How do I cope?

[lonleytiredx]

Running on empty. I have a 4mo and 2 yo and with it being summer and lighter days he’s waking early so he sleeps through but gets up raring to go early after I’ve been up every hour/2 with the baby

I’m so drained I just want a little block of sleep. Youngest is ebf won’t take a dummy so to get asleep she resists until she feeds to sleep so I can’t even give her to anyone to get her to nap Which means she’s glued to me so I worry my DS just feels the difference:( as opposed to what things were like before she was here

My DS has a big appetite constantly asks for food but I have to draw the line. He will eat a full meal and say more or want something after it so I give healthy stuff like fruit but I feel like he just constantly asks for food??? And then tantrums if I say no to things like a full adult size chocolate bar ! Hard when we’re out in public he melt downs for big snacks on show and even if he’s just ate

I’m so drained so tired and I just can’t stop thinking about sleep :( I know I’m not alone I’m one of many who’s had 2 young kids I just need tips because I’m getting so down I’m so exhausted nd lonely

What is your husband doing to help?

That sounds super tough... It's such an intense time, isn't it.

Some suggestions that worked for me:

• black out blinds
• Co sleeping, I used pj's that I could easily bf in, so I could feed the baby whilst lying down in bed with her
• if your older child will watch a film or TV series, have a mat on the floor and try and get a nap in whilst he's busy (again, you could lie with/near the baby if they're also having a nap so you can easily bf.

I know cosleeping isn't something everyone is comfortable with, but I wouldn't have survived without it!!

It’ll be a big change for your DS, does he go to nursery so he has a bit of time away from the baby? If not I’d look into that for both and you to get some time with just baby.

Thanks my DH works quite a lot, long hours so it’s weekends he helps but he’s always tired too because of his long working don’t feels like we’re passing ships :(

he does do nursery (need the days being kept as I return to work later in year) and I love the days I get with my youngest :) the 1-2-1 time I gave my edlest

but I would love some sleep , DD has never been a sleeper someone mentioned the 4 month regression to me and I just thought that’s how she’s always slept ! She was never a sleepy newborn and never naps longer than 20 mins really

theyre my world and I want to be the best for them it’s hard running on barely any sleep and my toddler reaching the developmental stage of everything being a bit of a battle!

RE: Co sleeping, tried it but it hasn’t made much difference with DD :( DS it really helped with and up until recently we co slept; only stopped near baby arrival but yeah our youngest just does not like any sort of sleep anywhere it feels, even contact naps don’t stretch her naps out :(

Can anyone take baby out in the pram while you sleep?

You need to go to sleep early, like 8pm while your husband has the baby til midnight. I had a baby that didn't sleep for more than 45 mins, it was the only way to survive

Can you do shifts with DH? I know he's working but so are you - raising your children. My DH worked long hours but still did shifts with me when the babies were small and not sleeping well. You go to bed as early as you can 7 ish through until midnight/1 DH puts toddler to bed and looks after baby. If baby needs feeding bring baby to you for feed only DH take away for nappy change settle etc. would you be open to expressing a bottle to allow a longer sleep? The. From 1 you take over. I know it's so bloody hard but knowing I was going to get a 4 hour chunk of sleep every 24 hours saved mt sanity.

Re food. Try giving high protein foods to fill him up. Porridge, weetabix, bananas peanut butter etc

When toddler at nursery rest as much as you can. Leave the housework as much as you can. You can't do it all.

It's so hard. I have a 2 year age gap. I get it!

Also echo black out blinds. Decent ones. And a gro clock.

Your DH needs to do either the evening or the morning so you get a chunk of sleep.

The food and tantrums sound standard, what needs addressing is your tiredness.

She doesn’t settle for anyone else is that normal with bf babies I think anyones scared to have her because anytime they’ve offered they have to pass her back because they don’t know how to settle her

i am switching to formula/bottles soon so she’s used to it for me returning to work I might bring it forward

Is she distressed from 8-12 at night though? DS wouldn't settle for anyone but me but he needed little in that time slot.