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Original poster

WWYD: Team member accidently sent me a...mail

463 replies

Junestepe · 15/05/2024 21:11

WWYD: Employee accidently sent me voice note via TEAMs outlining how they were hungover in work today. They were supposedly WFH and didnt attend team meetings were uncontactable for large parts of the day, they provided excuses BUT they just accidently sent me a voice note meant for a friend detailing their hangover and elaborate cover story for not attending meetings/not working today!!!

Employee is senior, established team member who can go rouge from time time but over all is a solid performer.

WWYD: How do I handle this? Person works full time remote. I don't want to fire them...don't want to involve HR..but I want deal with this appropriately and send the correct message so the incident is never repeated. I'm a new manager so your advice appreciated! Thank you

OP posts:
Jeannie88 · 17/05/2024 19:16

Droolylabradors · 16/05/2024 07:46

Well back in the early 2000s i spent multiple days too hungover to function at my desk in the City/working from home on my prehistoric laptop and blackberry. It was pretty normal esp if we had all been out as a team.

No one ever sacked me or had words with HR.

I'd absolutely just make the point you heard it and move on. They will get the message and buck up hopefully.

I really hope this wasn't for anything important that needed attention? May I ask what sector this was? X

fetchacloth · 17/05/2024 19:17

Sapphire387 · 15/05/2024 21:13

Just write back and say 'was this meant for me?'

They'll be mortified, and will know you're on to them.

Yep, this.
In fact I've had to do just this in the past and I've received a grovelling apology for poor behaviour.

Godesstobe · 17/05/2024 19:37

LadyMarmar · 17/05/2024 18:01

I think you have to address it, otherwise he’ll assume that as a new manager you are a soft touch. So I would tell him that unless he’s genuinely ill, then if for any other reason he is not available for work, he should take it as a day off (either paid holiday or unpaid leave). You have to assert yourself as a manager and make your expextations clear. However, disciplinary or bringing in HR is an over reaction for a first offence imo.

I agree with this. You can't ignore it because it isn't ok and may turn out to be a pattern. But if it is a one off I don't think you need to go down the disciplinary route at this point. So I'd follow Lady Marmar's advice.

I'd also make sure you save the voice message and your email to your employee. And make it clear that you would take any repeat of this behaviour seriously. Then if it does to turn out to be part of a pattern you have a record of this event and your warning.

OldPerson · 17/05/2024 20:05

You need to go to HR. Especially as a new manager.

You will not get him fired, but let's face it, he needs to sit down with HR. He may well have a problem he needs support with.

And if his behaviour causes you issues in the future - just how are you going to explain not reporting it at the time?

Act responsibly and professionally. And create space between you. You do not want to get dragged down into his issues.

Tickytocky · 17/05/2024 20:32

I’d just reply with ‘hope you’re feeling better so you can make up your time’.

Assuming they owe you any time - they might be well ahead in their hours/deadlines/expectations. In which case just say ‘hope you’re feeling better, in future please be honest with me’.

Some of the replies on here 🤨

CountessWindyBottom · 17/05/2024 20:43

I've been the person who erroneously sent the message. Not necessarily in the same way exactly but there was a tendency to go rogue very periodically. I've also been the manager and I would just say that we are not infallible and all fuck up from time to time.

If this staff member is a trusted and valuable member of the team then I'd acknowledge receipt and reply with the presumption that it wasn't meant for you. Then, when they are next in work, or as soon as possible, I'd have a brief/casual chat with them about the importance of trust/showing up but that they are a valued member of staff and you know it was a one-off. Then drop it.

They're not a robot, you would have been none the wiser had the message not been sent to you and they'll be so angst ridden and mortified that you don't really need to double down about it. You need to talk to them in person and tell them you'll let it slide but just not to be getting so shitfaced and rendering themselves incapable on a school night. Cutting employees some slack will pay dividends ultimately.

Doubledenim305 · 17/05/2024 20:52

We all human. Let him know u know. And that because he's a good worker will cover him this once. But not to be repeated.
Be a friend. But not a pushover.
I like.a nice boss.

Anonymous2025 · 17/05/2024 21:11

I would deal with this professionally. I would call and tell them you are not reporting them but from now on you would prefer them to be honest than lie . If they are a valued team member then I’m sure mistakes can be overcome . I would prefer to have a chat with any of my team members than destabilising a good team . Then go from there . Assuming they will apologise then all will be ok

Teenagehorrorbag · 17/05/2024 21:25

I agree, just reply and say you don't think it's meant for you. But don't delete the message, save it somewhere in case you ever need evidence for disciplinary action in the future, if they repeat offend.

T1Dmama · 18/05/2024 00:03

I’d pull them in the office and make it known to them that you got their voice message! I would be either telling them that yesterday must be annual leave or they make the hours up!

