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Never been on holiday as an adult.

49 replies

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 11:01

Has anyone else never been on holiday as an adult think I was around 15 when I last went on holiday. I'm now mid 40s .

OP posts:
Comedycook · 16/05/2024 13:01

I didn't go on holiday for just over a decade.... similar reasons to you op. Anyway, I've recently started going on holiday again, went to Spain last year and remembered how great it is. I think you should try and have a trip!

KateMiskin · 16/05/2024 13:01

Go now. Do not waste a moment.

KateMiskin · 16/05/2024 13:07

Sorry, OP, I meant to say please! That sounded way too bossy.

RedHelenB · 16/05/2024 13:09

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 11:51

I mean not at all. Not in home country, not for a weekend . Not abroad. Not at all.

How come?

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 13:10

Comedycook · 16/05/2024 13:01

I didn't go on holiday for just over a decade.... similar reasons to you op. Anyway, I've recently started going on holiday again, went to Spain last year and remembered how great it is. I think you should try and have a trip!

Even though I'm talking about it . I probably still won't go . Possibly in a couple of years or so. Or maybe I could start with something small.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 16/05/2024 13:10

RedHelenB · 16/05/2024 13:09

How come?

OK I've read the last post OP
Definitely go somewhere, holidays with my dc are some of my most precious times. It recharges your batteries.

Bloom15 · 16/05/2024 13:20

What do you do when you are off work OP? Sit at home or don't at least do days out?

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 13:25

Bloom15 · 16/05/2024 13:20

What do you do when you are off work OP? Sit at home or don't at least do days out?

I don't work. We do day trips etc . But never been on holiday.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 16/05/2024 13:25

But do you "do" stuff?
Like days out to local places or a visit to a museum the next town over? Does your town have summer events that you attend - like a summer party in the park type thing?

Needmorelego · 16/05/2024 13:30

@Specialneedsnana sorry we posted at the same time 🙂
So if you are doing day trips out then that's fine.
Because what's a holiday? It's just lots of day trips all in the same week.

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 16/05/2024 13:32

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 11:01

Has anyone else never been on holiday as an adult think I was around 15 when I last went on holiday. I'm now mid 40s .

what the reason

we did not for years as we did not want to live hand to mouth - only when we were in control of our mortgage and money in the bank we started off with short UK breaks

Ishagonnaland · 16/05/2024 13:34

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 13:10

Even though I'm talking about it . I probably still won't go . Possibly in a couple of years or so. Or maybe I could start with something small.

If you say possibly in a few years …. Plan what needs to happen before then, whether it’s budgeting / saving, research or getting a passport, so that’s all in place.

Dont be swayed about other folks’ idea of “holiday” …. It’s whatever combination of location, what to do, budget etc that you want. I’m currently away, on my own, 4-star all inclusive in the sun for a week - got a couple of days out planned but mainly mooching around hotel reading a book, listening to podcasts, probably watching Bridgerton later and having a few gins. But that will not necessarily be your idea of a good holiday …. The priority is time for yourself, switch off from what normal life is etc. so go to the other side of the world, or 10 minutes down the road …. Plan your days to the minute, or play it by ear.

aoirwhklzxca · 16/05/2024 13:38

That seems really odd to me, not even a weekend? You never took your kids away?

Mairzydotes · 16/05/2024 14:13

FrenchandSaunders · 16/05/2024 12:31

@Mairzydotes hasn't your 19 year old done school trips or scouts etc?

No , they never wanted to go on any trips.

honeylulu · 16/05/2024 15:54

As you don't work, I presume finance is another reason.

My mum and dad haven't been on holiday for about 20 years. My dad is very set in his ways and doesn't like being away from home. I suspect he would get an ASD diagnosis if he sought one. They live in a seaside resort anyway.

When I left home at 18 I had participated in 6 family holidays, 4 of those were UK ones, all places my dad used to go with his own parents. Two of them were in the same guest house in Scotland he stayed in as a child. Dad was never keen and all the holidays were organised with a lot of persuasion from mum. He'd get very anxious a few days before leaving and keep saying he would rather stay at home.

I remember feeling quite self conscious about the lack of holidays as we were quite well off, private school etc and our friends and their parents clearly thought it was odd that we never went anywhere. Peer pressure!

After we left home they went on a couple of extended family holidays abroad, then a couple of group holidays in the UK but I think my mum got fed up with all the effort, persuasion and moaning. My dad absolutely loved lockdown! Some people are really not bothered about holidays at all and some actively dislike them!

If you don't fancy it, there's nothing wrong with not going. Your kids don't sound like they were bothered and they can make up for it later if they want to. I certainly did, I've been on lots of holidays since I left home!

frozendaisy · 16/05/2024 16:06

Honestly OP going somewhere completely different is good for the soul

Give it a go

Specialneedsnana · 16/05/2024 16:56

honeylulu · 16/05/2024 15:54

As you don't work, I presume finance is another reason.

My mum and dad haven't been on holiday for about 20 years. My dad is very set in his ways and doesn't like being away from home. I suspect he would get an ASD diagnosis if he sought one. They live in a seaside resort anyway.

