Why, oh why, oh why can't I stop eating?

[ApolloandDaphne]

I am hungry all the time. 5'6" and 14s 5lb. Age 61. Tried everything. My diet is mostly healthy but obviously just too much.

I have a skinny runner of a DH who can eat everything and not gain an ounce. I do all the shopping and cooking as I am retired and he still works. I also drink too much wine and I know this isn't helping at all.

I start off each morning with good intentions. But in the afternoon I just hoover up everything I can lay my hands on.

I have done Zoe and know what is good for my body but many of these things are high calorie (avocados, nuts, hummus etc)

I am not really expecting anything from this post. I just wanted to write it down.

Sounds like you eat when you are bored and at home in the afternoon. Take a leaf out of your husband's book and keep busy and active. Go for a walk, join a gym etc. Sitting - or whatever - around at home ain't good for your health, mental or physical.

Also avoid crap food - sugars, carbs, etc and of course wine is a killer - 80 cals per glass. Maybe unfashionable to say this but try to exert some self control.

Well, yes. But not easy with a sore leg. I mean how much busy can I keep? I keep the house clean, walk the dog, do the food shopping , cook dinner, read, do all the activities I mentioned previously. I do lots of things but there is still plenty of spare time for mindless snacking. I need to try and change my mindset rather than just try to fill every spare second of my day. It's definitely the period between 3-6 pm that is a major problem.

Hi , I know exactly how you feel and have been trapped in this cycle. At last I have escaped . I am 57 and felt that I needed also to reduce processed food , despite eating plenty of healthy items, I was allowing too much sugar etc and so called healthy alternatives into my diet. A pod cast called Feel Better , Live More by Dr Rangan Chatterjee, in particular the episode #414 why can’t you stop eating ultra processed food has helped me change my eating habits and think differently about my food choices, and eating different options has helped ( not eliminate) cravings

Maybe think of it this way? You have to learn how to accept being hungry some of the time. Boredom is not hunger. Every time you think of eating have a glass of water.

I would suggest dropping the wine. Try And walk where you can. The more exercise I do the better I feel and want to eat better.
I read somewhere that it takes 21 times to break a habbit (something like that) so where you snack in the afternoon you need to break that habit and do something else. Eventually, you won’t even think of eating because you’ve stopped doing that. I used to be really bad at snacking in the evenings but I had Invisalign braces and got out the habit (too much faff cleaning my teeth). I don’t ever snack now, just don’t feel the need.

If you really can't get out of that late afternoon snacking habit, for the various reasons you've given, maybe try and eat much-reduced meals so that overall you're not over-eating.

It's not your diet, it's your mind (and it's not your fault or the fault of your mind!).

When we're young we associate food, especially 'treat' food, with either pleasure or comfort. Birthday, Easter, Christmas? That means lovely food. Sad, scared, bored? Have something nice to help you feel better. Your subconscious mind has a failsafe way to make anything better, which is fine when you're little and not in charge of the fridge and cupboard!

But as an adult it's not a helpful strategy - swapping momentary pleasure for long term happiness. What will help is re-educating/updating that part of your subconscious to let it know that eating 'mindlessly' is no longer making you happy. Once it realises that it will stop. Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis.

sounds familiar to me :( the only thing that has actually helped is wegovy - I'm not here to shill the medication, and I understand it's expensive, has pretty awful side effects for loads of people, and drastic - but for me it's cut the "noise" of food out of my life. It's like living like a "normal" person instead of feeling like a labrador begging for a snack all the time.

Lost 40lbs on it so far since November and I still need to lose another 40lb. There are good threads on here full of members who are on it and they're really encouraging - they actually inspired me to give it ago after yet another diet where I was barely losing half a pound a week and then putting it straight back on.

For reference I'm 34, 5'4 and have been obese for 10 years.

I suspect the wine has a lot to do with it, it lowers your ability to regulate food intake, it makes you hungry, an aperitif is literally to make you feel hungry and contains lots of calories. Cut out alcohol and soft drinks and you will cut your calorie intake and hopefully your appetite will also reduce

My advice is "atomic habits". Start ridiculously small, so you can't fail. You'll build momentum and in a year from now, be in a different place.

I would choose one small, relatively easy thing. For example, it could be wine, but if that's hard, do something else. You could try one tee total night per week. Stick at that for 4 weeks. Then make it 2 nights per week. Again, stick at that.

Or could be late night snacking / any other habit. You won't see progress at first but it will come quicker than you think!

Good luck x

Yes the wine is an issue. I don't drink any soft drinks so that is not a problem here.

I feel the same very often, only things that help me are:
Getting a good night sleep
Not being (even a bit) hungover
Eating a big healthy breakfast and lunch
Not eating sugar in the day
Not feeling too anxious - easier said than done.
Having money - end of month is all cheap carb foods

I use to have binge eating issues many years ago. So may not be the same but..

I found the more i ate, the hungrier i got.
Also habit of emotional/stress eating. The more i obsessed about food, the more down i felt the more i ate.
Also unfortunately alcohol, i ate more whilst drinking,then the next day would be hungry too.

Rather then what to eat or not eat to sort it, it ended up that changing my relationship with food/image/emotions that ended the cycle. The more satisfied I was with myself and life, the eating sorted itself out.

So I guess the food was the red herring, treating the underlying issue fixed the problem, but that was my feelings/emotional state rather then diet.

Oh and quitting alcohol.

I try to follow the Zoe diet but need to work on less carbs.As a rule I eat three slices of wholemeal roast a day but today is the third day of eating only two slices of wholemeal toa st.

Hope this helps as the more bread I consume the hungrier I feel.

I eat either sardines in tomato sauce halloumi or humous on the toa st.

Op you know the hip area ru b both hips with your hands behind your back. I learned this in the l ockdowns as the sports physio was closed the early part of the pandemic. Invest in a really good massage oil and put a tiny bit on your palms rub into the sore area but rub both sides o r the pain can get transferred. Once rubbed in clench your fists rub them deeply and hard into the sore areas. Do nightly until healed then maintenance twice weekly.

I prefer Elemis massage oil. I can also recommend visiting a sports physio regularly.

It may be a weight/posture issue. Check your posture too going forward.

Watching this thread with interest as I'm in a similar situation. I'm 5 ft 5 inches,14 stone 9 lbs and I am constantly hungry! I've managed to lose 6 stone over the past couple of years by intermittent fasting (it's only thing that works for me as I'm an evening eater) but I still need to lose another 4 stone. I'm disabled with mobility problems so find it difficult to exercise much,and I'm getting so pissed off with struggling to lose just a pound a week. I've recently been trying fat binders that are meant to absorb 28% of the fat you eat. I was worried they might upset my stomach but so far I've been fine. I've managed to lose 6 lbs in the last 2 weeks combined with 1500 calories per day.