Should I have been invited

[Gardengnome1]

Partner has a female friend from school I’ve met her once on a double date. They meet up maybe once or twice a year if he’s over her way for work. She’s got a baby with her partner and we are due a baby soon. They have arranged to meet up with the baby and she wants to give us some baby bits. He’s not over that way for work but making the 40 minute journey. I have the day of work and would have loved to have come for lunch but he hasn’t invited me. Should he have invited me I respect the fact he has is own friends and meets up with them on his own but this time it’s different he’s meeting the baby having a nice lunch.

She fancies him.

Just tell him if you want to go?

First reply 🤣

No, I wouldn't expect to be invited to lunch with someone I don't know. If she was bringing her husband then yes but not if it was just a mates catch up type thing. The dynamic is completely different.

No, this is fine, she’s a friend not an old flame. I wouldn’t like it if DP wanted to come with me to meet an old friend: it changes the dynamic.

If it's on a weekday and her partner isn't going because he's at work, and she's on maternity leave, I can see why you haven't been invited.

However, you have the day off and you and your partner are about to have a baby of your own so I think it's bizarre that you haven't been invited and if I were you I'd be upset.

If she's my partner's friend not mine I wouldn't expect an invitation. If it was her partner too then it becomes a couples lunch which is different.

I would not expect an invitation. You don’t know her. Just let him have a catch up with his friends, you’ll be in each other’s pockets soon enough when the baby comes. Do you always invite him out when you see your friends?

When I was pregnant I met up with a friend who gave me some baby bits. We had a great catch up.

When my friend was expecting a baby I met up with him to pass on some bits I had, we went out for dinner that time and had a lovely evening.

Both times there wasn’t even the suggestion of inviting partners. I think it might be a bit of the pregnancy hormones coming into play.

No, he’s meeting up with an old mate for lunch. That’s a nice thing. Let them reminisce about horrible PE teachers and dozy firm tutors etc etc in peace.

Would he be ok if you did it? That's the rule in our marriage.

This.

How on earth do you get that from the OP's post?

Forgot to add her and I have been speaking about baby’s on and off since we saw each other last. She was also invited to our wedding but couldn’t come due to how young the baby was. No we don’t live in each other’s pockets probably the complete opposite I think it’s hormones that aren’t helping I’ve been severely sick with this pregnancy and in that time he’s out4/5 nights a week with hobbies and I was at home alone. I didn’t mind at the time as all I wanted to do was sleep. I’m now feeling better and what to get out more while I work from home. I’m also currently feeling a little isolated at home as my best friends moved far away and none of my friends now live close by. I’ve found some other mum friends online but there all very new and I’ve only met up with 2 of them once.

I'm quite happy with my DH meeting his friends. I trust him and don't need to supervise.

I'd be stupid he started wsntjng yo chum me to meet my friends.

That's coming from a very insecure place.

Not necessarily. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship. Are you 'couple friends'? Like for example, dh has friends who we always seem to see as a couple. Like we typically meet up with them together. It might seem odd if he suddenly wanted to only see them alone.

But I wouldn't necessarily think dh popping over to pick up some baby bits and have a coffee with a friend was odd. It's possible he's just trying to be thoughtful and not make it a 'big event' where you both descend expecting to be entertained by a couple with a baby who might not feel like entertaining. Truly if they were trying to hook up on the sly, doing it with a baby in tow while handing off baby bits for your impending baby seems like a most unsexy way to go about an affair!

And no, honestly, I have an old (male) friend from the good ole days who got in touch recently and said he'll be travelling near me over the summer and it would be great to meet up. He's bringing his new partner. It didn't even occur to me to invite dh. Besides the childcare issues involved in us both going, it would be nicer to just meet up with him one-to-one (well, okay, except his partner is coming too but they are on holiday so would be weird to leave her at the hotel!). I can't imagine dh would ever think something weird was going on - it most certainly isn't! I can't think of anyone I would think of in that way less than this particular friend. 😂

No, I wouldn't have expected to be invited, it's just two old friends having a quick catch up and handing over some baby bits. It would be different if you knew her DH and he was coming too, maybe that will happen in future.

There's always one 🙄

So purely based on the fact they're opposite sex she must fancy him. Ffs you're either immature or insecure