Apologies for the long post but I have this morning got a message from a woman I have been friends - sort of - for many years, like 45 years. I really feel that there is nothing much we have in common anymore as in we don't live in the same area, neither of us knows anything about our respective adult kids, our messages are very infrequent. My job is quite demanding, I think she has retired now from caring duties. My 1st husband & her late DH used to be flatmates in the mid/late 1970's.
But I think I feel like this mainly because a few years ago I tried to reach out & visit with her, she agreed to my visit then changed plans to see another friend & went to another town with her. Sounds like just a change of plans but I had already left for hers, felt hurt that she seemed to easily discard meeting up so pulled back a bit. Not much contact after that at all & I only responded to a happy birthday or merry christmas etc.
The last few weeks this womans messages have been more frequent (like 3 times, more than what we've shared in the past 2 years) & I dont want to see her. Just keep how we used to be friends but now moved on, with not much in common.
Would you message a person & say this or just keep ghosting them/giving non-committal replies? I have seen other posts like this here on MN but cannot find them right now.
I dont think I want to be rude or hurtful (understand that ghosting can seem like that to the other party though) but I truly dont want to have this woman from years ago pop up into my life now when I dont think theres anything left to talk about.
Am I being mean & should I meet with her again? I have loads of friends & work mates, family around me so I'm not a Nigel-no-mates crying at home for the lack of things to do.