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Original poster

Would you be happy with this life?

56 replies

heatherboo · 22/05/2024 13:00

I don't know how to say any of this without coming across like I'm showing off so I'm sorry if it seems that way.

Me and DH are in our 30's with two beautiful DC (10 and 5) we inherited a house from my grandparents and are completely mortgage free. DH family helped in a complete renovation of the house. The house is an end of terrace built in the 80's.

Not having a mortgage allows me to work part time and gives us the freedom to go on big holidays and the luxury of not having to worry when an unexpected bill comes up or when grocery shopping.

We live in a small town up north so house costs are relativity low but with the increase in interest rates this wouldn't prevent first time buyers from having a high mortgage.

Down the road from us is what is considered the "posh" area of our town filled with beautiful detached houses. DH is always saying we can move into one of those one day. Obviously it would be lovely but to do so would result in us having a giant mortgage even if we sold this house for a large deposit. Our house is worth around £120k and a nice detached house around this area would be around £250,000. All houses are old so would most likely need some work doing to them.

My thoughts are us moving to a house like this would be nothing more than feeling better about ourselves and so that are children don't compare themselves to those that have giant gardens.

To explain our house, it lacks a driveway and a big garden but we do have two very large downstairs rooms, a large kitchen and 3 large bedrooms. We may have no garden but we have plenty of giant parks in this town and are always taking DC out. The street itself is filled with nice families so there's no trouble at all, I just can't help but think other people push themselves to upgrade even if it means a bigger mortgage and making sacrifices in life but what would you do personally if you were in my situation?

I earn £12k a year and DH earns around £40k ish after tax. We own one car outright which I drive and DH has a company car with fuel expenses paid. This leaves us with quite a bit of disposable income a month. Would you rather have this for freedom and holidays or stretch yourselves to live in a house that just looks nicer on the outside and your own parking space? We'd be talking a minimum £1k a month mortgage.

OP posts:
Original poster
heatherboo · 22/05/2024 13:02

Forgot to add we are also about to save each month for ourselves, DC and emergencies currently

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 22/05/2024 13:03

I'd stay where I was

Adipocere · 22/05/2024 13:04

no way, I would stay where you are

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General money
ShinyBandana · 22/05/2024 13:04

Stay where you are. Your life sounds great

usernamedifferent · 22/05/2024 13:04

It sounds like you’re happy where you are.

Personally I would say if you don’t mind the lack of parking and garden then there isn’t much to be gained by moving.

Being mortgage free and being able to enjoy life as well as save for any emergencies sounds like a great position to be in.

Apart from being detached and the garden etc, what else is ‘better’ about the other houses ?

chocolatecoveredpeanut · 22/05/2024 13:10

Don't lumber yourself with a mortgage and a bigger house. Your kids will be off to Uni and their own lives in 10/15 yrs and you'll be thinking about downsizing again. Use the "extra" to give them holidays and clubs without extra stress

Also, less cleaning and maintenance on a smaller property (building work costs have gone through the roof).

MoonWoman69 · 22/05/2024 13:11

Stay put and enjoy your monetary freedom!

NorthernMouse · 22/05/2024 13:11

Personally I’d work towards moving - I can understand your point of view and I can understand your DH’s. To me a garden and being detached (so not worrying about my DC screaming at each other) would be worth a few more hours work a week and fewer holidays.

I also like to feel as though I’m working towards a goal. If I’d been handed a house at a young age I’d be very happy but I might want to also feel as though I’d earnt something myself.

Your DH might be more like me.

Summerhillsquare · 22/05/2024 13:11

I'd be loading money into pensions or long term savings, and retrofitting the house to reduce energy bills. Make some hay while the sun shines.

StoatofDisarray · 22/05/2024 13:12

Stay where you are!

Coastallife36385 · 22/05/2024 13:14

Who cares what I’d do. Take your time thinking about what you want. Then you know what to tell your husband when that comes up again.

Katherineryan1986 · 22/05/2024 13:15

Stay where you are unless you hanker for a larger garden and off road parking.

Personally I would want garden and off road parking. Most people in your age group do have mortgages, so you are very lucky not to.

You can enrich your kids lives in other ways if you stay where you are, by taking them on trips and holidays

Luxembourgmama · 22/05/2024 13:16

you're dead right. you have quality of life. stay where you are.

