What do people do about work with serious family illness?

[M25queen]

DH has a serious, life limiting illness. It's manageable most of the time but there are times when he's in hospital or very ill at home and I have to take time off. My employers are amazing and still pay me. But the episodes are getting more frequent, and there are so many appointments and I don't want to take the piss. I work for a small business so there don't seem to be policies for things like this. Sometimes I feel so stressed I wonder about asking for a sick note myself. Just what do people do? Get signed off? Resign? His job is completely flexible so I'm just talking about myself. Our DC are young adults and not at home.

Could you maybe reduce your hours on a temporary basis? Are the number of appointments likely to reduce in the longer term? My friend is in a similar situation and her company have said they’d rather support her over the next 6-12 months knowing that she’s not working at full capacity rather than loosing her completely to stress or just resigning. I’d try and have a sit down with your manager and voice your concerns then see what they say.

I have gone part time and any time I take off to care for my husband is either holiday or unpaid. Its tough, it's been a year now and people seem to forget how it can affect you. We do have carers three times a day which helps with my work hours.

Could you work from home and look after your DH? Asking for flexible working with more wfh when you need to and possibly reduced hours?

Could you work part time flexibly, wfh? Could you simply put a time sheet in each month and get paid for what managed to work? Small businesses can be bespoke to fit around your needs. Don't forget to apply for any benefits you can, it's very hard being a carer

Thanks all, food for thought here.