I feel like life is passing me by

[BeneathTheMangroveTree]

Because of my weight. I look terrible and hate seeing people who knew me before I had kids. I've avoided everyone.
I hate going out. Hate going on holidays.
I'm not stupid and I know about healthy eating and exercise yet I must look stupid.
People must think I know nothing about health and valuing myself. But I do. I just can't put things into action.
I try but it doesn't last.
Today the weather is nice but all I can think about is how to replace my coat for covering myself.
I don't want this anymore and am going to make changes.

Most people will be far too busy worrying about themselves to notice you.
I prefer to be covered and there are some beautiful floaty kaftan type tops (have a look on shein or asos) that can be worn with thin leggings or shorts.
If you are pale and can afford it get a spray tan done, if you don't want to be so exposed skinny tan is great and not too expensive.
Basically treat yourself to whatever will make you feel good/better and go out and get on with it. I go out and about and I'm fat, I'm certainly not wasting my one life hiding indoors incase anyone sees me!

I do try but I get so self conscious. People do judge and they treat people who are overweight differently. It's not right but it's reality.

What effect will someone judging you have? You are not a mind reader so how would you know they are judging?
I'm not trying to be harsh but really, it is a shame to waste your one life worrying about what other people are thinking.

If you’re a self help book fan (like me!) then The kindness method is a good book to help with behaviour change. The author has another book specifically linked to weight loss too, think it’s called the last diet. I understand the cycle of feeling stuck and blaming yourself, it’s not a nice way to feel and I hope you feel better soon x

Changing your body takes time though, are you giving yourself enough time?

Consistency is key. Little and often.

My youngest is 4 and I'm only this year back to feeling body confident. That's after 18 months of regular class exercise. Before the class I was doing a running plan alone for 12 months. I started that overweight and out of breath, it was awful! It was only after shifting a little bit of weight and building a fitness base I felt brave enough to join a class. So all in all, 30 months of regular exercise and sensible eating.

You can do it OP, but you have to prioritise yourself.

One thing about holidays abroad is that there are all shapes and sizes there. Everybody does their own thing and ignores everyone else. I was more self conscious at a young age and weighing 8 stone than l am there now at a MUCH higher weight as l have learned over the years that no one cares. Also when l am there l walk everyday and come back feeling much better about myself. Make a radical decision and book a holiday. It will give you a great lift.

Do some exercise that's enjoyable to you. Now that the weather is nicer I like going out on the bike. Bonus is that toddler can come along on the bike seat. We pack a picnic and go off on an adventure together. I'm more likely to eat better when I've been exercising as I don't want to undo all that good work.

I think the stage of having young kids is the time to dive into what they like doing. So cycle with them, buy a scooter, go swimming. Get involved with them before they think it's uncool!

You can do this OP but you will need support. How much weight do you need to lose? Try SW/WW - having a weight loss community will make you accountable, and get an exercise buddy to work out.
Chuck out ALL unhealthy food from your house. If it’s not there you can’t eat it. Tell people around you what your intentions are so they can support you.
Find exercise you enjoy. Some people hate gyms-that’s ok. Try something else.

I would try to look as nice as you possibly can at your current weight. Dont wait for a future you that might never materialise. Watch some Rosie Henshaw YouTube videos to see how amazing a size 18 woman can look (I appreciate I don't know your size).
Then make the changes needed and stick with them. It's clear you're aware that noone can do it for you. Do you want to still feel like this a year from now?

Loosing weight is one of the few things in life where you are control and that what you are doing is entirely for yourself. It's probably one of the biggest ways to make yourself happier.

I obviously know loosing weight can be very very difficult but I think that people forget to think about how good it feels to take control and how good it feel to loose weight.

Start really slowly and get you and your body used to the fact you are going to start dieting then slowly start decreasing your calories and increasing your exercise. Starting cold turkey is too much of a shock although it may suit you.

In the meantime try not to worry about what other people think. No one cares

Also, depending on your weight is it worth seeing the doctor?

A lot of people overeat for comfort. It’s a quick fix when you want something to make you feel treated.

Is there something else that would give you that dopamine high? Something you could do, rather than consume?

For me it was joining a walking group. I drank far too much wine, but when I joined I realised that I struggled more on walks where I drunk in the evenings leading up to it. Knowing I wanted to enjoy the walks gave me the impetus to stop.

Good luck.

I do eat for comfort. Mainly to block out stress. But this is 2.5 stone of baby weight I gained that I just can't get rid of. Im short so I look very overweight and my bmi is way too high.
I keep telling myself that losing 1 stone would make me look so, so much better but I can't even lose a lb.
It's on my mind constantly then I give in to food and it's mindless.