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Ex DP getting married feel like I'm suffocating

10 replies

Snickernoodle · 17/05/2024 21:45

I'll try and keep this as concise as possible.
I was with Ex for 12 years. Starting when we were teenagers. We had what seemed like a really nice life. 2 children, nice cars and a gorgeous house in a lovely location. This all meant a lot to me as grew up in an unstable situation. We bickered about the usual things but never had any reason for a big blow out argument but even with the kids we seemed to have plenty of us time as well.
However 18 months ago he told me he wasn't happy and that he didn't think we worked as a couple anymore. I was utterly devastated. He's literally all I've ever known. He moved out and within a few months he was seeing someone else. I don't know if there was overlap. Though it breaks my heart there probably was.
Tonight he called me and told me that they are getting married next year. He wants to tell DD tomorrow.
We were engaged for 8 years and he always had a reason (I can now see that they were excuses) not to do it. No matter my suggestion there was always a reason why or he wanted to wait etc.
I feel so gutted. All I wanted for so many years was to marry him. Sounds very silly but I wanted to be Bride and have our girls be bridesmaids. I don't know how ill face him tomorrow. It's like all those years of being together meant nothing. That he loves her more than he ever loved me.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/05/2024 21:51

How painful, I’m so sorry 💐

Countrygirlxo · 17/05/2024 21:54

Ah that's so shit but don't torture yourself. I made myself ill over a bad break up, torturing myself, questioning everything. Hold your head high, you got this

OmuraWhale · 17/05/2024 22:01

Oh OP. I would be devastated too Sad

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GreyTS · 17/05/2024 22:20

Oh honey, I'm so so sorry, there's no easy around this pain, but I promise one day you'll feel the satisfaction of a life well lived, of raising your kids, you'll very likely meet someone, and you'll be glad he left. But right now it's shit, I hope you have people who love you and who'll do stuff you love with you, whether that's going out and getting drunk, or tea and chats

Snickernoodle · 18/05/2024 11:08

I'm dreading my girls coming home as they will be so excited.
For so many years I honesty believed him it was not the right time. And all our families seemed so sure we would marry. I do remember after a few drinks with his his step-mum saying to her if he wanted to marry me he would. It was always within his power so I guess he was just waiting for someone else all these years.

OP posts:
ThatshallotBaby · 18/05/2024 11:16

This isn’t a reflection on you @Snickernoodle
You are just great and deserve love and commitment. This is about him, and his issues.
So painful for you, but really it’s not because he was waiting for somebody ‘better’
Flowers

ThatshallotBaby · 18/05/2024 11:17

I would bet money that it won’t last btw

newfriend05 · 18/05/2024 13:15

Aww OP I've been here , it's so painful sending you a hug xx

SpringerFall · 18/05/2024 13:18

ThatshallotBaby · 18/05/2024 11:17

I would bet money that it won’t last btw

Going on what?

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 18/05/2024 13:20

Big hugs! I understand how sad you must feel, perfectly natural. I'm sure one day you'll meet someone who deserves you.

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