Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Can someone please help me with putting on weight

25 replies

Sunflowersgone · 18/05/2024 06:37

I know the answer is eat more. I’m so sick with nerves and stress I can’t. It’s like food turns to saw dust in my mouth. My mum suffered with her nerves too and had periods of looking horribly underweight and I have in the past but not to this degree.

I cannot get rid of the source of the stress, it’s a workplace employment tribunal where I am a witness for the company I still work for. I’ve accessed all well-being support which is essentially talking for an hour whilst someone acknowledges they can’t actually do anything about the stress which is situational.

I don’t want to go to court looking like a wreck which is making me even more stressed

OP posts:
Sunflowersgone · 18/05/2024 06:39

I cannot face a big plate of food so I need high calorie snacks, small meals. I’m not a fan of sweet food, savoury just seems more manageable at the moment.

OP posts:
Sunflowersgone · 18/05/2024 06:41

What is worrying me is that the company will be liable for a huge payout if they lose, I’m the key witness upon which it hinges. My recollection and day in court is going to make a difference (I’m not projecting here I’ve been told this repeatedly). Im so sick with anxiety in case I cock it up

OP posts:
Pitstop1986 · 18/05/2024 06:46

So sorry that you're going through this awful period of stress. I'm sure that you've exhausted all avenues to treat this, but walking whilst listening to an audiobook (so that i can't hear myself think!) yoga and booking myself in for a massage help me.

Can you eat high calorie/low volume foods such as nuts and nut butters, dried fruit, chocolate, butter and oils, granola, full fat products like whole milk, etc?

Have a little bowl of nuts, dried fruit and chocolate chips within reach and graze on them. Drink a decaf latte made with whole milk, add plenty of butter and oil when you cook. Pate on a slice of toast or Crackers, cubes of cheese... If you're not eating meals at all, maybe try a protein shake, a smoothie or an ensure drink to try to get a bit more nutrition inside you without physically having to eat more.

Willyoubuymeahouseofgold · 18/05/2024 06:55

I think you can go with high calorie foods above, but if eating is an issue then go for the drinks that the doctors use like Fortisip or others. They do tend to be sweet, but I think you're going to have to hold your nose and drink it down. You can get them from Amazon and probably other places. Write out your meal / snack timetable and stick to it like a medical prescription.
Good luck with tribunal.

AhBiscuits · 18/05/2024 06:56

What kind of foods do you particularly like? Is it easier to drink some calories? You could make a milkshake and add bananas and peanut butter.

DirtyCheeseBurger · 18/05/2024 06:56

Can you drink complan type shakes. They are good to top up what you are eating as they are full of vitamins and minerals.

Otherwise salty biscuits, hummus, crisps, avocado, peanut butter, cheese.

EwwSprouts · 18/05/2024 07:04

Sorry you are under so much stress.
I would go for snacks with big flavours.
Smoked cheese with cherry tomatoes.
Samosa.
Pate on bagel.
Soup from the supermarket fridge not canned. M&S do a thai chicken curry one that I really like but there's lots of choice.

soupfiend · 18/05/2024 07:04

Yes you need small amounts of high calorie dense foods, nuts, avocado, things with oil in like mayonnaise perhaps mixed with oily fish like salmon, seeds, cheese

Girlintheframe · 18/05/2024 07:10

What about drinking your calories? Milkshakes, smoothies with nut butter in or you can buy things like complan/complete meal shakes? Sometimes drinking is easier than facing a plate of food.

Sunflowersgone · 18/05/2024 07:11

Thank you all

The added stress of prepping a meal I can’t face so food I can snack on and drinks is how I am getting through the day at the moment

I have tea when I wake up and then a latte (full fat and I’ve started asking them to add a syrup) but then I don’t feel hungry for hours so I’m not sure this is right. I was thinking I could have a flapjack or pastry with the coffee on my way to work. Those bars are really good, the nature valley ones but they aren’t high calorie , I have one of those around 12pm. I really like nuts so I’m eating peanuts, Brazil nuts, pistachios (hate peanut butter so that’s a no go). Usually I love bread but I can’t swallow it at the moment, I like to dip it in oil and vinegar. Pitta and hummous I could try

OP posts:
Sunflowersgone · 18/05/2024 07:13

The problem with drinking the calories is the heavy feeling in my stomach I have 24hrs a day. It’s like carrying a boulder around inside me. Drinking or eating a big meal makes it worse

OP posts:
HeadacheEarthquake · 18/05/2024 07:20

Bless you I know what you mean about lattes and smoothies - I feel too full as well

What about getting a nice quiche and cutting it up to grab and go, or those lovely frittatas with potato?

JennyfromtheBlok · 18/05/2024 07:24

For meals - what about soup but then have it with really nice bread and butter dipped in?
I know you said you like bread.

or what about a nice fruit crumble and custard? Obviously buy one don’t bother making

hope you feel better soon

BaconCozzers · 18/05/2024 07:26

This sounds stressful op, but you'll get there ❤️

I'm very hesitant to suggest dropping your morning tea because presumably it has milk in and also I would not be impressed to be deprived of my massive morning cuppa. But, I am aware it 'fills me up' a bit so I don't fancy breakfast until a bit later. So, could you experiment with having just water or squash first thing so you are more up for a flapjack/pastry on the way to work? Then have a tea mid morning?

Otherwise, I think a variety of textures as well as calorific might be good. So crackers for the crunch with maybe cream cheese/other topper. Decent ice cream. Avo toast + extras. Nuts as you say, maybe a chillied pack for variety. Veg sticks + hummus/whatever dip you like available in the fridge to graze on.

Are you taking a multivitamin?

