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TW - sexual assault - ‘can’t prove it, so can’t take it any further.’

3 replies

scarediwastedtime · 17/05/2024 09:37

About ten years ago or so I was (I think) sexually assaulted by a doctor. Quite complex circumstances and if it was assault it was done very subtly.

I was encouraged heavily to report it to police last year and I eventually did; they took a statement and said they’d investigate.

That was about a year ago. The police have since rang me this week saying they can’t go any further - they can’t prove it happened, they can’t prove sexual intent (which they said is necessary for it to be a crime), there was no one else present that they can identify. There was a female chaperone however the hospital in question have admitted they didn’t record exactly who was working where and when at the time, and they have no record of who that chaperone was. They said it might have been a student and if it was there will definitely be no record.

I understand why they’re saying all that and I think they’re probably 100% correct that records weren’t kept - I worked in same hospital and chaperoned dozens of times and was rarely if ever asked my name or to sign anything to document I’d been present for intimate exams. So makes sense that if they didn’t do that for staff they won’t have for students.

They did say the hospital said it’s definitely gross professional misconduct - but all they can do about that is apologise.

The police also said there’s a permanent record of this now so if anyone ever reports anything in the future they will find my report. They also said he doesn’t work in the U.K. and is not GMC registered now.

I am so thrown though. I’m worried I’ve wasted police time, and that I got it wrong all along. I haven’t told anyone in real life in case they think I was lying - only four people know but I don’t know what to tell them if they ask. And if he did assault me he’s free to do it again, abroad where women might not be able to report so freely…

OP posts:
AGlinnerOfHope · 17/05/2024 09:42

You didn’t waste anyone’s time.
The hospital have reviewed it and assured you it was wrong. It may inform future practice- they may record the chaperones in future.

If anyone asks the answer is that it happened, the hospital and police agreed that and said it shouldn’t have, but the police aren’t able to pursue it.

You will feel a bit muddled a bit- you are revisiting an unpleasant experience. 💐

It’s not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. You have done all you can.

AGlinnerOfHope · 17/05/2024 09:44

I had a similar experience at an optician, by the way. Not particularly invasive but not great. DM was adamant I shouldn’t cause a fuss, and I was moving abroad that month so never pursued it. It had an impact though.

scarediwastedtime · 17/05/2024 10:25

Thank you, yes reliving it in lots of ways. I hadn’t thought about it in ages. It’s frustrating and saddening knowing he could do it again, and not knowing if my own experiences were really believed either.

I’ve just moved house so I don’t yet feel completely at ease where I am, I do and I don’t, and this was just the last thing I needed right now. I’m sorry you’ve been through similar too 🤗

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