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Original poster

Just ran over and killed a cat

57 replies

Herts501 · 13/05/2024 10:48

I've just run over and killed a neighbours cat and I'm distraught!

I'd just dropped my son off at nursery, turned into my road and saw a ginger cat run across so slowed down then felt my car go over something. I hadn't seen anything in the road but then when I looked in my rear view mirror I saw a tabby cat lying in the road fitting then it stopped moving and had obviously died. It must have run out after the first cat. I didn't see it at all.

I went and knocked on the nearest door in floods of tears and the lady there knew the owner who lived over the road. We both went to tell her and it was absolutely awful.

I feel like I need to do something to help somehow; should I send a card and flowers or something?

OP posts:
EdnaAlGaib · 13/05/2024 10:56

I just wanted to say it was so lovely of you to tell someone this happened - so many people wouldn’t. I’m sure the owner would appreciate a card or flowers if you wanted to send them xx

burninglikefire · 13/05/2024 10:56

You poor, poor thing. I don't know what to suggest but saw you had no replies yet and wanted to offer you my sympathy - this must have been so awful for you.

ELDV · 13/05/2024 10:57

You poor thing. That must have been horrible. It’s upsetting but sounds like you were very good with the owner. Sometimes these things happen and you really can’t help it. Maybe some flowers could be nice even if you mustn’t feel like it was your fault as such, somethings it’s unavoidable.

gamerchick · 13/05/2024 10:57

Ah OP take a squeeze. These things happen, it's one of the things you take on when you let cats outside to roam. You went to own up so the owner wasn't wondering what happened.

Not sure what you could do. Offer to pay for a cremation or something? I probably wouldn't send a card or flowers. Just a reminder sitting there then.

Devilshands · 13/05/2024 10:58

I wouldn’t send flowers or anything tbh - doing so would be to make yourself feel better, and it’s not about you (nicely).

thanKyouaIMee · 13/05/2024 10:59

Oh no that must have been terrible! The fact you stopped and went to find the owners says so much about you, as a cat owner that would make a huge difference to me. Some flowers may be a nice touch, or a card. However as an owner I'd just be happy that you'd come to tell me when it happened, rather than leave them there, especially if you were clearly upset too (because it would be clear it was totally unintentional).

LadyGrillingSole · 13/05/2024 11:00

Oh, I'm so sorry you had to go through something so upsetting 😞

You shouldn't blame yourself, this could have happened to anyone. If it was me I'd just send a card.

This is (one of the reasons) why cats shouldn't be allowed to roam.

amicissimma · 13/05/2024 11:00

As you've told her, and presumably apologised, I'd be inclined to leave it.

Naturally you're not her favourite person right now and there's a chance seeing/hearing from you again would make her feel worse.

Mammma91 · 13/05/2024 11:01

You poor thing, it’s understandable you feel awful but these things happen unfortunately. I have 3 outdoor cats (with full access to the house 24/7 through a flap on the door). You’ve done what you could, nothing will change what’s happened but I’m sure the owner appreciated you coming forward. You sound genuinely remorseful. I know I’d be devastated if it was one of mine, but I wouldn’t blame you.

FranticFrankie · 13/05/2024 11:03

So good of you to go to tell the owner; traumatic for all concerned
I wish someone has come to tell us when they ran over my cat; he was badly injured and went to hide in a neighbour’s garden (neighbour informed us) and nothing the vet could do.
Heartbroken -he was a lovely boy

KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup · 13/05/2024 11:07

What an awful shock op ☹️

I think leave it for today and tomorrow and just look after yourself. Distraction and tea and gentleness until the initial adrenaline calms.

I would lean towards just leaving it, but it would depend on the reaction of the owner once I could calmly assess it. Maybe in a few days approaching the other neighbour whose door you knocked on to ask after the owner considering they are friendly? Shows you are thinking of her without actually intruding. But don't worry about that today. ☕

Wheelbarrowbabe · 13/05/2024 11:16

You've done everything you need to do by letting the owner know straight away. There is nothing left to do but look after yourself. What a horrible thing to happen, it wasn't your fault. I am a cat owner and I recognise that if my cat gets run over that's on me for letting him out. It's a decision I'm happy with and I would never hold the driver to blame if that was to happen or expect anything from them.

Theladybirdthatheard · 13/05/2024 11:17

Thank you for stopping and knocking on doors until you found the owner.

Our lovely cat died in much the same way around Christmas time, the person did not stop and I cannot tell you how furious it still makes me to think of them just driving off with no regard for her or us.

After she passed we received a condolences card from our vet with a sheet of paper containing wild flowers seeds to grow in her memory. I found that quite touching. Maybe a similar idea for your neighbour?

35965a · 13/05/2024 11:18

I think it was really good you made the effort to find the owner, so many people just wouldn’t. Maybe, if you feel like it, drop a condolences card through her letterbox.

wandawaves · 13/05/2024 11:24

Oh you poor thing. I have done this too a few months ago and it was awful.
Black cat ran out at night straight in front of my car. I saw him in my mirror continue to run off the road, so i was hoping maybe a broken leg or something at worst, but my the time I turned around, he'd only managed to get up onto the footpath, and died. I wrapped him up in a towel that was in my car, and took him to the vet hospital so they could hopefully scan him. I held it all together until I handed him to the nurse, and she asked if I was ok, and then I just burst into tears! I felt awful for weeks, wondering if the family was still looking for him or not.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. It was an accident. I wouldn't worry about flowers or anything, you have apologised in person, which i think is enough.

Pixiesgirl · 13/05/2024 11:29

That must have been so traumatic, so sorry Flowers].

I don't think it's up to you to do anything. These things happen Sad

urbanbuddha · 13/05/2024 11:32

Devilshands · 13/05/2024 10:58

I wouldn’t send flowers or anything tbh - doing so would be to make yourself feel better, and it’s not about you (nicely).

I agree.
Make a donation to Cats Protection instead.

Netflixreject · 13/05/2024 11:33

I have had cats run over before. What made a huge difference to me was the cat being brought to me when it had been run over so you will already have helped the owner massively. One of my cats was just left lying and it made it so much harder to process emotionally.
You did the right thing and it was just an accident, please don't feel you have to do anything more x

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 13/05/2024 11:35

You did the right thing. I wouldn’t do anything else tbh.

It’s sad for the owner but to be honest it’s the risk you take when you let a cat roam all over. It’s literally the reason I don’t have one - live near a busy road, remember the heartbreak of losing cats in this way from when I was a child, and don’t want to put my kids through the same anguish.

fluffiphlox · 13/05/2024 11:38

Leave it. You’ve done the right thing in telling them. It ran out, you didn’t kill it.

TryingToSeeTheFunnySide · 13/05/2024 11:43

You poor poor soul Flowers
A tragic accident. Not your fault in any way, shape or form.
I'm an animal lover, and so totally understand how you must feel.
It was so kind and brave of you to stop and seek out the cat's human. Bless you.
You take lots of care x

GasPanic · 13/05/2024 11:50

Don't worry about stuff you can't change. Do stuff about things you can.

Maybe make a small donation to the local homeless cat place if you feel you want to make amends to cat-society.

Nsky62 · 13/05/2024 11:52

You did the right thing, tho I’d be gutted to lose my cat

Original poster
Herts501 · 13/05/2024 12:47

Thank you so much for all of your replies, they have given me some reassurance and comfort x

OP posts:
SallyWD · 13/05/2024 13:22

Oh how awful. OP - if this happened to my cat I would be devastated. He's such a big part of my life and so loved. However, I wouldn't blame you. I know that accidents happen and you'd be feeling awful so I'd try and reassure you.