Rottweilermummy · 18/05/2024 00:20

I think a message, along the lines of, "was this meant for me"? Let's them know you know what they are up to and if it happens again then either disciplinary proceedings or no more remote working for them

Mumtobabyhavoc · 18/05/2024 01:03

The person is probably mortified having realized they messaged their boss in error and waiting for a response. I think you have to advise them you rec'd it and then discipline is in order. It has to be. Sometimes the best employees are the worst offenders. It sucks when it's someone you like, but it comes down to trust. It would be been better to take a legit sick day.

LaraS2511 · 18/05/2024 02:50

TeaMistress · 15/05/2024 21:14

You need to involve HR and follow appropriate disciplinary processes. What you describe is gross misconduct. I know you may not want to but if you let this behaviour go unchallenged then the member of staff will think they can walk over you and get away with doing this again. You will never be able to trust them again.

Gross misconduct??!! I don’t think that would stand up in court at an employment tribunal!

IainTorontoNSW · 18/05/2024 03:43

Do a fairly short, quick reply along the lines of:

"Thanks for sharing that with me, Frank/Jim/Theo. Did you want me to notify someone up the chain of command discreetly or not?"

I'm sure he will truly go "ROUGE" [sic] when he realises you were CC or bCC to his message.

PoliteMauveFish · 18/05/2024 08:04

Can you imagine a quicker kill or cure for your hangovers than messaging your manager this message.Oh wait ?
Then leave it a bit then message I appreciate your unintentional honesty.
Not going to make this is any worse for this time.
As your record doesn’t require me telling HR this ( Only) time as we’ve all made mistakes.

PoliteMauveFish · 18/05/2024 08:18

Do you want a kill or Cure for Hangover? Imagine you sent this to Mananger ?
Then leave it for a bit then message
Appreciate honesty even in unintentional I won’t be reporting it to HR this time as your record doesn’t require me to this one and only time.

purpleshortcake2021 · 18/05/2024 09:06

chocolateisavegetable · 15/05/2024 21:28

You could reply asking if he’d like to use half a day’s annual leave for today

Was going to suggest the same

Hmm1234 · 18/05/2024 21:55

Junestepe · 15/05/2024 21:11

WWYD: Employee accidently sent me voice note via TEAMs outlining how they were hungover in work today. They were supposedly WFH and didnt attend team meetings were uncontactable for large parts of the day, they provided excuses BUT they just accidently sent me a voice note meant for a friend detailing their hangover and elaborate cover story for not attending meetings/not working today!!!

Employee is senior, established team member who can go rouge from time time but over all is a solid performer.

WWYD: How do I handle this? Person works full time remote. I don't want to fire them...don't want to involve HR..but I want deal with this appropriately and send the correct message so the incident is never repeated. I'm a new manager so your advice appreciated! Thank you

Sounds like a civil service employee? lol

BeGratefulOfGlimmers · 19/05/2024 01:40

Solid performance and hung over for a day - they’ll make it up in the evening or weekend.

we are all human - give them some slack and don’t me ‘that manager’. Have confidence to trust your staff. Although appreciate being a new you may be unsure.

Imisssleep2 · 19/05/2024 07:01

If you don't want to fire them/issue warnings formally involving HR then I think I would send them a meeting request with a subject saying to discuss the voice note you received. They will brick it till the meeting, and in the meeting you outline that it is unacceptable behaviour and attitude and unfair on the rest of the team for them to risky be absent for a day while hungover, then tell them any repeat will have football action taken. I think I would insist on the meeting being in person as well, I know they are fully remote, but if in commutable distance from the office ask them to come in, it's a privilege to work from home and it annoys me when people abuse it.

Stressedoutmammy · 19/05/2024 07:49

Is he likely to make up for it another day? If so, I would cut him some slack, as others have said, maybe respond and say something like “I don’t think that was meant for me, hope it was a good night!” Even without hangovers we all have days when we are on top form and days when we are not, so if you think overall they balance out, I think that would be enough!

MiniPumpkin · 19/05/2024 08:40

I would have a chat with them.
what would be the impact of missing the meeting?
ageee with pp saying not doing anything doesn’t give the right message. There are sadly some people who take the piss wfh. You couldnt go into the office and miss a meeting because you had a hangover

Sazza463 · 19/05/2024 09:06

chocolateisavegetable · 15/05/2024 21:28

You could reply asking if he’d like to use half a day’s annual leave for today

Agree, you should suggest they take the day as holiday!

Caththegreat · 19/05/2024 09:22

Rogue I think you mean.Oh leave them alone

Seelybee · 19/05/2024 09:36

Some of the responses on here just underline how poor the work ethic has become in this country and how WFH has encouraged it. Of course this isn't OK. As a one off doesn't need to be made a big formal thing but the person concerned needs to know it's not acceptable and not to be repeated. Otherwise what's the point of a manager?