Social skills groups for kids

[Dukesmeadow]

Hi all,

Just wondering if anyone on here has experience with social skills group for kids and whether they are useful.

My 6.5 yo had an assessment with an Ed psychologist recently and she picked up on her social skills needing some help. To give you some background, I suspect DD has some form of ND but the Ed psychologist didn't think she'd meet the criteria for either ADHD or ASD at this point. However she is very very chatty, interrups people, overconfident with adults, doesn't quite understand what's appropriate in various situations. Perfect at school though, so she does follow all the rules, she's very polite, generous, kind and a good listener.

I do see she's very different to a typical 6 yo in the way she talks and interacts and I suspect she'll start struggling when she's older. At the moment she does have a few friends.

Any clubs like rainbows, brownies, drama/ art groups?

Looking for this too for ND 10yo. Lots of similarities to your 6yo. I think they don't learn social skills the way other children do so need a more definite and explicit way to learn and practice.

She does drama at school and she enjoys it. Never heard of rainbow/brownies clubs?

@Dukesmeadow do you live in the UK?

Can I ask you if she/he has been diagnosed with anything yet? DD has been masking so well, we had no signs that she might be ND until very recently.

We do, we live in London x

Then there will be rainbows and brownies groups very close to you. I agree with PP that they can be really useful for social skills. They're a lot more free play than most extra curricular activities but still a supportive semi structured environment.

My DD is a bit like this. She is funny though as sometimes very overconfident and other times very quiet with new people. We bumped into a work colleague of mine and she told him his tummy was sticking out of his shirt; this was directly after being introduced.

I know school had a programme they did with her as she used to struggle with the conventions of saying hello and goodbye. This did help and it had improved, but at age 10 she will still say what she thinks. I don't want to squash this too much as it's part of her character but at the same time it does border on offensive.

Logically, she has not been introduced to many people, so it is not a situation she is often in. I am not sure clubs help as it sounds like your dd needs practice directly on certain skills. I notice my dd can come across as rude but it's directly related to discomfort if she's in a new situation.

Not sure of the answer - would ask school, but also interested to hear of other ideas!

Thank you, I'll look into that x

Brownies is a possiblity

www.girlguiding.org.uk/what-we-do/brownies/

Woodcraft folk also run similar groups

woodcraft.org.uk

Drama groups that offer Lamda exams and Youth Theatre were great for my DDs general confidence and social and language skills. Look at your local theatre and see if they have groups for young children. Our local theatre had four categories , Tiny , Young , Junior and Senior. These groups were much cheaper than the stage school type companies like Theatre Train.

Also cubs and rainbows plus any sort of martial art class is good.

Thank you for your reply, that made me laugh as it's the kind of stuff DD would say 😁.

I'm waiting for the full written report and then speak to the school. The Ed psychologist will probably make some recommendation to the school but not sure how much support there is in this area.

Thank you. DD's school will have Lamda classes from Y2, I'm hoping she can join. Her confidence is very high generally, she'll go on stage on any magic/theatre show with no problems in front of a huge audience but then she'll babble away lots of irrelevant stuff between answering the questions, bless her. And doesn't quite understand when it's time to leave or stop talking.

Beavers or scouts also worth a look.

I did look into that but all of them around here have huge waiting lists, a friend of mine managed to get her son in after a 2 year wait.

A speech and language therapist who specialises in social communication issues may be able to help.

My son worked with one for about a year.

Also look at things like Cubs. She will be eligible to join when she's 7, I believe. Though there is something that comes before Cubs (Beavers?). We don't have one in our area, but they do exist.

Really though instead of thinking about finding a group to improve her social skills, I'd focus on fostering her friendships in her existing communities and getting her involved in something she loves (so she can find like minded friends over a shared interest). Do you invite friends round from school for a playdate? She's old enough to have playdates that don't involve parents coming along at this age, so there will be parents who'd love their dc entertained for a few hours.

And then I think getting her involved in an activity she enjoys. What does she love? Horses? Art? Science? Martial arts? I'd find something she's keen on to find like minded friends.

The school might have something similar, you could ask about. Before my DD was diagnosed she went to a school group where they did a task together, so making sandwiches and having to ask each other to pass things, communicate about what they were doing etc.

However, she is only 6 and it sounds as if she is just learning her way. Some kids are shy and approach learning to be social from the other direction, whereas you are coming from the "too much" side. Nobody is born fully formed and the things she is doing sound entirely normal for a 6yo, all the kids I've known like this have grown out of it as they are exposed to more people, read books etc with normal interactions. 6-8 is prime "me, me, me" age, they all talk like "I have a dog," "I have a cat it's called Coco," "I like hot chocolate ore than Cocoa..." "I had a chocolate cake for my birthday..."

Nobody is really listening past the one word they can hang their own experience on to butt in with.

It might be best for you to go on some school trips and things to see what kids are like at this age, it will put your mind at rest.

Thank you for your advice. I do agree that kids at this age are all a bit like that, but I do see she's very different to her peers. I have volunteered at the school, went on a few school trips and can't help but notice how 'odd' she is compared to her classmates.

She does have some other unusual behaviours like crossing her eyes/mild hand flapping and jumping around when she gets excited, pacing up and down talking to herself, and I think overall she behaves like a much younger child. She can be sensible and mature and smart but it's quite rare these days.
Irritatingly silly too, always wants to joke, joke and another joke. It's relentless.

Thank you, I'll look into that. She never had speech problems, early talker, and was very articulate as a younger child but I don't think she's as articulate now, which is very strange.

Thank you. She loves art and goes to an art club in the holidays, that's her favourite thing but she has no friends she goes with, just socialises with whoever is there.

Beavers would be great for this.

Also team sports

Your local groups will likely have Facebook pages.

www.scouts.org.uk/beavers/

What team sports as these would also involve training drills where they have to wait to take their turn and work in pairs or small groups. And the team building aspect (if the coaches are good and encourage all children) would be great for building relationships.