Does anyone else need a mental health overhaul?

[Seed90]

I feel awful this evening. I’ve been here so many times before. I allow it to pass and then carry on as I was before until the next exacerbation.

I’m a part time working mum to young children. I have a good job, supportive partner, friends, lovely home and children I adore. But I’m just wracked with negative thinking patterns and anxiety and panic. I ruminate and have intrusive thoughts. Every few months my symptoms peak and feel totally overwhelmed by them. Outwardly I function well but internally I’m living a half life.

I’m just on autopilot. I spend all of my time caring for my family and doing nothing for myself. I don’t really have any hobbies and I don’t do anything meaningful for me. When the children are in bed I just meaninglessly scroll on my phone to distract myself.

I don’t really know the purpose of this thread. I suppose I’m wondering whether anyone can relate and/or has thoughts about how I might begin to move forward.

I’ve self referred for to talking therapies this evening.

Thanks if you’ve made it this far

Have you tried hypnotherapy. It really worked for me. I had a breakdown after a visit to Disneyland of all places. I thought I would never come back from it. But hypnotherapy reset me.

Sending lots of love. I’m sorry things are hard at the moment.

Well done for applying for therapy. It helped my anxiety a lot. Other things that helped: 5 mins of Headspace meditation a day. Exercise three times a week. Prozac medication.
I no longer have anxiety and life is so much easier. You don't have to suffer with it. Keep trying different things and eventually you will be free of it.
Good luck

I can relate. I'm really sorry you feel the way you do. First time mum and been on maternity for 13 months, due to return to work mid June. I've suffered with anxiety on and off since a teen but it's really peaked the past year with family pressures surrounding baby. I hit an all time low around Christmas and realised that my anxiety was ruining the most special time in my life so I self referred to talking therapies. It has been helpful, an outlet to vent if nothing else but it's also helped me gain perspective and taught me tools to manage my anxiety. My husband doesn't know how much anxiety affects me but keeping it to myself, I sometimes feel like a prisoner in my own home because I can't talk about it and it just builds and builds. Throughout the counselling process I've come to realise the importance of self care so please make an effort to do something for you, even if it's just a quiet half hour to enjoy a coffee in the sunshine.

I absolute hear you! I could have written your post myself!
I find it so difficult to just accept the now, I’m always ruminating and pushing for change, when I know I can’t really handle it at the mo.
I’m never satisfied with just being. It’s actually exhausting. I get so annoyed with myself!
how did you self refer for talking therapy? I think I may need to bite the bullet and try before I spiral again!!

No I haven’t. Do you mind telling me a bit more about this? Was it hypnotherapy for anxiety? How many sessions did you have? Thanks

Thank you all. I’ve been to see the GP today and been prescribed medication. I’m just trying to formulate a plan about what to implement next

In our area you can self refer through a service called IAPT. I don’t think this is exclusive to where we live. I just googled self referral for talking therapy in our area. Im anticipating a long waiting list though so am considering going privately

I’m really sorry you went through this but good for you for doing something about it. Was it CBT that you did?

I did a google search too, in my area the online CBT is called Silvercloud, might be a national thing so worth having a look.
I’ve signed up so fingers crossed!

It was for a specific issue whereby I became scared of patterns. Which sounds bizarre and truthfully before this happened to me I would have told anyone to pull themselves together but apparently it is a very real thing.

I had a terrible childhood. Punctuated with every horror you can imagine. I’m pretty strong willed so I ended up raising 2 kids alone. Then when I took my little one to Disneyland the exhaustion upon arriving home left me in a terrible state. I saw a pattern that made me cringe and then I couldn’t shake the feeling it had given me.

I then began to see patterns in everything - all of which were frightening to me. It was a bit like Alice in wonderland only a lot less wonderful. I was out of body completely.

My hypnotherapist worked with me (* I think once a day for a week) until I had unlearned this being scared of patterns and honestly I think he saved my life.

My brain had held on to too much trauma and then said actually forget it. I give up. You’re now scared of patterns. It sounds made up but I promise you it isn’t. Jesus I was frightened as well.

We must be careful with our minds.

it’s helpful to remember you cannot control your thoughts. Observe and let them pass. They always come back up if not.

Sorry I meant to say (more to the point) hypnotherapy will help with repetitive thought patterns - OCD and anything else your mind is doing that works against you.

It is such a fine line between being whatever normal is and being very much not.

I wish you all the very best. Life is hard. We hold onto too much and we don’t ask for help when we should.

Some therapists will trace everything back to childhood. I tend to believe this to be true.

Much love to you. ♥️

OP, have you the money to see a psychiatrist, privately? It sounds a bit heavy but... I am similar to you in terms of the crash every few months. Turns out I have underlying ADHD. I had no idea. I'm not saying you do, just that it might be worth talking to more of an expert than the GP.

This might sound ridiculous but I've no idea if CBT or not. I was honestly in such a low and had the counsellor's details following a recommendation it felt like the only option at the time so didn't even look in to it. I think it has been helping but it's week to week and still have ups and downs. However, I get "homework" each week and it gives me something specific to focus on or small steps to take which helps me focus on being a bit more positive and take a bit of control.

I could have written this. On the surface people would have no idea that I’m on medication for depression and anxiety and frankly I’m engulfed by it at the moment.
it feels unbearable - like my skin doesn’t fit properly and I’m scrabbling around for a solution when nothing is working.
DH and DD are wonderful, even Dcat is keeping me company but I’d just love some rest from the relentless thinking and negative self talk. Desperation is not too strong a word.

I recognise the cycle - things that have helped me (no particular order) are getting an Adhd diagnosis, EMDR therapy, listening to positive podcasts on Spotify and You Tube, cutting out caffeine and sugar binges.

On the negative thoughts, it is definitely possible to change them - when they crop up for (usually triggered by stress) I try and use positive thinking. So I will get up and tell myself I am going to channel positivity today. Sort of fake it till I make it. And try and magnify the glimmers of positivity.

For example if I discovered a better way of doing something or tried something new, keep praising myself for it and thinking how grateful I am to have these experiences.

It sounds extremely naff and very unBritish but I've been in some very low places before and I am actually just genuinely grateful because I know how fragile mental health is.