Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Guy I Like Has Bad Breath

18 replies

BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 19:57

I'm an unmarried 39 year old. I have a 50 something-ish unmarried male friend/neighbour who is extremely kind, decent, respectful and also physically attractive for his age.
Please don't take this as superficial or cruel but we went on a date a few years ago but I wasn't attracted to him as his breath just didn't smell nice. He always appears clean and well dressed but I sometimes notice this stale breath when I talk to him on the street so it wasn't a once off.
We are due to meet for coffee again (only as friends) but I find it such a pity that such a small matter can put a damper on things. I know we all have bad days when we might have bad breath but for it to be continuous makes it hard to look at someone romantically.
Would this be a deal breaker for you?

OP posts:
ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 19:59

It would be, I'm afraid.

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 20:01

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 19:59

It would be, I'm afraid.

Yes, it's such a pity. Don't know if there is a way I could say it to him. How he doesn't cop it himself is strange. Maybe no-one was ever blunt with him.

OP posts:
Mosaic123 · 12/05/2024 20:08

Could you say something jokey like, did you miss cleaning your teeth today? It's so easy to forget, and hope he gets the hint?

ThePoetsWife · 12/05/2024 20:11

Probably doesn't go to the dentist - he needs to have his teeth professionally cleaned

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 20:13

Mosaic123 · 12/05/2024 20:08

Could you say something jokey like, did you miss cleaning your teeth today? It's so easy to forget, and hope he gets the hint?

Yes, I would like to say it. For his own sake but don't want to humiliate him. Its a tricky one. He is extremely intelligent and self aware in other aspects of life. I guess nobody ever told him as its such an awkward thing to say.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 20:45

BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 20:13

Yes, I would like to say it. For his own sake but don't want to humiliate him. Its a tricky one. He is extremely intelligent and self aware in other aspects of life. I guess nobody ever told him as its such an awkward thing to say.

Show quote history

There is way of saying this without offending, unfortunately.

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 20:57

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 20:45

There is way of saying this without offending, unfortunately.

Show quote history

I know. Its just such a hopeless situation. I know he had gallbladder problems a few months ago (gallbladder now removed). I could bring it up and blame it on that. Might not be as offensive.

OP posts:
alloverthewaves · 12/05/2024 20:59

Could you drop it into casual conversation that you went to the dentist recently and they advised you to brush your tongue because 90% of bad breath smells come from that rather than your teeth? "I never knew that? Did you?"

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 21:02

BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 20:57

I know. Its just such a hopeless situation. I know he had gallbladder problems a few months ago (gallbladder now removed). I could bring it up and blame it on that. Might not be as offensive.

Show quote history

Oh! Sorry!

I meant to say there is no way t say it.

But, of course to would be great if you do manage to find one.

It was a mistype. Apologies, OP.

Pigeonqueen · 12/05/2024 21:04

I think for me it would make me think his general hygiene and self care is slacking and that would just make me think nope.

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 21:06

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 12/05/2024 21:02

Oh! Sorry!

I meant to say there is no way t say it.

But, of course to would be great if you do manage to find one.

It was a mistype. Apologies, OP.

Show quote history

Yes, there is no nice way to say it.

Telling the truth is a very kind thing to do but appears very, very cruel. And may end (or strengthen) a friendship. I would prefer to know than not know, no matter how horrifying the realisation but I may cringe with shame forever more.

OP posts:
alloverthewaves · 12/05/2024 21:07

Or send him an anonymous letter saying "my friend quite fancies you but could you sort out your bad breath?"

thelengthspeoplegoto · 12/05/2024 21:11

Next time you're chatting to him, tell him you have a dentist appointment. See how he reacts.
I know someone who hasn't been to the dentist in 20 years, her teeth are practically green 🤢

Brumhilda · 12/05/2024 21:12

Well it literally is your best friend that tells you that you smell…

Original poster
BoundaryGirl3939 · 12/05/2024 21:14

alloverthewaves · 12/05/2024 21:07

Or send him an anonymous letter saying "my friend quite fancies you but could you sort out your bad breath?"

I actually thought of doing that at one point. I might still do!

OP posts:
LizzieBennett73 · 12/05/2024 21:17

DH has got a hiatal hernia and takes antacids daily but my god, his breath is foul. He's obsessive about going to the dentist and has a scale/polish every 3 months but unfortunately nothing helps. I dread him kissing me... and it's not nice for either of us in truth. He also drinks a mountain of coffee daily that doesn't help.

Chances are this could be similar if he has gallbladder issues. The only kind way to mention it is around this. Medication can help but doesn't always.

caringcarer · 12/05/2024 21:33

A strong antibacterial peppermint mouthwash. Could you show him a bottle you bought for yourself to freshen your breath? Then a week later maybe tell him how good it was.

LizzieBennett73 · 12/05/2024 22:03

If it's a gut issue you could rinse his mouth out with bleach and it won't help.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page