Stolen bank account...

[Mama81]

Hi, not posted in a long time. The tale is long, but il keep it brief.
At 16 ( I'm 40s now) I opened a bank account with a high street bank with my dad. During college and uni I had summer and weekend jobs, and the wages went into this account.
I was not allowed to use this account, there was no debit card etc that I saw or knew of at the time.
At the end of uni ( aged 22) I returned home and lived with parents for around a year. I realised there was a strong possibility of a forced marriage, and ran away aged 23 with the help of a older friend.
My parents are not violent or abusive but controlling and manipulative particularly where money was concerned.
Fast forward to age 33, so 10 years ago, my brother contacted me to say my dad had a heart attack.
I dutifully went to see him in hospital. Dad completely ignored me. He returned home about 2 weeks later and I phoned home. He screamed, swore and even name called my children, saying I had betrayed them and made my choice. ( leaving the family at 23)
I did not call again. Months passed and brother called again to say dad had got an infection, and was in a coma, it was terminal, and doctors had given him a week.
Dutifully I started visiting again. I was present when he passed 5 days later.
After the funeral mum said that she still had items of mine and would I like them. I had no idea what she still had so I said yes.
In the items was a bank book for said above account. I went to the bank to see what was in there, if it was still open etc.

It had been emptied one month after i gave birth to my oldest child. There was 10 thousand pounds in there.

Now here's the dilemma- my dad could not have emptied the account himself. I was an adult at the time of the transaction.

I suspected my sister had a hand in the matter- she has worked in finance/banking for most of her career, and we have the same initials, ie T Jones.

2 weeks ago she admitted she remembered going to the said above bank, and signing something. I found her admission insulting and vague. She would have been approx 25 years old at the time.

I am angry and hurt at the realisation that my sister has lied. She could have told me years ago dad forced her to sign a paper for my account bit chose not too.

Do I take this further, what do I do or can I do? Ten thousand pounds would make a difference in our lives.

Until my sister admitting it 2 weeks ago I chose to believe it was all dad's doing, but I feel he and my sister were equal players in stealing my money.

Please advise,

That is really horrible. Were your wages going in but you couldn't spend them?

I suppose you could contact the bank and ask for a statement on that account. When they say you signed it off, you can then say you didn't and ask to be put through to their fraud team.

Hopefully someone in the police or banking will be along to help soon.

Your sister might not be free of guilt but your father was an awful man who likely coerced her. I don't know if there's an outcome where you can get your money back, but even if there were would you want to implicate her in a potential crime? What outcome do you want?

I really dont know what outcome I want. It is my sisters lie that has really stunned me. My DH has said maybe she was scared to tell me.
However I have also realised she has lied about other things too, mostly money related things to do with my mum ( nothing to do with me, so I see it as a pointless lie)
My DH's view is that I tell her I'm having the matter investigated as it's too much money to ignore.

I think you are looking into the unknown a bit. Have a chat to someone, perhaps the ombudsman? about the law, steps to take and possible outcomes etc and then have a think about the likely result you would get and if that would suit (soothe?) you.

Wishing all you want for a particular outcome is really hard when you just won’t get that outcome and uses a lot of energy.

If you think it could all go your way, crack on.

I suspect your sister was under the same level of manipulation and control as you were, so as hard as it may be, I would try not to blame her for what happened, or for lying about it.

Your dad was abusive and you both suffered because of it (albeit in different ways).

you hadn’t one checked up on this account since you last deposited presumably many years ago?

this is the first time you have checked this account for… decades?

He coerced her and after describing your parents as being controlling and manipulative, it's most likely you would have done the same as your sister did and followed orders if you hadn't managed to escape from them.

I wouldn't be hard in your sister.

It's your father and probably your mother who are to blame.

When you tan away ages 23 then would have been the time to contact the bank and possibly the police in getting the account in your name only and only you accessing it.

But you didn't.

I’d contact the bank

It’s fraud if you had an account in your name but someone else took the money out

but if it was also in your dads name are you sure he didn’t transfer the money out? Which he would be entitled to do?

Not really anything anyone but the bank can help you with

most banks do close empty accounts after a certain period of time, is the account even open now?

you’ve had £10k sitting in an account for decades
you haven’t once checked up on it
you left bank doc at your estranged father’s house

and you came across it and decided to look in to it and it’s empty

ok

Thankyou for your message, i left without a toothbrush or pyjamas, a bank account was not my priority, but avoiding having to marry someone I had never met.

I think she means you could have done something about it in the last twenty years, not necessarily when you were leaving.

I didn't know how much money was in the account, as I had no access to it.
Your tone is attempting to belittle me, and it's fine if you have had the privilege to have money you can access anytime you wish.
I learned how to catch a bus and use an ATM machine at the age of 23 as I was not allowed to do anything independently.
I have spent the years blaming just my dad, but that changed 2 weeks ago when my sister admitted going to the bank, and telling me she didn't understand why they had gone there when she did not have an account with that particular bank.

Contact the bank. However the money was withdrawn it sounds like fraud and they will decide that. They will have procedures in place to deal with it.
Depending on the bank’s fraud team’s investigations they’ll either reimburse you or you can claim from your father’s estate and your sister jointly.
In the first instance talk to the bank and take it from there.

I wonder if you tell your sister and mother your money has been stolen and you’re going to the police, if the money might reappear?
Well done for escaping, you’re amazing.

Speak to the bank and/or claim against his Estate? Do you know who the Executors are?

When you say you opened the account with your dad, do you mean it was a joint account, or that he took you to the bank to open an account for yourself?

I was going to ask if it was a joint account, when you said you opened it with your dad. If it was, it's unlikely your sister would've needed to do anything - your dad could, in all likelihood, transact on the account without your permission.

Banks only have to keep records for a certain amount of time. It's unlikely they'll have detailed records including signature etc of when the funds were withdrawn, I'm quite surprised they even have a record of the date it was closed going back twenty years. It will be hard to prove it wasn't you, and the bank will likely ask why you didn't raise this before when they could have checked things more easily. I assume it was a an account that would have come under your full control at 18?

I learned how to catch a bus and use an ATM machine at the age of 23 as I was not allowed to do anything independently.

but you went away to uni?

I lived at home, and was taken there and back on lecture days.

At the end of uni ( aged 22) I returned home and lived with parents for around a year

I lived at uni in my final year. It's then I saw I didn't have to live the lifestyle my parents wanted.
Absolutely nothing to do with my original dilemma.
Thankyou to everyone whose replied.

You must have opened a current account to be able to function in your final year of university. I don't believe you were as unworldly as you say you were.

Anyway, when was the account closed? If it's more than 6 years ago, the bank are unlikely to be able to have retained details of who closed it and how.