I feel so gross

[Squigglewigglediggle]

I am embarrassed to write this but my mental health has been really bad lately and I am physically a mess.

What do you do when you just have total overwhelm and don't know where to start?

My hair is somehow greasy, frizzy and dry almost immediately after I wash it - which when I'm low feels like the hardest job in the world. My skin is grey, saggy and blemished. I'm gaining weight due to some new medication so none of my clothes fit nicely and I don't have any budget to really invest in anything new. I have been trying to eat healthier/drink water but honestly it seems to make no difference I just look like a troll.

I was thinking of popping into Superdrug today and picking up maybe one nice thing to "treat" myself but it feels like throwing money down the loo as I feel I'm way past slapping some moisturiser on. I'm actively avoiding mirrors in my house and just don't know where to start - I feel like I'll never be happy with how I look again and it's just going to get worse. I really never thought of myself as vain or image obsessed, I'd just like to feel less insecure about looking like a massive slob who's just given up.

Please share any little things that you do that make you feel better when you feel less than great.

Don't be embarrassed, it's actually a massive, and amazing, step to take to you acknowledge things are bad, and then ask for help, so we'll done 💐

My advice would be choose a battle rather than try and solve everything at once.

Personally I would go for hair first. Can you treat yourself to a deep conditioning treatment? They have lots to suit most budgets, sometimes you can pick up a lovely treatment for about a fiver.

Have you got any moisturiser around the house already, even aqueous creme would do, use it regularly and it will start making you feel better.

For blemishes, my dd is quite prone, and hasn't had an outbreak since she started using head and shoulders shampoo to wash her face with, there's an active ingrediant that can help apparently.

Try and continue with the healthy eating as well, it will start making a difference, if you're like me you'll refuse one piece of chocolate and expect to lose 3 stone 🤣 but unfortunately its a longer process than that, and you'll start seeing results.

Good luck op 💐

I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, when I’m feeling low and a mess I have a bath with lovely bubble bath put on a face and hair mask, exfoliate with the mitts and use a nice body lotion and use a foot cream so I feel good all over - even if I’m just getting into clean pjs rather than going out. Superdrug have a really good range that doesn’t break the bank. Xxx

I know it's not for everybody but exercise works for me. It makes me concentrate on what my body can do instead of what it looks like. I got a new personal best on my 5km run yesterday and my face was bright red(like I didn't know it could go that red!) and sweaty but I felt on top of the world. Exercising has done my confidence the world of good, it has made me feel so much more capable.

It might just be in my head but I swear since I started exercising I have more of a glow about me(not just a red one), it's also had the side effect of me improving my nutrition because I want to perform better. I have a chronic illness that means I have to work around my good days and bad so it's not all light and fluffy but I do feel 100% better than I did starting out in January when I could only run for 5mins.

I REALLY want to start exercising as I think it would help. It sounds so stupid but I currently don't have any suitable running shoes (I live in boots) - they are definitely on my to get list. I have chronic illness too so it's really good to hear you make it work around good/bad days - I'm so glad it's been such a positive move for you.

Thank you so much to everyone that's replied, really kind responses with some good suggestions. I do struggle to "get going" a lot of the time so someone giving me some starter suggestions is really helpful.

I find having a long bath, filled with scents, shave if you like, let the pores on your face open, I sometimes put a face mask on beforehand and wash it off in the bath.

Put leave on conditioner in, really helps the frizzy hair.

Then body lotion all over, cleanse pores, face moisturizer. And whilst you might not look different in the mirror you feel lighter, body is relaxed from bath heat and body lotion massage and you think we'll I might not look great right now but smell amazing.

Pumice your feet as well.

For me it’s body scrubs. I like the sugar ones used with gloves. Absolutely nothing makes me feel better than that! It’s like scrubbing the grossness off me 😂

Sit with a cup of tea, some nice relaxing music on and soak your feet in a bowl of warm soapy water. Then put clean fresh socks on. Feels great

Try a yoga on YouTube? No shoes needed and some of them are a short as 5minutes. Adrianne for example has some really relaxing short ones that always help me feel a bit better.

These are some of the things that work for me and I find easy to do:

Get one of those hydration apps and set a water goal that's a little higher than you need. Fill your favourite, most fun-looking water bottle with water or if the thought of washing it out is daunting, get a disposable one you can chuck out when it starts to look manky. I go for 750ml bottle size and drink one bottle in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the evening (but if you're worried about getting up all night, you can adjust to maybe a litre in the morning and a litre in the afternoon).

Go for a light walk each day and ideally pair it with an errand or a little reward like going window shopping or picking up a snack. If the sun is shining, take a little longer or walk a little more slowly. Greenery is very good for you so if you have a park nearby, go there.

Heavy duty moisturisers and body butters can be an absolute game-changer if you have dry or eczema-prone skin and if you get the right products they are way better than anything medicated.

Dry shampoo might be a good investment and you can get some lovely scented ones if you shop around. Getting your hair chemically lightened can also take the edge off the grease if you a) feel inclined to do it anyway and b) are OK with a bit of extra hair care, but it might not be such a good idea if your hair is already frizzy. Might be better to schedule an appointment with the hairdresser and see what she suggests.

Find a leafy green herb or vegetable that you love. Parsley, rocket, watercress, coriander. Buy a bag of it and treat yourself to a snack. If you crave chocolate, try and go for dark (like 95%+) chocolate -- it takes a bit of getting used to but it tastes SO satisfying and a lot less sickly.

There are some really useful apps that overlay timers on your other apps, which had an immediate psychological impact on the way I saw my phone use. If you worry you spend a bit too much time on your phone then this is very handy and makes you feel better almost instantly!

Set your alarm for an hour earlier than usual and go for a walk each morning. Gentle exercise, fresh air and the sound of birdsong should help your mood.
Then make a nice cuppa and start your day off with a list of small things that would make a difference to you and make you feel better. Then do them.
Treat yourself kindly OP. Baby steps. 💐

Buy yourself a bunch of flowers.

I would have never suggested this before, thinking it would be a massive pain, but, doing your own Gel nails.
I bought a machine and a few gel polishes and I did my toenails last night, and it felt like quite the accomplishment!
Today, I even took off a few because they were a bit smudged, I was worried about the faff but I just soaked a cotton pad in remover and left it on the nail for a bit and off it came. It's saving me money (thought I've never had it done professionally before anyway) but also making me feel capable!

I know this sounds silly, but just to tiny things eg adding 2 extra portions of Veg every day: eg some carrot sticks and hummus and some extra chopped cucumber. It makes you feel healthier and like you’re making an effort with your health.

Then also getting outside and walking, but not too much if you’re not doing anything already. 20 mins more than you’re doing now, but every day.

Just make some small changes, so that it’s not too overwhelming and make a new, small goal each week.

Then start to make a list of the changes you’ve made so you can see that you’re making progress.

Simple things to make yourself feel nicer are painting your nails, having a bath and moisturising afterwards or getting a hair treatment eg olaplex.

I have hypothyroidism & a Vit D deficiency and I really struggle with weight and stuff. Used to run until 2 years ago when I had a really bad Plantar Fasciitis injury and have not ran since. Put on 3 stone, feel like a blob and really down. The end is in sight now though and I should be able to start back up in 6 months, so am holding onto that.

Exercise may be a winner for you, even if it's a cheap step aerobic DVD type thing in your living room, or skipping x