True story at the breast clinic 😂

[dahliadraws]

remembered today when I had to go to the breast clinic - as an obese women with absolutely no uplift left in her old boobs whatsoever.

they left me to get changed and gave me a single sheet to cover up my boobs - only it wouldn’t. as I lay flat the boobs each went their own opposite way. like a pair of old tights laid out to dry on a pommel horse

should I

1. use the sheet in the middle of my chest and let both nips / breast hang to either side?
2. cover up one boob and leave the one hanging free?
3. just lay there with no sheet like a psychopath
4. tuck both knockers under sheet and hold them one in each hand so they remained upright

please note there was no way of using arms to gracefully try and push them centre ward under sheet, god knows I tried

this was a few years ago now but I am laughing remembering. I am wondering what everyone else would choose in your panicked - do I have breast cancer state, knowing the staff could pop back any second … what option would you pick 😂

I spend most of my smear tests or similar wondering whether socks should stay on or off… better than tuning in to what’s actually going on down there I suppose.
I think I had Mickey Mouse ones on for one appointment and it seemed slightly inappropriate - I am absolutely taking this seriously please don’t judge me by my socks. Barefoot seems wrong too, like too much effort has been made.

My breasts are fantastically evocative 😉

Absolutely socks on, I'm still having 6 month check ups after cervical cancer.
I always keep my socks on, the more sparkly, cute or daft sayings the better. It gives the staff something to chat about 😀

Reminds me of a massage where when she came to do my arms she first performed a kneading dough manoeuvre to get my boob out my armpit.

I went for an ultrasound forgetting I would have to roll my trousers down
Was wearing knickers with words all over them
By words I mean twat, fuck, cock...

This reminds me of taking my son to the Dr's aged about 12 and he had to roll down his waistband, showing his boxers waistband which had BAWBAGS written all the way round...

Didn't you listen to your mothers telling you to always have nice knickers on in case you went to hospital ? So lovely knickers, tits out . Or drape cloth over neck and tuck under each boob. Wear nice blue knickers and it will look like a match.

Option 6 ask for a (much) bigger sheet 😂😂😂😂😂😭😭

Except who the heck dries their tights on gymnastics equipment?

I must remember this. I always wear skirts (or dresses) so I am in tights and have to take them off for the gynaecologist, and always worry that my feet pong (as they're right to his face, and I've been at work all day then 1 and a half hours of sweaty commute to rush to the appointment). I must remember to go in trousers and socks next time.

There’s an element of this in the hospital, when we’re giving a patient a bed bath, I’ve just hoyed their boobs all over their chest to get in all the crevices and then I delicately cover them up with a towel straight after

Isn't that its primary purpose? Same as stationary bikes and cross-trainers?

I also had this dilemma OP! But a different option presented itself - the handkerchief they give you floated off me and on to the floor. I didn't know if I should get up and retrieve but as it was like covering a haystack with a napkin i didnt bother.

I love this. I am also part of the large breast club.

When I had my mammography in January I actually was relieved to see that the nurse had a similar size bust so I felt a lot less consious.

We actually had a good giggle about the way to sort them out to get decent pictures.

As I gave birth stark naked and all attempts of the midwife to cover me up (I had to come out of the pool to finish off on dry land) resulted in my throwing off the sheet everytime she put it over me until DH told her to give up and just let me stay naked, I am sure most health care professionals have seen everything anyway.

I had a friend who had massive boobs. She made me really laugh describing sawing wood and her 'bosoms clapped along her efforts'

Option 7 - lie on your front and use the sheet to cover your arse.

Isn't that its primary purpose? Same as stationary bikes and cross-trainers?
The flaw in that theory is that whereas the latter may be found in spare bedrooms, I doubt the former are.

This is so funny

I like a challenge.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Sadly I'm not sufficiently well endowed to be able to add to the suggestions but wanted to say Best Thread Ever.