generally lovely) life on its head.

DO IT!!!

@something2say I hear you on stress, it's just not worth it long-term, and having a less expensive home just takes away some of that stress. I also agree with the 'wherever you go there you are' principle. Did you find it easy to make friends in the country? Were there others who had done a similar city to country move?

@ItsVeryHyacinthBucket That's very impressive and a lot to pack into the space of a year. It sounds like you took on big challenges and made the most of opportunities and also made time to 'grow'. 👊 That balance is hard, it's something I definitely struggle with and am working on.

@DoingJustFine Thank you, I'll hunt that out if it's online.

I'm quite tired, toxic workplace, I don't live in the city or country...so it's dull and there is no nature. Maybe a coastal city, or a city with surrounding nature. Has to be affordable and an in-built social life.

As a minimum, I will change my job and I need to decide whether to move towards a new career. I am considering data science but I have no background in STEM whatsoever.

I do have a lot to be thankful for, but existing isn't enough for me.

Yes, I did. Left a professional career, returned to college, retrained in a field that had been a lifelong hobby/passion, downsized, moved from the city to a country town, started my own business.

I now live a very small, frugal life. Have a tiny house and have never been happier.

Yes, I would do it again and would probably have done it much earlier.

My advice would be to think exactly what makes you happy, not what you feel you should do/have. Follow that dream. Focus on the things that are important to you and not what society says you should focus on.

Aged 43, I left my long-term relationship, job, and house in a southern city to work in an different sector, and to live alone and off-grid (a long-held ambition) in a rural northern area.

Yes, I’d do it again; it did wonders for my self-esteem, my skills mix, my fitness and my stress levels. My advice would be to remember that most lifestyle changes can be changed again if they don’t work, so there’s no reason not to try things, but even knowing that, embrace the change as if it’s permanent - throw yourself into it wholeheartedly.

Hopesanddreams, yes I found it easy to make friends. There is work for a start, every day. Then there is my hobby, playing music. So I go to the local music venue. I started by doing the door, so became one of the staff sort of. Then I also play there I can go anytime after work and mix in.

I think, you are an adult now with an idea of what works and what doesn't. You can make this work. It's so exciting!