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What is your day like stay at home parent

41 replies

bumbershoot1 · 08/05/2024 11:16

I have two under 3 and my day consists of breakfast, clean, lunch, clean, dinner, clean.
Some laundry in between and every day errands and playing with the kids, my husband works full time It's extremely boring.

OP posts:
notanotherrokabag · 08/05/2024 11:23

get a job and share childcare with your husband?

Needmorelego · 08/05/2024 11:27

Do you not take the children to groups like Stay and Play or Rhyme Time?
Or a play at the park/look at the ducks/collect twigs?

ashiningbeaconinspace · 08/05/2024 11:27

Find some mother and baby groups. They saved my sanity!

Interested in this thread?

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Moier · 08/05/2024 11:29

It's as boring or exciting as you want it to be.
Go to mother n baby groups.
Take a picnic to the park.
Go to soft play.. meet other Mums.

UnravellingTheWorld · 08/05/2024 12:15

Breakfast
Clean
Outings/errands
Lunch
Clean
Outings? (if i could be bothered)
Dinner

It's a bit of a work in progress. I could probably be more exciting if I didn't work two days, but you need to have more to live for than doing housework. (and somehow my house is always untidy and not as clean as I'd like)

portalee · 08/05/2024 12:49

I have a 2yo and 5yo so my older child is at school. We have lots of toddler activities nearby so she has something planned every day of the week. Today I took her to a toddler group for 2 hours, and we've gone to the playground afterwards. I bring lunch out with us so she can play until nap time and we don't have to go home for lunch. In the afternoon I'll need to collect some parcels and do the dishwasher and laundry, and prep dinner. I pick up my older daughter from school and take her to a music lesson, then we go home and do homework. DH works ft but we live close to his office so he is home by 5.30, and we split the bath/bedtime routine between us. I do most of the housework after bedtime so we aren't stuck at home during the day. Other weekly classes we do are music, swimming, gymnastics, football.

TwilightSkies · 08/05/2024 12:50

Do you want to work?

frozendaisy · 08/05/2024 13:01

I loved being at home when they were little

Chilled start to the early day, they didn't eat much, fruit is your friend.

Used to go out just to jump in puddles
A walk to newsagents to get an ice cream could easily take over an hour they would stop and wave at fire engines.

You don't get time again like this as an adult to just play, see things that are totally normal but to a 3 year old you need to get that particular precious daisy home.

You can go to a park or a cafe or a toddler group in the day when the rest of the world is at work. You can dance to pop music, build a cardboard den, use blankets for just about everything.

Yeah our house was not a show home but it was great having company hanging out or folding washing, yes it took much longer but it was all part of our play.

Try and enjoy some of it OP it does go by so fast even though single days can feel like decades.

I miss it.

TomeTome · 08/05/2024 13:04

Get a cleaner or do it more energetically so it isn’t necessary to do it all the time. Fill your time with stuff you DO like. How can you be bored when you can literally choose to do whatever you like?

MalibuBarbieDreamHouse · 08/05/2024 13:24

I adore being a stay at home mum! I use a cleaning “rota” so I’m only really cleaning 20 minutes a day. DD2 goes to nursery 3 mornings a week.

Today- up at 7, DH did breakfast while I threw a load on, I dropped DD5 at school, then DD2 at nursery, washing on the line, a quick clean up from breakfast. I’m pregnant so went to the gym/swim with mum friend and a coffee. Collected DD2 midday, we went to feed the ducks and home for lunch, then had a good cuddle and she’s gone down for a nap. I’ve prepped dinner as we will be taking the girls ice skating after school. Then it will be dinner, bath, bed.

They are little for such a short amount of time, I blinked my first born is 5!

Ciderisrosier · 08/05/2024 13:31

frozendaisy · 08/05/2024 13:01

I loved being at home when they were little

Chilled start to the early day, they didn't eat much, fruit is your friend.

Used to go out just to jump in puddles
A walk to newsagents to get an ice cream could easily take over an hour they would stop and wave at fire engines.

You don't get time again like this as an adult to just play, see things that are totally normal but to a 3 year old you need to get that particular precious daisy home.

You can go to a park or a cafe or a toddler group in the day when the rest of the world is at work. You can dance to pop music, build a cardboard den, use blankets for just about everything.

Yeah our house was not a show home but it was great having company hanging out or folding washing, yes it took much longer but it was all part of our play.

Try and enjoy some of it OP it does go by so fast even though single days can feel like decades.

I miss it.

