I give up

[BigSaddo]

I’m being treated unfairly as a single mum.
I haven’t done anything wrong, I’m the sole provider and yet over the last couple of weeks where I’ve reached out for help I’ve been shot down every time and/or told things are all my fault.
From on here to authority figures.
That’s all. No therapy until Wednesday so I just needed someone to hear it.

That sounds really tough.

I know you say you've been shot down on here. Is there a specific issue that you can maybe ask for help on, that would help your day to day life a little bit?

Sometimes a small change can help make a big impact.
It sounds as though you've been burned on MN though. But it might be worth a try?

How are you being treated unfairly?

Basically wading through a sea of sexism, which I know we all do and I probably should just get over.

I have applied for maintenance. Before I did this I was told I was failing my child as I hadn’t yet.
Now that I have, I’ve been told I shouldn’t, that I’m grabby, that my ex obviously had a good reason for leaving us.
I’ve been asked why I didn’t practically bend over backwards offering baby up on a silver platter to ex.

Probably all sounds like mad rambling I apologise. I’m just totally done in now.

Firstly, it sounds as though you did the right thing in claiming child support. It shows you're putting your child first.

As should your ex. It doesn't matter (financially) why your ex left. They still have responsibility to ensure the child is safe, fed, clothed, housed.

Thank you. It took me a year to get the guts to do it but now it feels like I’ve opened a can of worms

Yes, but it had to be done. You're doing what's best for your DC.

And if he's kicking off, well that shows you that you're better off without him.

Hang in there. There are always people ready to stick it in because it makes them feel better in some weird way, especially on anonymous chat forums. If you've claimed maintenance now that's great. You are doing your best for your child and that might not look like someone else's best because you, your ex and your child's dynamic is not the same as anyone else's. Again, hang in there, look after yourself in small ways (and big if you can).

I had police call in response to a Clare’s Law request I made. She told me I ought to think about when my boy asks about Daddy and letting him see extended family on that side.
He left me during pregnancy and she said so he’s paying for a son he didn’t even know existed. (He was well aware, attended scans at first)
I feel like I’m swimming through syrup. Of course I’ve thought a million times over what I’m going to say. It’s not like I chose this.