All the best x

Deanefan · 18/05/2024 07:36

Sympathies OP it’s harsh of people to tell you “it’s all on you” Little and often with high calorie foods is the way forward. How about breakfast before you leave for work, fry some chorizo chunks so the oil runs out then scramble two eggs mixed with a spoonful of cream in with the chorizo. Small plateful and easy to swallow but calorie dense. For snacking in the day Nakd do some bars that are basically just fruit and nuts squashed together my son loves them but has them with some milk as they are quite dry he finds they are not overly sweet. I agree with other pate, crackers, cheese, olives all good choices too.

winterwarmer8274 · 18/05/2024 07:46

I struggle with eating during periods of stress too OP and went through a period after a breakup where food literally repulsed me. I would feel sick every time I put food in my mouth and I totally relate to the sawdust comment.

I found foods I didn't have to chew and without much flavor much easier to eat.

  • Rice pudding / risotto
  • Overnight oats
  • Custard / yogurt (you can add things like chia seeds to these for extra vitamins, I would also add protein powder for extra protein)
  • Mashed potatoes / butternut squash (with butter / cream / cheese for the calories and I would also mash veggies in like broccoli etc)
  • Mashed avocado, mashed banana, cottage cheese on toast
  • Small pancakes with lots of butter, toast with butter
  • Soups with added cream
  • Hummus with cucumber / carrots (I steam the carrots so they were softer)
  • Steamed plain veggies (steamed until they were soft)
  • For protein I found fish much easier than chicken or beef etc. Salmon fillets / white fish is very easy to chew and swallow.

I also found multiple very small 'snacks' throughout the day easier to eat than full meals because I was never hungry, I was just eating because I knew I had to.

I know you said you don't like smoothies but these were very helpful for me. Fortsip as recommend above is also very good for getting calories in.

I hope you feel better soon :)

winterwarmer8274 · 18/05/2024 07:51

Also - you said you hate peanut butter but what about almond butter / cashew nut butter etc?

If it's just the taste rather than the texture these could be good.

LizzieBennett73 · 18/05/2024 07:53

When my youngest was in the grip of an eating disorder, we relied on home made smoothies and no more than half pint servings. You can buy frozen fruit mixes and we just used these with a scoop of protein powder, and full fat milk.

She liked bowls of ice cream; small bowls of home made soup; all small servings as you really shrink your stomach by not eating. Little and often rather than heavy dense meals that make you feel uncomfortable. I'd personally avoid fortesip etc as it's just sugar and there is no nutritional value in it at all. We also did little snack pots in plastic containers - cubes of cheese with walnuts; olives if you like them. Things you don't need much of to get the calories in.

Lilacdew · 18/05/2024 07:55

This is tough. The quickest way to pack in calories in small amounts of food is via nuts or fat. Could you make yourself some crackers from ground or chopped nuts, oats and butter, then eat a couple with a sliver of cheese or some cream cheese and maybe some tomato or cucumber to balance the flavour if it feels too rich.

For breakfast, full fat Greek yoghurt with a few berries and chopped walnuts.

Or low sugar granola with full fat milk.

Make your own bread (or get a loved one to make it for you) and add lots of seeds and ground nuts, melted butter or olive oil to it. A single slice, toasted with a bit of butter will be rich in calories and savoury.

Or scrambled eggs - much easier to eat 2-3 eggs scrambled than any other way as they seem smaller. Cook them with butter and a bit of single cream. Have on a slice of toast with butter. Even if you only manage a few mouthfuls, there will be sufficient calories in eggs cooked this way.

You can make thick soup from lentils and carrots and onions, then add a swirl of cream and some sprinkled toasted seeds on top (leave the seeds out if they'd make you gag.) Eat a small bowlful with a slice of bread and butter - garlic butter if it tastes less fatty to you.

Before you eat, sit a moment. Take four slow deep breaths in through the nose, out through the mouth. Gently tell yourself: this is to keep me well and strong. I will take my time, in peace, to eat it.

You probably won't put on weight but these might help you not lose more.

soupfiend · 18/05/2024 08:19

Dont forget to take a good multi vitamin with minerals as well OP

FusionChefGeoff · 18/05/2024 08:33

Cubes of cheese would make a great high calorie snack / grazing option.

FusionChefGeoff · 18/05/2024 08:36

I'd also suggest trying some different counselling! Yes, your stress is stemming from a situation - but equally it's how yYOU react to that situation which generates the stress. Not everyone who is in this sitaution would get so stressed they can't eat and therefore it's possible to work on your reaction to reduce the stress.

The obvious fact is that you're 'just' a witness - it's not your company, or your tribunal. Your job is to tell the truth. If you do that you can't get it wrong, you can't make a mistake. Anything else that happens isn't actually your issue.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 18/05/2024 08:39

The opposite of what I try to do but can you have calorie dense snacks and eat while doing something, watching TV, reading a book, so you're not noticing what you're eating in the same way as when you sit down at the table for a meal?
So rather than just some nuts have a handful of nuts, cubes of cheese, a few mini cheddars little bits , even some chocolate buttons, have cream in your coffee

Packingcubesqueen · 18/05/2024 08:42

Milkshakes and salted nuts eaten little and often. Small biscuits might not fill you up but will add lots of calories if eaten throughout the day.

jellyandgelato · 18/05/2024 08:50

How about doing some exercise to manage the stress which would hopefully make you feel more hungry and then you would have more of an appetite? I find exercise such a great stress reliever but it does make you hungry. Obvs in your situation you would want to avoid burning more calories exercising and then not replenishing properly if no improvement in appetite, so it may not be suitable. Just a thought.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page