When I left home at 18 I had participated in 6 family holidays, 4 of those were UK ones, all places my dad used to go with his own parents. Two of them were in the same guest house in Scotland he stayed in as a child. Dad was never keen and all the holidays were organised with a lot of persuasion from mum. He'd get very anxious a few days before leaving and keep saying he would rather stay at home.

I remember feeling quite self conscious about the lack of holidays as we were quite well off, private school etc and our friends and their parents clearly thought it was odd that we never went anywhere. Peer pressure!

After we left home they went on a couple of extended family holidays abroad, then a couple of group holidays in the UK but I think my mum got fed up with all the effort, persuasion and moaning. My dad absolutely loved lockdown! Some people are really not bothered about holidays at all and some actively dislike them!

If you don't fancy it, there's nothing wrong with not going. Your kids don't sound like they were bothered and they can make up for it later if they want to. I certainly did, I've been on lots of holidays since I left home!

I went on holiday as a child i think I was 8-10 when we went abroad but I don't even remember it. We went on uk holidays as well . But I barely remember them either.

I do feel like it would be really stressful to try and arrange a holiday. Then I don't think I would actually feel very relaxed. I would like to feel relaxed be by a pool, nice beach blue sky etc . But I don't think it would actually happen. Not until my kids are older and have matured a bit.

My adult children have just started to do their own thing. One has been abroad a couple of times and uk a couple of times to. The other one is going on holiday soon. So I think they can definitely make up for it as adults.

OP posts:
HereILayStillAndBreathless · 16/05/2024 22:39

OldTinHat · 16/05/2024 12:24

If it helps, a neighbour in my terrace is 96. She was born in the house she still lives in, has never left the island we live on, never married or had children. In fact, she hasn't even been out of the town we live in.

She's the happiest, most sprightly and active person I know! This may be why!

Jeez. Sorry and with all due respect to your neighbour, but I'd rather not live at all. Seriously. To spend your whole life in one single place, in the same house for 96!!!! years is like a prison sentence. I can imagine (although wouldn't do) never going abroad, but moving about your own country, seeing what it has to offer, living in different places, exploring. So if it's the UK, then Scotland, Ireland, Wales, various corners of England - lots to see. But ALWAYS the same town? Worse would be only an actual prison (only marginally though).

No husband and kids - fine, that's not a problem.

EnthENd · 16/05/2024 22:45

Seems a shame. But if you're out of work I can fully understand it, benefits are a poverty income. I grew up the child of a disabled single mother and most of our holidays only happened because my father didn't pay regular child maintenance and periodically got forced to pay the arrears in a lump sum. And that was in the 90s when benefits were less miserly than they are now.

I went from 2010 to 2023 without leaving the country, but at least got to a fair few places on this island.

Blackcats7 · 16/05/2024 22:53

I was never taken on holiday except as a very young child before my mum died. Then I went to live with my hateful father and was never taken anywhere. Although he went abroad himself regularly.
My only adult holiday was with my first boyfriend so about 35 years ago.
Since then I didn’t have spare money to spend on holidays and preferred to stay with my animals anyway.

RainingAgain3 · 25/05/2024 19:17

I've never been on holiday since I was 15 either. Then my parents got split up. Life went down the drain after that really. Looking back now, kind of ended up as a young carer. But back then, it wasn't a term anyone ever used. Unemployment, caring duties, life continued to pass by. My mum had no interest in going on any holidays. Still caring for her yet in my late 30s. Even though I'm working and could afford to go away, she wouldn't want to go, and would use guilt trips if I went away, even for so much as a weekend

Op you should definitely go on a holiday! Start this year, then next year or whenever, go somewhere else. Have fun!

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 19:28

as soon as I’ve come back from one holiday the next one or 2 are booked…..just couldn’t imagine not going on holiday…..my grown kids tell me the best parts of their childhood memories are our family holidays …l both in the U.K. and abroad….and that they are making the same memories for their own children now……im guessing what you’ve never done you’ve never missed

Kitkat1523 · 25/05/2024 19:29

RainingAgain3 · 25/05/2024 19:17

I've never been on holiday since I was 15 either. Then my parents got split up. Life went down the drain after that really. Looking back now, kind of ended up as a young carer. But back then, it wasn't a term anyone ever used. Unemployment, caring duties, life continued to pass by. My mum had no interest in going on any holidays. Still caring for her yet in my late 30s. Even though I'm working and could afford to go away, she wouldn't want to go, and would use guilt trips if I went away, even for so much as a weekend

Op you should definitely go on a holiday! Start this year, then next year or whenever, go somewhere else. Have fun!

@RainingAgain3 you take your own advice too PP…. Put yourself first ….book a holiday and go on it guilt free

Favouritefruits · 25/05/2024 19:47

I honestly don’t think it’s that unusual in poorer communities. My eldest son is one of a handful that have been on holidays in his class. We live in a seaside town with a beach and it’s heartbreaking knowing how many children in our town have never been to the beach, it’s literally free and in the doorstep! It’s threads like this that amazes me how different peoples lives are within the same country, it’s shocking the comparisons.

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