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Keep being asked 'are you pregnant' after 4 miscarriages

5 replies

iamnott · 13/05/2024 16:54

As the title says really, we started TTC in November 2022 and unfortunately had 4 miscarriages all at different stages before 12 weeks. Now, I've been quite open with my miscarriage journey as I know how lonely it can be but I can't stand it when people ask 'are you pregnant again yet?' Because I will tell you when I'm ready if I am. There's one person in particular that's asked me this 3x since my last loss which was in January this year, it was in work & she called me over and said 'can I ask you something?.,, are you pregnant yet?' I was like 'uhh, I wish but no I'm not. Why?' And she said 'just wondering' and I made a joke 'do I look it? I did eat a lot of junk last night' and she looked me up and down really judgy and went 'eh, you do sort of' I just said well no I'm not and walked off I didn't know what to say. I have said to them to stop asking me but they don't listen & ask anyway 💀 what would you do in this situation? Luckily I'm quite laid back and I don't get emotional over it but they could say it to the wrong person one day

OP posts:
KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup · 13/05/2024 16:57

That is so rude op, I would have struggled not to be very rude back...
I'm sorry for your struggles, life is shit sometimes ☹️

Newnamesameoldlurker · 13/05/2024 16:59

That is horrific OP!! It's good you don't let it affect you but I would absolutely push back on intrusive questions like that. Let that awful person know in no uncertain terms how inappropriate they're being.
I'm so sorry for your losses- hoping you get your rainbow baby very soon x

thehurtingheart · 13/05/2024 17:00

So sorry for your losses, I have been there and it is so heartbreaking!

Regarding this colleague I think after you've already asked them not to ask and they continue pushing that boundary I think I'd snap and say "mind your business" or words to that effect 🙈

Peonies12 · 13/05/2024 17:08

That's incredibly rude and inappropriate, in any situation but particularly in your situation. Sorry for your losses and that you have to be around anyone who thinks it's OK to ask that. If you feel like you can, I'd be quite blunt in response, and tell them it's none of their business and it's not OK to ask that. If you've asked them before, or it continues, I'd serious consider reporting to HR or their boss.

Iwantamarshmallowman · 13/05/2024 17:08

no I am not pregnant. please do not ask me this again. I find it very strange that you keep asking me this. what do you hope to gain by repeatedly asking me if I am pregnant?

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