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Original poster

Thanks to MN I stalked my ex and this is what happened....

97 replies

chatenoire · 15/05/2024 09:27

There's this thread going on about "where would you be if you had stayed with your first love"... So I found him on LinkedIn and clicked on his profile. TBH I thought he'd ignore me .. but instead he messaged me back and said he didn't really understand why I looked him up. I just said I was approaching 40. We exchanged a few messages about our careers but he kept going back that he hoped I found what I wanted to find. He definitely took it too deeply. He even remembered the number of years we haven't been in touch (I definitely had lost count!)

OP posts:
greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 15:42

My first answer was, that I was simply curious, but he wouldn't drop it

and you kept on responding

this is bloody weird
you look him up
he messages you
what follows is basically a mild argument
and then you start a mumsnet thread about it

weird

greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 15:42

He's FB is private

oh i bet you were disappointed!

greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 15:43

did you “stalk” him
or did you just look him up on linkedin.

it’s an odd thread title if that is the case

click bait?

JJathome · 15/05/2024 15:47

chatenoire · 15/05/2024 13:12

My first answer was, that I was simply curious, but he wouldn't drop it. So I just said something like "well I'm almost 40, so it must have been triggered by that". At some point he asked if I was satisfied because he was not a CEO, but he does have self depreciating humour, so I took it that way.

Show quote history

Do you still fancy him or something? Or hope he fancies you? You’ve obviously come over a bit dizzy at the fact you chatted. What’s really going on?

Original poster
chatenoire · 15/05/2024 15:56

greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 15:42

My first answer was, that I was simply curious, but he wouldn't drop it

and you kept on responding

this is bloody weird
you look him up
he messages you
what follows is basically a mild argument
and then you start a mumsnet thread about it

weird

It was not a mild argument. It was a hi follow by some pleasantries , then he asked again, followed by chit chat and so on and so forth. It was an OK conversation

OP posts:
greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 16:01

My first answer was, that I was simply curious, but he wouldn't drop it.

but actually he repeated the question… once?

It was a hi follow by some pleasantries , then he asked again, followed by chit chat and so on and so for

greenbeansrock · 15/05/2024 16:03

by any chance, had you had some wine when you began this “stalking” (although is looking someone up on linkedin really stalking?)

TickleMyPickle · 15/05/2024 16:09

Last year I heard on the grapevine my first long term boyfriend (over 25 years go now) had something huge medically happen to him, so I found his mums FB account to see how he was doing ( he doesn’t have an account)
From there I saw who his current partner is and now I have this strange compulsion to check her FB once a week and see what they are up to.
She posts EVERYTHING and it’s a completely open account.
would be absolutely mortified if he/she ever found out, and each time I say I’ll never look again but then I do?!

Glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2024 16:10

OMG I found my ex on Linked In but I'm not registered on it.
Will he have seen me? How embarrassing!

I don't think you did anything wrong OP.

Original poster
chatenoire · 15/05/2024 16:16

Glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2024 16:10

OMG I found my ex on Linked In but I'm not registered on it.
Will he have seen me? How embarrassing!

I don't think you did anything wrong OP.

They can't see who you are as you don't have an account

OP posts:
Glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2024 16:23

@chatenoire thank goodness! I thought maybe they would get some notification they had a stalker!

I look at him from time to time as he was so cute....like Christian Slater.
But he's fat and bald now. It was a long way to fall!

Original poster
chatenoire · 15/05/2024 16:41

Glitterbiscuits · 15/05/2024 16:23

@chatenoire thank goodness! I thought maybe they would get some notification they had a stalker!

I look at him from time to time as he was so cute....like Christian Slater.
But he's fat and bald now. It was a long way to fall!

I mean Christian Slater doesn't look great these days....

OP posts:
MelifluousMint · 15/05/2024 16:45

TickleMyPickle · 15/05/2024 16:09

Last year I heard on the grapevine my first long term boyfriend (over 25 years go now) had something huge medically happen to him, so I found his mums FB account to see how he was doing ( he doesn’t have an account)
From there I saw who his current partner is and now I have this strange compulsion to check her FB once a week and see what they are up to.
She posts EVERYTHING and it’s a completely open account.
would be absolutely mortified if he/she ever found out, and each time I say I’ll never look again but then I do?!

erm do you know that if you are looking at her account you are likely to come up as a suggested friend

Aydel · 15/05/2024 16:48

I’ve now looked up some of mine.

One’s dead.
One looks like Captain Birdseye (the old one with white hair and a beard)
One looks like he’s about to start the fight at a wedding.

So no regrets there!

childlessandfree · 15/05/2024 16:59

Your 100% happily married but yet went on the stalking for an ex says more about you.

Does your husband know about it?
What if he went looking up and texting his ex.

examsexamsexamsexams · 15/05/2024 17:01

Just panicked and checked my linked in profile- phew!
Doesn't everyone look up ex's, past crushes, school friends etc etc? I know all my friends do and we're all happily married!

LittleMonks11 · 15/05/2024 17:04

Let me guess: he ended things.

Original poster
chatenoire · 15/05/2024 17:05

childlessandfree · 15/05/2024 16:59

Your 100% happily married but yet went on the stalking for an ex says more about you.

Does your husband know about it?
What if he went looking up and texting his ex.

a) he knows about it, didn't think much about it
b) he does have communication with all of his exes (3) every now and then. I don't feel threatened at all

OP posts:
earther · 15/05/2024 17:07

Strange really because if the partner or husband looks up exs hes wrong.
And mumsnett will have a thread about it ive read some of them.
I dont look up my ex 1 their an ex for areason2 they caused me to much pain and drama in the past 3 why waste my good time on them now.

Original poster
chatenoire · 15/05/2024 17:07

LittleMonks11 · 15/05/2024 17:04

Let me guess: he ended things.

No, it was actually my parents (so to speak).

I ended up marrying the man of my dreams, so I'm not bothered in that sense.

OP posts:
Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 15/05/2024 17:10

Im confused. What is the point of this thread.
You contacted someone from years ago, he was a bit baffled.

Why did you need to tell us that?

Mirabai · 15/05/2024 17:12

Yellowbananasarebetterthangreen · 15/05/2024 17:10

Im confused. What is the point of this thread.
You contacted someone from years ago, he was a bit baffled.

Why did you need to tell us that?

IKR and she still hasn’t added the t to her username.

OpusGiemuJavlo · 15/05/2024 17:12

Latenightreader · 15/05/2024 09:40

I didn’t realise that LinkedIn told people who was looking at their profile! I’ve never had an account but have certainly looked at people’s profiles as much as you can without logging in and wondered about signing up to see more. Will definitely not be doing so now - I usually look at work contacts to find out more, but have occasionally had a nosy at people I knew years ago.

You're ok @Latenightreader - the feature OP was caught out by is optional. If you want to know who looks at your profile you have to consent to let LinkedIn tell other people that you looked at theirs. If you want to snoop anonymously you can, but you then don't know who snoops on you.

hotcoffeebeans · 15/05/2024 17:12

What an odd thread .
I dont think id be very happy with my husband staying in contact with all his exs not threatened but id have a bit of why.
I dont think he would want me stalking my exs either.
Their all in the past now.

pizzaHeart · 15/05/2024 17:13

CutthroatDruTheViolent · 15/05/2024 09:48

For a site where so many people seem obsessed with knowing who's at the door, why is that person walking past my house, I don't really understand why people think it's odd to look up and old flame? Sure it was stupid to not do it incognito but it's not the end of the world.

Yes to this^
of course people google and look up new and old acquaintances, the price of their houses on RM, their family photos on FB. Some do more, some do less. It’s just human curiosity.