Writing off a debt to dsis-how?

[Barbiesbestie]

2.5 years ago dsis borrowed a large amount of money from me . She was paying it back regularly for a year till she lost her job . She was then diagnosed with breast cancer (luckily caught early and currently disease free).

She hasn’t been able to find work and has been paying me back £5 a month as was all she could afford. There is still a big amount outstanding. I know she is struggling as I see when I go to her house how little there is in the fridge etc and I can see from her clothes she hasn’t had anything new in a very long time . She’s really struggling.

I want to tell her to forget what she owes me but she is so proud I know she won’t want to not pay me back (and she knows we aren’t exactly well off either) but I can manage without it. How do I do this without seeming patronising ? What do I say

Suggest that you give her a payment holiday until she finds work. Emphasise that there is absolutely no rush to pay you back and that you know she will when she is back in work.

As and when she is back in work, agree a small monthly sum, similar to what she is doing now. Should she get a well paying job, then she can maybe pay slightly more (or much more depending on how high her pay). Remind her that if the situation was in reverse, she would do the same for you.