Is this abuse?

[justforthis24]

I have name changed for this, and as cliché as it sounds, this is about a friend not me, but I'm not sure where to post.

I am looking for a reality check, and any advice.

This person is close to me and I know them extremely well. Husband and wife situation they have 2 daughters. The wife is the questionable abuser.

It is considered abuse if one person constantly threatens the other with, taking their children away, throwing them out, threatening and actually punishing them by cancelling celebrating life milestones, publicly humiliating the other, blaming the other for anything and everything being wrong, overreacting to minor issues, shaming the other for inadequacies in the bedroom, creating tests and declaring them failed, deliberately telling the children the other is useless, or is to blame? There doesn't appear to be a physical side to this, but given all of the above happens in plain sight and in public, who knows what happens behind closed doors.

If this is considered abuse, what can someone do to help?

Contact Women's Aid, or your local DA centre run by your council, or speak to your GP who can signpost you to the relevant help, including therapy.

https://refuge.org.uk/i-need-help-now/how-to-identify-abuse/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/

This would be for a man though, everything seems to be aimed at support for women specifically.

This is absolutely emotional abuse and abuse can happen from any gender to any gender. I don't have any resources to offer, but commenting to bump this. You're a good friend for watching out.

So you didn't actually read the links I sent you?

The first was explaining what constitutes abuse as you didn't seem to understand what it was.

The second had a link for a specific mens abuse line (plus others which could help), as well as explaining abuse, despite it having Women's in the title. Go to the bottom of the page, there's about five, including a search button for local help.

However both will direct him to the relevant help, whatever his sex, as their main aim is to help abuse victims.

From the Women's Aid page:
Many of the services listed in our directory also support male survivors so you select these services using the search criteria. Please note that our directory will only show services for men where a service is also provided for women. For a list of all support for men available call the Men’s Advice Line or Live Free From Fear Helpline in Wales.

I did have a read through, the signs to look for, there are definitely some of them, although not all, from what I know. I did admittedly miss the Men's help line at the bottom of the page on the second link, but thanks