Remote worker-colleague's marriage fund

[SpikyCoconut]

Everyone in the team I work in works remotely and I've never met colleague. There's been a group chat set up with a message to donate for her wedding if we wish (no pressure) and bank details.

I actually really like this colleague. Out of all of them I'd say she's the one I get on the most with-of course we don't actually see one another but we meet on Teams to discuss things and often end up having a good laugh together and seem to gel well as people.

I don't know what (if anything) to donate. I feel It's just a bit weird to be honest.

I've had a lot of jobs throughout life and this one IS the 'nicest' in that everyone is so lovely and supportive to one another, no 'politics' or favourtism, a lot of mutual trust so I don't want to be potentially the only one who doesn't give anything.

I've also only worked at the company a few months, began in February.

What would anyone else do?

I would chuck £20 if its affordable for you

I don't get it?

You're paying for her wedding??

Or a wedding gift?

Surely not?!

If you are financially able and you like the person, maybe give £10-20 for the collection? If not, I wouldn’t worry, it doesn’t sound like people will mind.

Can you ask other colleagues what is the norm, you're new so I would think it's reasonable to ask. It's easy to look cheap or go over the top compared with everyone else.

There's been a group chat set up with a message to donate for her wedding if we wish (no pressure) and bank details.

As in, donate to the costs of her wedding? Or donate an amount towards getting her a wedding gift? If I liked someone enough, I’d give a tenner, nothing more

In this example, I'd donate whatever you would if your job wasn't remote. I'd probably put in £5-15 depending on the size of the team. It sounds like you've interacted with her quite a bit and like her, not having met her in person is irrelevant.

I’d probably put in £15/20 if I liked the person, though it seems a bit odd for someone you’ve never met! Is there any talk of you all getting together for a meal etc. before the big day, or are you scattered far and wide?

You mean a wedding gift?

Sure, if you can afford it, put something in.

We're all over the country, nothing discussed about meeting. The group chat just says 'If you'd like to gift a little' so I imagine It's just to give some money as a present rather than pay toward the wedding itself.

I think I'll just send £20, general consensus by the sounds of it!

did the bride to be start the chat?

No, it was the UK manager (so not my/our direct manager but their manager) who started the chat.

So it's just a 'gift' for someone getting married? Perfectly normal I would think. Depending on how much I liked them I'd give €5, €10 or €20 but not any more than that.

It sounds like a typical wedding gift collection. I am not the biggest fan of paying into someones account but if you can't meet as you all work remotely, that's the only way.

I normally pay £5-10 for a colleague and £10-20 for a member of my team.

It's pretty normal to have a whip around for a colleague's wedding present, I agree with PP - £10ish for just a colleague and £20ish for a closer member of the team.

I'd put in a tenner unless I was senior in the team and/or this person's boss, in which case I would give more.

I'd probably chuck £20 in since you like her.

Can you see how much others have put in? I would probably put in £10 otherwise.

Ignore

£5

That's seems a very low, in fact it's almost insulting!

You wouldn't get much change from £5 if you gave it to a child to go to the corner shop!

£25 is a nice amount, because you say you like her as a person, so if you can afford it, do it.

It's not too low at all, it's a collection so the whole team put in and buy something worth, say £100 between them. These people have never met in person and are not actually attending the wedding (by the sound of it).

How rude.

£5 is fine. As you say, this is a collection from presumably lots of people that are colleagues. 20 people put a fiver in and the couple have a £100 gift voucher, which would be lovely.
The OP isn't a guest, it is what used to be an office whip round.

How can giving anyone, anything "be insulting" ?

I would give £5.

£20 is a lot of money to give and if all of the other colleagues give the same amount then it could be hundreds.

Surely it should just be a token amount rather than hundreds, especially for someone you’ve never met.