Tumbletre · 22/05/2024 13:17

I’d definitely stay where you are if I was you! I’ve been thinking about this recently. I love our house and area, but it is a bit small/ garden is small. If we pushed ourselves we could maybe move to a bigger house in the same location, but on more of a main road (currently on a lovely cul de sac). But at the moment I work part time, we can afford a nice holiday etc and once kids are all in school dh could go part time too. If we move to the bigger house we’d probably both need to work full time, and would lose our lovely community where the kids play out. I’ve decided that our lifestyle is much more important to me than having the big house, so I think we’ll stay put!

thesmedsandthesmoos · 22/05/2024 13:18

The mortgage would actually be closer to around £800 a month, assuming you sold for £120k and bought for £250k... but there's a lot to be said for being mortgage free!

LittleLittleRex · 22/05/2024 13:18

I think I'd stay where I was, but play with the idea a bit. I'd start seeing how much we could save a month as if it was a mortgage, for example. It sounds as if DH would really like to move, so it isn't as straightforward as just being happy where you are.

Is the area different at all, you say posh but does it have more amenities/transport etc?

You might want to increase your hours when the kids get a bit older, you might want to be the house that older kids gravitate towards to hang out as there is space?

Waitingfordoggo · 22/05/2024 13:19

I would stay put- it’s a no-brainer to me. Being able to work part-time and not worry about bills, as well as going on holidays is a really nice way to live. In terms of what is better for your children- a larger house might be exciting to them, but I suspect they would prefer to be able to spend time with parents (parents who are not stressed because they aren’t having to work crazy hours and worry about money), and to go on holidays together.

Also don’t underestimate the time and cost involved in owning a large house and garden. We were able to buy a large detached house outright after an inheritance and while it’s great to not have a mortgage to pay, the cost of maintenance and council tax is considerable. And looking after the garden and small maintenance jobs around the house is basically another part-time job (mostly for my husband, as I am sadly lacking in practical skills).

Pollipops1 · 22/05/2024 13:19

Is there a middle ground? 1k a month out of your incomes doesn’t leave much particularly if you need to do work so it makes more sense to stay where you are

longdistanceclaraclara · 22/05/2024 13:22

I'd stay put

Summerof2024 · 22/05/2024 13:22

Stay where you are. All that money just for brick and mortar. Gardens take extra work as well. You could always save up and buy a rental property abroad if you have a favourite holiday destination you like to go to regularly. Also it sounds like your DH would be expecting you to do the extra hours of work to fulfill HİS goal.

Ticktapticktap · 22/05/2024 13:23

You could afford a mortgage for a £250k house without increasing your salaries, you'd just have less disposable income.

It depends really, on what you spend your disposable income on. If you spend it on living a fun-filled life, then I'd stay where I was.

If you just save it for an unspecified pot for the future, then I'd buy a bigger house and enjoy living in it from now.

Toastiecroissant · 22/05/2024 13:23

I wouldn’t consider 130k a huge mortgage.
since you have lots of excess money, you could easily spend a year saving it for any renovations and just do without holidays for one year or so. You could also work full time or up your hours a little bit?

that said, I’d probably stay out and have a stress free life and lots of holidays and time with dc. if you’re happy with your house and your balance then I don’t think you need to change. If you get into a 250k house, will your dh then notice 350k houses and dream of them instead?

AuroraAnimal · 22/05/2024 13:25

For me, I'd consider a very small garden and no parking to be a bit of a nightmare. I'd absolutely be looking to upsize to something with decent garden and parking.

Other people would make other choices. Neither is right or wrong and only you know what your preference is.

justafleshwound2024 · 22/05/2024 13:28

Stay put.

Thatgapinthewall67 · 22/05/2024 13:39

You sound very sensible to me op. Just some food for thought …

I’m nearing retirement now and my dds are at uni and it occurred to me that it’s kind of madness the way we spend our thirties and forties and fifties acquiring things and expanding and building on our family homes and now in our sixties we are spending ages decluttering and downsizing and getting rid of it all!

Far better I think to manage where you are, as long as there are parks nearby and you don’t mind squeezing their friends in and you put your money in to travel and experiences and a university fund for the dc and maybe a deposit for their first flats (so you pass your legacy from your grandparent down the line).

The dc really only need space and privacy in their teens from about 13 or 14 yrs to 18 or 20 and then they are away usually! It is nice to have room to accommodate their interests and friends tbh. A lot depends on whether your dc will stay at home to study after school or move away. They do often come back nowadays though… .

The one thing I would say though is, unrelated to housing, it’s good op if you have “something of your own” to focus on outside of home and dc. Whether that is expanding your pt job, or focusing on volunteering or a hobby, but whatever it is, really developing it so that your whole world doesn’t crumble when your dc leave home. I know it seems an age away now but it goes so quickly. And you need other interests to keep you buoyant and self fulfilled.

Good luck whatever decisions you make!