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The things children say

8 replies

LanaL · 17/05/2024 17:33

I think this will be entertaining . Whether as a parent or a teacher / ta etc - what’s the funniest or weirdest things a child has said to you ?

Im a teacher and I have lots 🤣 enjoy ! Would love to hear more .

Child came to me very excited and said “ Miss I think you are having a baby ! “ I said I was not and they said “ but I can see the pregnant belly! “ .

” what’s wrong with your face “ no context to this.

”why is your face like that” no context .

“ what is on your face “ ( I had put more make up on as it was photo day ) .. then , after I explained - “ don’t do that again”

” your eyebrows look like Russia “

“ do you wear a wig ? “
“No”
” oh , I thought you did because it’s always messy at the top “

Me : “does anyone have any nice plans for the weekend ? “
Child “ I am flying to Asia on a private jet”

Me “ can you tell me what we are leading to do in Maths ? “
Child “ poo “

child “ look “ .. puts finger in ear .
Me “ ..”
child “ look now “ Puts same finger in mouth .

Child “ are you married “
Me “ yes”
Child “ why ? ”
me “ because when people love each other , they might want to get married in a church in front of God so God can bless our marriage etc etc “
Child “ no I mean why ? “
Me “ I’m not sure what you mean “
child “ why did your husband choose to marry you “
Me “ because xxxx “
Child “ but why didn’t he marry a pretty lady “

OP posts:
lovemyboyz247 · 17/05/2024 17:43

😁
When I was pregnant with my second son, my older one was about 4 and loved Thomas the tank engine.

I was quite big with both my pregnancies and we were going out so I had make up one.

Just as we were leaving, my son said are you ready? I said and he pointed to my blusher and said you look like the fat controller.

I started rubbing the blusher off straight away, gave him a massive hug and couldn't stop laughing 😆 I was laughing so hard I thought I would go into labour

Ihopeithinkiknow · 17/05/2024 17:45

I lost my 22 year old son 2 years ago next week and he used to say the funniest things when he was younger and I just love to tell people about the daft things he used to say 😂

He came running up to me when he was about 5 saying how he had won a Kit Kat out of the machine he put his money in hahaha bless him lol it was a vending machine.

He loved Vietnamese whirls 😂 (Viennese whirls)

He always got Freddie Mercury and Eddie Murphy mixed up 😂 but only in conversation and I can't think why he would ever get those 2 mixed up lol

He told me we needed to get a dehumanitiser for the landing 😂 he meant dehumidifier, this was not long before he died so he never really grew out of it lol

MargaretThursday · 17/05/2024 17:56

Two of my favourites for ds was when he was about 5 and very into WWII.

The first one was that the school had decided to have a word of the week. This, as far as I can tell meant that they picked a long word and used it whenever possible. "Well done for cooperating with the pencil sharpener" "That was lovely cooperation tidying up" etc. Ds said to dd2 "Will you cooperate with me on that apple?" Otherwise known as "give me a bite."
Anyway, one day he came to me and asked what "collaboration" was. Now knowing he'd just been reading a WWII book I assumed he'd got some information about "collaborators" and so I gave the explanation round that. His response: "Why does school think we should do this?" Oops. I told his teacher at parents' evening. They stopped doing it very shortly afterwards.

But one of my favourites was he'd been given a load of those little green soldiers to play with and was desperate to play with them. DD2 was not going to, but dd1 was persuadable a few times. After a number of times where her soldiers had been squashed by tennis balls or whatever he was using as ammunition she said to him: "I don't really like playing war. Do you think I could at least be neutral?"
Quick as a flash he replied: "Great. We'll do Pearl Harbour. You can be America." Having not done that in history, she had no idea what that meant. But she found out quite quickly.

PurpleChrayn · 17/05/2024 18:57

When my DD was about 2.5 she looked at a reed diffuser and solemnly said "Spaghetti bottle."

More recently, when I pointed out a cat in the street, she (now age 3.5) asked me "Is he black and somebody loves him?" It was so random I couldn't stop laughing.

LanaL · 17/05/2024 18:58

lovemyboyz247 · 17/05/2024 17:43

😁
When I was pregnant with my second son, my older one was about 4 and loved Thomas the tank engine.

I was quite big with both my pregnancies and we were going out so I had make up one.

Just as we were leaving, my son said are you ready? I said and he pointed to my blusher and said you look like the fat controller.

I started rubbing the blusher off straight away, gave him a massive hug and couldn't stop laughing 😆 I was laughing so hard I thought I would go into labour

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:
LanaL · 17/05/2024 19:00

Ihopeithinkiknow · 17/05/2024 17:45

I lost my 22 year old son 2 years ago next week and he used to say the funniest things when he was younger and I just love to tell people about the daft things he used to say 😂

He came running up to me when he was about 5 saying how he had won a Kit Kat out of the machine he put his money in hahaha bless him lol it was a vending machine.

He loved Vietnamese whirls 😂 (Viennese whirls)

He always got Freddie Mercury and Eddie Murphy mixed up 😂 but only in conversation and I can't think why he would ever get those 2 mixed up lol

He told me we needed to get a dehumanitiser for the landing 😂 he meant dehumidifier, this was not long before he died so he never really grew out of it lol

Oh I love them 🤣🤣

Do you still call Viennese whirls Vietnamese whirls ??

It’s lovely that you have those lovely memories of him ! Thank you for sharing them x

OP posts:
LanaL · 17/05/2024 19:00

PurpleChrayn · 17/05/2024 18:57

When my DD was about 2.5 she looked at a reed diffuser and solemnly said "Spaghetti bottle."

More recently, when I pointed out a cat in the street, she (now age 3.5) asked me "Is he black and somebody loves him?" It was so random I couldn't stop laughing.

Spaghetti bottle 🤣🤣

OP posts:
Destiny123 · 17/05/2024 19:10

I'm autistic. Mentor an autistic 11yo.

She was asking me why I went to 5 schools
I said cos of bullying ....
Why?
Cos I'm a bit odd.

Long pause. "Well u are weird" as I choke laughing with a mouthful of hotchoc

Redeemed herself with "but it's fine cos I'm weird too"

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