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Has anyone felt like they have lost themselves? If so, how did you get you back?

3 replies

Yummybumble · 18/05/2024 18:35

I’m tired. I am exhausted. I have small children the youngest being 18 months, we have no help at all beyond paid childcare with my parents both deceased and DH parents living a few hours away each, when we see them they are great but they can’t do the school run if we have messed our times up.

Both me and DH work full time in mentally demanding jobs. If I could work less I probably would but the usual story of big mortgage high childcare bills want to eat. We literally rush from Monday morning to Friday night. We both end up working some evenings to make up for the fact we haven’t quite done what we should because of having to pick the kids up.

I have put on a stone a couple of years, part children part exhaustion so I crave junk food and am a bit of a snaffler for biscuits to get me through the day. my hair is a mess and hasn’t been cut in two years, what with baby and money it just never seems to be on the top of the list.

We are doing work to the house, absolutely needed as we bought a project - totally up for it but the only time to do anything is evenings and about two hours each day on the weekend when littlest is asleep.

We have a big garden which is a child’s dream but it needs work.

I feel like a mess, I look like a mess and sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder when the cheerful, well presented and may I say it, mildly attractive, me has gone.

I love my children, I love my DH we have our issues like everyone but he is fundamentally my best friend, I love my house and I love my job (mostly!!) and I am very privileged to say that. However as I drag myself out to walk the dog for the evening, I am thinking please god don’t let me bump into anyone.

To anyone who felt like this - what did you do, spa trip is not an option and even if it was I don’t think I’d fit into my costume!

OP posts:
Yummybumble · 18/05/2024 18:48

I should say - before the deluge of work less spend more time with your children. Even with childcare we are significantly financially better off than if I didn’t work and I work in a way that allows me to to drop off and pick ups (9 and 4) and be present for my children. Negative of this is the evening working to catch up.

OP posts:
PieFaces · 18/05/2024 18:59

Eke out some time at weekends initially. You can both have a couple of hours Saturday and Sunday to follow an interest. Then family time.

bakewellbride · 18/05/2024 19:05

I am knackered with 2 young kids and no family help too op. Things that help me include:
Hot water and lemon every day first thing
Running twice a week as this is my hobby. Find a hobby and carve out time for it. I know that's really hard but even during a hectic week I squeeze in 20 mins.
Sunday treat evening - face mask, sort out nails, exfoliate, chocolate etc.

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