This for me too. I have so many good memories of my time at home with them. That’s not to say I loved every single day, there were hard and lonely times in there. But I miss them as little people.

Beetlewings · 08/05/2024 13:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

ThatMrsM · 08/05/2024 13:34

I'm a SAHM to our 2 year old and nearly 4 year old. Eldest goes to preschool 2 days a week. We normally spend the mornings out (playground, playgroups, softplay, gymnastics, rhyme time at the library, art/messy play groups..luckily we have quite a lot of activities nearby). We're home for lunch and nap for my youngest. Then we'll play inside/in the garden/watch TV for a bit before dinner. Must admit I probably do the bare minimum housework...normally do some on one of the days my eldest is at preschool or just leave it until the weekend.

YouJustDoYou · 08/05/2024 13:41

I have 3 under 11, still a sahp, was horrendously difficult the first maybe 6 years or so but the load is so much lighter now they're older. Earlier years was;

Wake every hour/2 hours all night (for years). Then up for the day at 4.30am.
Spend the entire day just trying to survive the horrific sleep-deprivation/entertaining my extreme high needs baby/toddler who wouldn't nap/would scream/was incessently demanding.
Would put him down, screaming, to bed after nighttime routine around 7pm and pray to every God he would sleep. And repeat for a number of years.

Now, it's up 6.15am, walk dog, start packed lunch prep, clean kitchen/prep breakfast, school run 8.20am, home for 9am or grocery shopping/errands for an hour or two, home, walk dog for an hour, prep lunch if dh is home, laundry and tidying for a couple hours, prep dinner, go get kids from school, get them on homewalk whilst taking dog out for a wee, homework one hour, more laundry, dinner ready for around 5.30pm, tidy up dinner, 6pm - 7pm finish prep for tomorrow/get kids to help with chores. Bedtime wash for the younger two at around 7pm, 7.30pm get them ready for bed for 8pm, 8-9pm tidy up again/clean kitchen, put away food etc, sit with oldest for a half hour together, put oldest to bed around 9pm, sit for a half hour, walk dog again around 9.30pm, go upstairs to bed around 9.45pm/10pm, relax in bed for an hour. And repeat.

RomeoRivers · 08/05/2024 13:42

DH is self employed and works from home so we alternate the early mornings/ breakfast.

Tuesdays, Wednesdays + Fridays:
7-8am Kids get up, have breakfast, feed dog, empty dishwasher.
8-9am Other parent gets up, I get kids dressed.
DH or MIL takes 1 DC swimming (DD-weds, DS-Fri) other DC plays in garden or playroom.
12 Lunch
1pm DD goes to nursery, DS naps.
3pm DS gets up plays in the garden or playroom.
5pm pick up DD from nursery, have dinner
6pm bath/bed

On Mondays they go to MIL’s.
On Thursdays we go to playgroup in the morning and have lunch with my cousin + her DC. Then kids come home and nap. Dinner and bed as usual.

Peaceandquiet3638 · 08/05/2024 13:52

I agree that you need to get out and about if you’re not already to break the day up. We go out every morning (park, playgroup, shops, walk etc) then lunch/nap/chill time, then play in garden or with toys at home or maybe another park trip then bit of TV whilst I cool dinner. Then I clean up before bath time. But sounds like maybe you would prefer going back to work a bit?

bumbershoot1 · 09/05/2024 22:37

frozendaisy · 08/05/2024 13:01

I loved being at home when they were little

Chilled start to the early day, they didn't eat much, fruit is your friend.

Used to go out just to jump in puddles
A walk to newsagents to get an ice cream could easily take over an hour they would stop and wave at fire engines.

You don't get time again like this as an adult to just play, see things that are totally normal but to a 3 year old you need to get that particular precious daisy home.

You can go to a park or a cafe or a toddler group in the day when the rest of the world is at work. You can dance to pop music, build a cardboard den, use blankets for just about everything.

Yeah our house was not a show home but it was great having company hanging out or folding washing, yes it took much longer but it was all part of our play.

Try and enjoy some of it OP it does go by so fast even though single days can feel like decades.

I miss it.

Thank you so much for this reply, it made me see things a little bit differently 🩷

OP posts:
Whyamiherenow · 11/05/2024 10:52

I’m not a sahm. I have Fridays and weekends with DS. Fridays we try and do an activity in the morning - we do swimming. But otherwise. It’s exactly as you described - so is Saturday and Sunday with the exception he does football on Saturdays at 9 with DH.

