Please help, awful situation and have no idea what to do

[Implodedsuddenly]

My life feels a massive mess right now and I honestly don't know what to do.
We were relocating in order to get our son in a suitable school. A massive move for us, 4 hours away. He is autistic and this school was perfect. A small independent school for autistic boys.

Our other son was going to the other 'normal' independent school which is part of the same group. Our eldest son was going to the local sixth form college.
My husband and I had both secured jobs to start in September and we have bought a house in the new location.

6 weeks ago, the special school failed ofsted very miserably and as a result, cannot take new kids. Bit of a disaster but, the other independent school said they could take him until the special school can let new children in again.

On Monday, we have been told the 'normal' independent school is closing down at thr end of term due to financial issues and the special school is at risk of closure too!! There is absolutely no other suitable school in the area for them, particularly our autistic son.

I feel like the world around me has imploded. Our only option would be to home school our autistic son and possibly the other one. This would mean one of us giving up our job and being really skint and it's not what they want anyway.

We also own a house 4 hours away that we can't move in to and tied into a 5 year mortgage (we'd have to pay to end it early) 😪 I just can't believe it. We moved into a bloody small but expensive rental where we currently live to tide us over the last 6 months when the house sale went through. Now all our money is tied up in a house 4 hours away 😪

To make matters worse, our eldest son was so looking forward to the move and starting sixth form somewhere new. Any mention of staying round here and he loses his mind. This breaks my heart as he was so excited 😪

I feel that whatever we do, we will upset someone. If we move, we have 2 boys without a school but the eldest is happy. We'd also be skint.
If we don't move, we'd have to fight the EHCP for a suitable placement, but the other 2 boys have a school/sixth form and we have our jobs still. The eldest son however is refusing to go to our current local sixth form as he wanted to 'start again'. But, we're in a shit rented house and all our money is tied 4 hours away.

I have the permanent shakes and haven't eaten for days. I feel absolutely beside myself. There is no good option here.

What the hell do we do? About all of it? 😪

@Mumofteenandtween LAs are not able to place a child/young person with an EHCP in a school that has an inadequate OFSTED.

Can you solve the 'easy' problems first? If you move, jobs are sorted, house is sorted, eldest DC is sorted. Middle DC sounds relatively easy, if you're just looking for a 'normal' school, is there another one for him, even if it's state for now, that would be ok.

Once all of those problems are solved then you just have one (albeit big) problem, but you could put all of your energy into sorting youngest DC then knowing that everything else is ok. Good luck!

Thanks everyone.

So yes, there'd be a sixth form for the eldest, but no schools for the youngest 2. It's a rural area and whilst the state school could possibly accommodate our non-autistic son, it's a really poor performing school.

Where we love currently, the state school is good.

Where we live currently there are a few options for our autistic son (special schools) but they weren't as good as the one that's failed ofsted (OK that sounds iornic considering it's failed ofsted but the feeling of it was incredible, outdoor learning etc). It's failed for multiple reasons but one is poor academic teaching where lots is just done online.

So our options really are:

1. Move

-sixth form for eldest

• no current school for youngest 2

-special school might not go bankrupt and if ofsted improves, might allow autistic son in -we both have new jobs in the new area but 1 of us would have to give up work to home school -No family support to help us with the home schooling mission -reduced to 1 income, which would make things tight

1. Stay

-sixth form for eldest but he's not happy about it. Although have investigated 1 which is an hour away by train that he likes. -potential schools for younger 2 -currently renting and would own a house 4 hours away -would need to sell house 4 hours away and lose money -could port mortgage if we found a house in a decent time frame here -both our jobs are still secure (no notices handed in yet)

I just feel sick, it feels all too much to deal with. But I have at least stayed to eat a bit again and managed to sleep last night

In your position I would also add into that decision looking for:

Location 3
Good schools for all three children that match their needs
Adults start again with job hunting but one could stay behind temporarily during the week to keep earning whilst this happens
Rent a home whilst looking for a new one, port mortgage at that point.