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Filled with regret

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oliviaAsx · 21/05/2024 20:24

2nd DS is 4mo. Still young but still so much more grown up from when I met him

he was a suprise pregnancy, I spent the whole pregnancy worrying about my eldest (nearly 3) I didn’t sit and soak it in

i spent the start of my youngest’s life depressed and im finally admitting it. I was depressed and struggling and hated trying to juggle 2 small kids with very different needs I was so lonely. It’s a bit easier now

but I look at my beautiful smiling boy and just am filled with so much regret that I wished time away because I was struggling. I don’t know if I’ll have another I hope I’d be lucky enough to one day but I think my partner doesn’t want another

even when I went past a babygrow I. A supermarket I cried because I remember being on maternity leave and picking it up because I loved the print and I knew he had soooo many babygrows and clothes but I loved it and thought I’ll just get this one and it felt special? So I bought it in his size now I don’t know if that’ll help or make me more emotional when I put it on him

i just feel so sad and emotional it was so hard but I wish I would’ve soaked things in a bit more

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