Do your DPs have female friends like this

[Petuna]

I was thinking after reading so many threads on here. Do your dp or dh have female friends that they don't want to be be with or fancy yet do nice things for them? If they help these female friends does it make you jealous or think aw what a good guy?

What do you mean by ‘do nice things for’?
DH has female colleagues that he would give lifts to and things like that. If they have to work late or have done particularly well at something he’ll ask me to make cakes or chocolates to take in but that’s for the men as well as the women.

Build furniture, call to make sure they're OK, give lifts as some off the top of my head examples

My DP would do those things for his ex. Which I’m perfectly happy about - it’s mainly for his DS to be fair, but even without him in the mix, helping out someone you have known for a long time is just a kind thing to do. My XH would do all of those things for me too. In fact once I was on holiday with my then DP and XH took delivery of some furniture to my house and built it while I was away.

Yes.

Yes to the first question or the 2nd?

@Petuna Sorry. Yes to the first. Neither to the second- it's just how I think people ought to be.

Mine only has male close friends. Gets along with female colleagues but not to a friend level where hes meeting up with them out of work or chatting socially in the evenings etc.
If he was giving a female colleague a lift to work on the way to work or went over once to help build something I wouldn't be jealous, but if he kept talking about a specific woman and was finding different excuses to spend time together outside of something like lifts to work then I'd suspect he was interested in more than friends.

Yes, same as I have male friends. Don't give it much thought TBH.

Interesting responses so far. That's nice and what I would have thought prior to reading mn threads about new female friends and husbands

Absolutely, just as I have good male friends. I think men without good female friends are a bit odd/lopsided.

Sounds like a decent man to me. Do You know his friends? Get stuck in and join in if you can. I don't think you can have too many people that are looking out for you...I mean real friends btw, not cheeky mumsnet mates or acquaintances

DH has 2 very close female friends. I'm trying to think if he's ever done "nice things" for them, but I can't come up with anything.

He definitely would if he was asked - but, both of them have partners, so he's never been called upon to do "manly stuff" like building furniture.

He used to go out for meals/drinks with them, but that hasn't happened for a good few years. We've all been busy with our jobs/kids etc.

My then fiancé answered his ex-wife's plea for help when she had a flat tyre. For some reason, she didn't get her affair partner to fix it.

By then, they had a 'civilised' relationship. However, I picked up on the fact that certain aspects of the upcoming wedding were being discussed with the ex and I'll admit to being not entirely comfortable with it.

Come the week of the wedding, and I discover that the ex and the AP are going away on holiday 3 days before our wedding, to get away from it all. The adult kids are staying at her place.

My fiancé organises a taxi for him and his son (also the Best Man) and another for his daughter and her partner.

I feel sorry for the ex.

We get back from our honeymoon.

A month or so later, DH is needed at his ex's place again.

He gets home. "Guess where Ex and AP went on holiday?"

"Turkey?"

"No."

"Spain?"

"No."

"Sorrento. The [5 star sister hotel of our 4 star honeymoon hotel.] She said they didn't like it - she described it as 'decayed opulence'."

NB Our hotel shared facilities with their hotel: primarily a sunbathing platform. We went to have a look at it once, but it wasn't for us, so we never returned. We didn't bump into the other pair at all.

After that, DH stopped doing favours for his ex.

Interesting, thanks guys. Would you class any of these things as romantic gestures or just friendly? I've been reading more threads today and the amount of cheating that seems rife with new female friends is crazy

dh has female friends.

He isn't a practical sort of a person, so I don't think anybody (male or female) would be asking him to build furniture fore them.
He'd give lifts to friends if needed. As I do for people I am with / going somewhere with regardless of their sex.

No, I've never been jealous of any of his friends.
He has never been jealous of any of my friends.
We trust each other, and choose to be with each other.

we have mutual friends we see together .When we first got together he had 2 female friends who wanted to do something/eat out every weekend.One of them i didnt mind but the other had a different agenda . I explained i wasnt happy and that we should split as we wanted different things . i was honest that it wasnt working for me .He worked away and had just got into a habit and they were always out .He stopped going to meet them every weekend, and one was furious really angry said she needed him. I think both him and the other girl were shocked .
He doesnt have any female friends now . i think her reaction shocked him .
His best mates are male and mine female .Neither of us like lots of friends

but iv never seen anyone as angry when he said he wasnt going out

Yep. My dp has friends of both sexes he will do that sort of thing for.

My DP has several close female friends. He’ll see them without me, go to their houses, take them out for dinner if they are having a hard time, help them move home.

Some have become my friends too over the years. I’ve never felt jealous. There is one who I think would like me to be jealous!

My DH doesn't really have female friends, but if he did I'd want to be friends with them as well. If they didn't want to or didn't like me then I wouldn't be keen on him doing stuff for them, no.
If I knew them and they were cool, and also did favours for him then yeah, fine.
I do a couple of favours for friends of both sexes, but I wouldn't do it if my DH didn't want me to or didn't like those people.
It's important in a relationship to feel that the two of you are eachothers first priority. Then if partner is happy, go ahead and help a friend.

No, DH doesn't really have any friends, male or female. He has work colleagues and acquaintances but the friendship is superficial and he wouldn't do favours for them. I am the same. We'd only do favours for family really. I wouldn't like it if he did favours for others - everything has an opportunity cost and would cut into things he could be doing with/for our family.

Yes. Dh is a primary teacher so most of his work colleagues are female. He texts and gossips, goes for drinks with and does nice things for the ones from this school and previous ones who are friends.

His "best" teacher pals who he'd go most often for a pint with are male, but I wouldn't be surprised if he met a female colleague and went for lunch/coffee during the holidays.

He still has female friends from his previous career. The one he's closest to is also my friend, but again it would be normal for them to have online chats that don't involve me, or meet her without me.

Everyone sees my dh coming. He's the kindest most generous person to me, our family and his friends. He met an old friend of his for lunch and she got a parking ticket. He paid. Not going to change him that's how he is.

I wouldn’t like it. Previous guy I dated had a female colleague “like a sister” to him friend. He would cook her dinner sometimes alone. He ended up admitting he liked her and asked her out romantically after we ended. She wasn’t interested lol but turns out he was

Yes, they're mutually kind to each other like his male friends, it's a nice trait.

One of his female friends used to beg IT-related favours all the time. He’s still friends with her, but he decided she was taking the piss and started saying no.