How often do you have play dates?? About to go mad

[Cadela]

I’ll start off by saying I adore DD’s friend group but I can’t go on!

I have not had a single day off from a play date this week, and have 2 over the weekend.

Dd adores her friends, but the children ask rather than mums sorting it out and so Dd comes out of school saying mummy! So and so said they’re having a play date on Thursday! And so and so is there saying yay! And I can’t very well say oh no you can’t go because I honestly do not have the energy to fend off the crying. Fine once a week or so, but I’ve had 4 play dates in a row with another 3 to go 😭

How do I calm this down. I love Dd seeing her friends, but I cannot go on. They’re still little enough (5,6,7) so it’s not just drop and run I have to sit through coffee and chats as well as either hosting or ensuring my child is being kind!

ETA - clarification

With school friends hardly ever. They see each other all day & can play at lunch or for a little while after the bell. We are lucky with lots of kids in the street. In & out of each others houses constantly,.no organising or travel involved.

You've got 2 choices then -
Carry on as you are
Say no sometimes

Go for whichever option you prefer because it's really not going to turn your 5 year old into a social outcast because she only has a couple of playdates a month and mummy doesn't stay.

SAY NO!
There you are, solved it.
You really are letting a child dictate your schedule.
In my experience play dates more than once a week is extremely unusual.
This is not going to get better unless you stop allowing it. Set limit. Once a week is more than enough.
Find the energy to deal with the tears or you are setting yourself up for a few interesting teenage years. Kids cry when they don’t get what they want. Unfortunately we don’t always get what we want. This needs to be learned. Quickly.

This is really unusual. Do none of their parents work or something? I don’t know any reception or year 1 kids who are having multiple play dates a week on school days, everyone has far too many other things to do.

Ok so you won’t say no to any playdates, and you “can’t” drop off and run. What do you want people to say really? Why did you start this thread?,

Just say no. My 6 year old has had maybe like 10 play dates ever, by that I mean ones that were arranged and either parents got together or we dropped them off. I think at 5/6/7 they are old enough for drop and run and I would hate someone turning up at my house expecting to be entertained when I'm trying to get stuff done. Mine does play with neighbours regularly, but just in the garden (we don't even see the other parents until one of us needs to go find our children for dinner, so I wouldn't class that as a 'playdate').

Really, just say no. Even my 11 year old might only have a friend over once a week who isn't a neighbour. Life is busy. We have to work afternoons and evenings, so I can't be supervising other people's children.

‘She’d love to come, but I won’t be able to stay unfortunately, will that be ok?’

She is more than old enough! I would hate having to stay!!

If you won't say no and you won't drop and run, there is no other option, why did you start this thread?

I do find this totally bizarre, and are the children and parents not throughly tired from constant play dates? I don't know anyone who has this many.

Most people drop and run at play dates from when they start school, do you really need to stay at 5,6,7?

My dc never had them because they went to a childminder's after school until the 'Rona years. Now they just call for their friends and play out and I have no involvement unless it involves sleepovers. It's great.

But OP isn’t missing out on stuff sometimes a part of life? Not everyone can go to everything all the time