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Original poster

Was this rude or am I sensitive?

26 replies

Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 05:21

Unsure the point of writing, bit of a rant I suppose!

Walked to my local coffee shop today with my baby. It was busy but there were a some tables free and bar stools (the bar stool areas was not accessible with my pram though as they are in cramped corners - slightly relevant!). All tables (free and occupied) were tables of 4 and the shop has no smaller tables.

Ordered my coffee and sat down. It came and I began feeding my 3 month old baby. Nearly immediately, a waitress came over to me before I'd even had chance to take a sip of my drink . She didn't say 'hi' or 'excuse me' just bluntly asked "how long are you going to be?"

I looked down at my feeding baby and my coffee, slightly confused and said "erm, I'm not sure?"She huffed and said "well , I need a table outside". Again, abit confused by the situation , I just replied "well, I don't know?" As I've never exactly been asked to put a time frame on finishing my coffee and feeding my baby before . Plus, this is abit of a treat having a nice coffee (with maternity leave and cost of living) , I wasn't going to sit there all day though obviously but don't see why I should be rushed.

Waitress huffed again, rolled her eyes and went to put a reserved sign on the bar stools then back inside where I could see her clearly talking about me to a colleague with a face like thunder.

Am I sensitive (and sleep deprived) or is this just extremely rude?
I get that I was at a larger table but I didn't have much choice and I was a customer, there first?

OP posts:
whattodoforthebest2 · 12/05/2024 05:34

Yes she was being very rude. There were other tables free so it’s not like you were taking up valuable space that others could have used.

I’d ignore it but if that happened again I’d complain about poor service and being made to feel unwelcome.

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 05:39

@whattodoforthebest2 yes and a few other tables finished up not long after this, none of them had been approached so it was just me really. Unwelcome is exactly how I felt!

OP posts:
NotOnnMyWatch · 12/05/2024 05:42

Extremely rude! Bloody cheek! Sorry she took the shine off your coffee and chill time. God, imagine doing that when someone’s made it out the house with a baby and is sat minding their own business.

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LBFseBrom · 12/05/2024 05:46

She was extremely rude, her attitude was outrageous; you'd only just sat down with your coffee. I don't like telling tales but in this instance I'd be inclined to complain to the management.

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 12/05/2024 05:52

Very rude. If she needed the table she should have reserved it earlier. Also made worse that she did this while you were breast feeding. Cafes etc should be making women feel comfortable to feed their babies not asking when they will leave. I hope the two weren't connected.

I hope you took as long as you needed. And yes I would complain.

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 05:54

@NotOnnMyWatch glad you think so too - I am generally more sensitive these days so I wasn't sure! Definitely took the the shine off!!

@LBFseBrom I wish now I'd said 'are you asking me to leave?' So I could complain. I haven't seen her working there before and the manager is usually a friendly bloke, not sure he'd like this as it's a small independent and relies on local custom ( not a foot traffic area)

OP posts:
Willmafrockfit · 12/05/2024 05:55

shame you didnt say Why?
perhaps they had a reservation and forgot to put down the sign

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 05:55

@ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst sorry, I should have said it was from a bottle feeding.

breastfeeding I would have been straight up to the counter to complain as that would have been worse!

OP posts:
Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 05:57

@Willmafrockfit if they had made a mistake and forgot to reserve the table, they could have approached me abit better . I would have been understanding then and not felt like utter crap !

OP posts:
KnitnNatterAuntie · 12/05/2024 06:02

So sorry you had your lovely treat spoiled. Yes, I think what she did was both rude & unnecessary

Hope it works out better next time . . . if not complain & boycott!!!!

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 12/05/2024 06:04

Ex waiting staff - yes, bloody rude, what terrible customer service!

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 06:07

Phew - this has gone better than I thought. I was worried I'd be told I should have went to the bar stools instead of taking the table!

OP posts:
Inspireme2 · 12/05/2024 06:39

Rude!
Someone needs to learn manners and decent behaviour in their job.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 12/05/2024 06:40

I think I'd be emailing the owner about it. 🤨

SwallowsAmazons · 12/05/2024 06:47

Extremely rude. I think I would have replied I will have a refund on my coffee and leave now.

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 06:54

I am wary to contact and let them know as I don't want to be seen as a complainer but honestly , it ruined my day (admittedly I don't have a lot going on in my day here in the baby trenches haha!!)

OP posts:
whattodoforthebest2 · 12/05/2024 07:20

As you say, it ruined your day and you’re at a stage when you need small comforts and think how much nicer and more welcoming she could have and should have been.

If it’s a small independent, they will be heavy on the good customer service so this isn’t acceptable at all. I’d say something next time. You may find she’s already left.

LBFseBrom · 12/05/2024 07:24

I understand you don't want to be seen as a complainer, neither would I, but the thing is the waitress was extremely rude and is likely to do the same again - may even have already behaved similarly with other customers. The firm will want to know and she needs to learn. Please do look the cafe up online and if they have an email address, or a facebook page where you can send them a private message, tell them what happened.

AlisonDonut · 12/05/2024 07:44

If they wanted you at the bar stools, they would make the bar stools more accessible.

If they wanted you on a smaller table, then they would have smaller bloody tables available.

I'd definitely ask the manager what exactly it is you were supposed to be doing here? Would he rather you paid for and drank your coffee and continued to use the shop as is it, or went elsewhere?

WillimNot · 12/05/2024 08:40

I wouldn't see it as a complaint or mark it as such, just as a breezy "FYI, thunder face needs to learn some customer service skills" to the boss.

I work in hospitality and would be really appreciative if a customer let me know in a casual way. Your staff being polite to customers is so important, I would give a staff member a written warning for that level of behaviour.

determinedtomakethiswork · 12/05/2024 09:00

I would definitely go in again and speak to the man who owns it. I think he would be horrified.

andfinallyhereweare · 12/05/2024 09:16

I’m a waitress- write a review, so rude. So so rude.

Maverickess · 12/05/2024 09:47

I'm normally someone who defends customer facing staff, I do think a lot of the time people complain about 'rude' staff it's because they've gone at them with an attitude and don't like it when it's returned, however this sounds totally uncalled for and could have been a completely different incident with a different attitude from the waitress.

I'd contact the owner rather than leave a review especially if I'd used them before and it was fine, to give them the opportunity to do something about it and address it with the member of staff.

But I don't think you're being over sensitive after being spoken to like that.

Original poster
Wingingitmum11 · 12/05/2024 09:55

Think I'm going to word a message tonight - wish me luck!

OP posts:
BlastedPimples · 12/05/2024 10:48

If you don't make the owner / manager aware, then this person will continue to behave unprofessionally. And it will affect their business.