It can be boring a little but it is so fun seeing everything through little eyes. DS favourite job is putting paired socks in a bag to go upstairs, putting rubbish in the bin (I have to find various rubbish for him which is fun) and inefficiently watering the garden (it goes everywhere other than where it is supposed to with his little watering can). It’s great fun through their eyes. It doesn’t last forever. DS is 2 in June

mondaytosunday · 11/05/2024 12:08

I live in London and as I did go back to work for a while after my first so he was used to daycare, when my second came along and I stayed home he still went to full day nursery twice a week. Then when baby 2 turned one he went three days she went two - kept me sane!
We had a cleaner once a week. I also had my teenage stepson living with us (and the other at weekends).
When very small I would do this loop once a week - one mile walk to baby clinic, another mile walk to coffee shop, last mile home. Other days it would be walk to the baby group/monkey music/park. I did an ante natal group then four/five of us met every week til they started school, this was at a coffee shop til the kids got too active so then it was the park or each others houses. Occasionally food shop (this was before deliveries).
Then home for lunch then nap while I did the usual clean/laundry. Then up play/supper/ time to get ready for bed so bath and story and down they went. Husband had a 50% chance of getting home before bedtime. Then down to cook dinner for me and husband and a nice adults only evening!
It was boring at times and a bit of a drudgery. I was so used to going out to work I found it a hard adjustment and very boring early on, which is why I joined the post natal group when my first was three weeks.

JLou08 · 11/05/2024 13:59

Not a SAHM anymore but when I was I'd go out twice on a usual day. It would be Breakfast, clean kitchen and put a wash on, baths, tidy up, playgroup/library or park. Home for lunch, washing out to dry, cleaning, play at home for a little then out again to the park or for a walk. Back home to do dinner then not long after that start bed time routine.
I needed to get out to stay sane. I couldn't bare a full day at home. Having a regular routine really helped too.

Julimia · 11/05/2024 15:55

Youve made your mind up its boring ....so it is. Do something about it. Many would tell you how fortunate you are. Only you can alter your mindset. X

mitogoshi · 11/05/2024 16:15

I was a sahm for 8 years and i wasn't cleaning every day, yes empty dishwasher, yes cook dinner, yes laundry about 3 times a week but plenty of time to go to groups, the park, the library, play dates. Cleaning fills whatever time you allow it to. Whipping around with the vacuum cleaner was more a weekend thing for us, though i used to sort out the kitchen whilst exh read to the dc generally

Caterina99 · 11/05/2024 16:21

I’m not a sahm now, but I was for 5 years. It definitely had boring days for sure, but we were out and about a lot. Maybe my cleaning standards were low (in fact it’s not a maybe, they still are low) but I got the basics done. I’d have gone mental if I just stayed at home all day every day.

Typical day when mine were both little - DH left for work around 8/8.30ish. We tried to go to a play date with a friend or a playgroup or a class or if nothing else then just to the park most days for around 9.30/10am. Do that for a couple of hours and then back home for lunch and nap. Eldest did 2 mornings a week at preschool that was 9-12 so on those mornings I took him there, and then usually did supermarket shop or other errands with younger one. Or a play date with friends with just babies. Then in the afternoon we’d maybe go for a walk/bike ride to the playground nearby or play in the garden or do toys and crafts at home. Tea about 5ish and then roll on the bedtime routine and daddy being home around 6/6.30. I suppose I did housework when they napped mostly and just fitted it in the day. DH used to take them out on a Saturday for a bit and I’d clean then.

Biscottiandacappuccino · 11/05/2024 16:24

@frozendaisy a lovely post! I am a SAHM to my one year old DS and absolutely love it. Your post describes how I feel.

Globemistress · 11/05/2024 18:22

I feel very empathetic! I didn’t overly enjoy my May Leave and I had an easy baby. She slept through the night, no issues with feeding and was very happy. I had a baby class booked for every weekday (bring your baby along fitness, baby yoga, baby sensory, swimming) and also did lunch with some other mums twice per week and still found it to be very repetitive and dull. There were moments of magic but I hated the constant routine and thinking ahead and dragging a load of stuff around everywhere for feeding etc. I have just gone back to work full time and am SO much happier (I love my job).

everyone is different though. Just because others say they enjoy being a SAHM doesn’t mean it’s for everyone; your feelings are perfectly valid. Just remember to try and do something for yourself every now and again because the happier you are, the better parent youlll be.
I’m very lucky that my partner and I juggle the childcare and all the housework etc now I’m back at work and we can afford nursery for 3 days a week.

Good luck, sending hugs.