Is anyone else just not a happy person?

[Loveriver]

I come across quite happy i think but I'm not. On long term anti depressants but I've realised I'm just not a happy person. Since being very young I was always on edge, always worried about something and I'm still the same.

yes I can relate.
For me, it stems from an unstable dysfunctional childhood.

Yeah maybe me too. My mum didn't want kids so was resentful of us i think.

I didn’t have basic life skills, had no idea how to manage my emotions and self soothe; I thought I could use alcohol to manage life; that didn’t go well.

@Touty how do you learn to manage emotions? Ive only read the phrase managing emotions here, but I can't grasp what it means in practice. What life skills did you not learn?

I'm not a happy person but how much of this is down to me and how much is down to my upbringing I just don't know.

Me. It socks hairy balls.
To be honest I think its the difference between a depression disorder and situational depression

I've tried to come off anti depressants so many times and it's a disaster

@Horriblecushion in case it is of any help to you, my view of managing emotions means that in stead of being caught up in the grip of my emotions, I can 'get in first' before I react to the emotional stimulus and can change my instinctive unhelpful response for something that works well for me.

For example, I might recognise "Oh, I'm feeling angry because <something I react badly to> has happened.

Instead of unhelpful reactions like lashing out, drinking too much or over eating to get some relief, I can do something more helpful for me such as just smile ruefully, talk to a good friend about how I'm feeling or even just go for a walk or do some strenuous exercise.

Some people seem to learn to do this naturally. Others take a lot longer or maybe even never learn.

It does seem to be people who had good stable backgrounds with parents who could regulate their own emotions who learn this instinctively.

Hope that helps to some extent.

I cant feel anger really !

I’m a miserable, pessimistic bastard but I hide it quite well I think.

I think I have ADHD but have not yet had an assessment. Don’t know whether that is relevant or not.

Me too! I just can't be arsed some days to put a front on.

I used to be but grief put paid to it. Now I struggle. Sometimes in life we have to accept that antidepressants are our friends!

I think I'll be lifelong.

I’m going to ask the doc for buspirone for depression next week - I have high hopes.

I'm nor a happy person, deep down. I don't think I'm depressed. I'd describe it as almost a disappointment sort of unhappiness.

I’ve had therapy in the past and the therapist said to me that I have to learn to parent myself, so for example if things are not going well to take myself ie little girl by the hand and say there there it’s ok, we can get through this, we can manage etc. Being kind to self saying to the little girl don’t be upset afraid etc better days are coming etc.

particularly, my relationship with mother, emotionally abusive so the therapist said again take the little girl by the hand and remove her ie myself from the situation to protect her ie myself.

Thank you x

Some good points here. I remember as a child always having a level of anxiety and feeling sad

On a positive you can ensure your child never feels this way . Its so important in the early years to put in the work . I did not have a happy childhood . I make it my mission to ensure my children never go to bed or school sad or worried. I try my best everyday . Yes most days it is hard but I never want my children to feel the way I did.

I'm very negative in my outlook and a born cynic.
It's not good to be like this. I do count my blessings and try to be positive, but it doesn't come easy to me.
Maybe it's just people's natures ?