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Do I tell my child about his new sibling

6 replies

Mum2390 · 21/05/2024 17:13

Hi, I wasn't sure which topic to put this under, but I'm really stuck on what to do.. so my 9 year old son hasn't seen his dad in a year and a half (his dad slowly saw him less and less through his life until it went down to nothing), we still have contact with his sister and she told me his dad's new gf was pregnant back at Christmas and now she's been born, I don't know whether to tell him or not. I don't want to keep it from him as if/when he eventually finds out and that I knew about it isn't he going to be so angry at me for not telling him? And he lives in the same town as us so there's every possibility we could bump into him (that hasn't happened so far so I have no idea how that would play out) But I also don't want to possibly cause alot of hurt and confusion for him for basically no reason as he can't see her anyway. I'm not sure how he would take the fact that his dad has a new baby when he doesn't have contact with him but I do know for sure he would be upset he couldn't see the baby as he loves the other children in our family. I've been back and forth with what I'm going to do ever since I found out about it, just when I think ive made the right decision someone says something to make me doubt it, dad's sister has said it's best not to tell him yet because of his age but my older daughter (doesn't have the same dad) has said he needs to know incase he finds out and gets mad at me for not telling him. I know no one can make the decision for me I just wanted some other people's opinions or what they would do or if they have been in this situation
Thanks

OP posts:
leftkneeonbackwards · 21/05/2024 17:15

tell him, he might be upset - but withholding the information is not going to make it any better. Dont make a big deal of it, just in a conversation while watching TV or something, o by the way, I heard something interesting this morning.....

AnitaLoos · 21/05/2024 17:21

I’d be inclined to say that his dad had a new baby rather than he had a new sibling

Mum2390 · 21/05/2024 22:13

Thanks, that's I thought initially, it's just been one of them things where at the back of my mind I'm second guessing myself

And i wouldn't actually say the word sibling to him that was just for the post

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VelvetTurtle · 21/05/2024 22:38

My kids have a sibling they don't know about, I've never told my kids because they won't be seeing them so no benefit to them really.

Littletreefrog · 21/05/2024 22:40

Tell him his Dad has had a baby with his new partner. Dont frame it as a brother or sister as they may not ever have any sort of relationship. Secrets never end well.

ManchesterGirl2 · 21/05/2024 22:42

I'd tell him, sadly it might upset him but that's better than a big secret coming out later. "Your dad and X have had a baby."

What a horrible man to not see his son 😠

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