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Original poster

Please help me make a decision!!!

28 replies

Bunbum · 08/05/2024 07:05

Option 1. Stay living in a small(ish) flat with no garden, on a main road BUT within an area we love and adore beyond belief. We are so grateful to be here. We have amazing schools on our doorstep, high-street is a 5 min walk away. Nearby towns are stunning. Parks all around us too. I just really do miss having a garden and…. Space in general!

Option 2. Move into an absolutely beautiful, newly renovated house with garden (which our kids would LOVE) but in an area we dislike. It’s about 30-45 mins (depending on traffic) away from here. No where to really walk to, schools don’t have a great rep and no town/high street. However the house is just beautiful, the house could offer my children such happiness. A garden, more space to play, their own rooms for when they get older etc.

I am so torn - leaning more towards staying in the flat but I do really miss certain things about having a house (especially a garden when it is nice weather). We cannot currently do many fun things in our flat.

What really is more important, location or the property?

OP posts:
Eddielizzard · 08/05/2024 07:09

Can you save while living in the flat so you can afford a garden in your much loved area in a couple of years?

KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup · 08/05/2024 07:11

I would stay where you are, save and look for a different house in a better area. Bad rep schools would swing it for me if nothing else did. There will be other houses.

rainydaysaway · 08/05/2024 07:11

Stay and carry on looking. You’ll regret moving away from an area you love.

kezzykicks · 08/05/2024 07:14

Location is the most important thing to me but it is lovely having a garden and own rooms when you have kids. I agree and would stay put but keep on looking for more of a compromise.

Original poster
Bunbum · 08/05/2024 07:16

@Eddielizzard this is partly why I considered the house because I know that house prices where we are now are just hideous. Hideous. We could save up and buy but… you get so little for your money and that’s when I think ‘is it worth it’. My brother moved away from the area to buy a lovely detached house and lives such a different life to us. Then again, in comparison to where we live it feels like he is in the middle of nowhere whenever we go to visit! Not sure i’d like that…

OP posts:
KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup · 08/05/2024 07:21

It sounds like you just need to find the right area to move to to make the compromise worth it. How old are the children?

Original poster
Bunbum · 08/05/2024 07:26

@KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup this is true. Both under 4yo and LOVE being outside. Without sounding too dramatic the garden would be game changing!

OP posts:
PickledPurplePickle · 08/05/2024 07:28

Location

LaurieFairyCake · 08/05/2024 07:33

Parks all around you - that's the difference. In summer parks are amazing

I did the second and it was the worst, 17 year decision of my life.

Stay where you are Grin

Dozycuntlaters · 08/05/2024 07:58

Definitely stay where you are.

When my marriage ended I moved out and rented a gorgeous bungalow and didn't really think about the location. And I was miserable. Everytime I drove down that road my heart sunk and even inside those lovely four walls it just didn't feel like home. Honestly if you dislike the area it's just not worth it.

NotJohnMajor · 08/05/2024 08:03

Location, location, location.

TizerorFizz · 08/05/2024 08:12

@Bunbum What is wrong with the area that the house is in? Most areas have something good about them. How well do you know the area? I’d hate the pollution from a main road and dc will make friends at any school. Not sure I’d hang on in a flat. Not much of it sounds great for dc and their wellbeing. Maybe just better for yours.

taylorswift1989 · 08/05/2024 08:25

Stay, and keep looking for somewhere that ticks both boxes. Maybe a small flat with garden in your area would be the solution? A big house soon starts to feel like a burden if you're stuck in it with nowhere to go.

taylorswift1989 · 08/05/2024 08:27

Also, having nowhere to walk to is awful for kids. So they end up spending all their time being ferried between buildings. In your current location, as they get older, they can walk to school, to the park, to town, to friends' houses. Look for somewhere your kids will be able to have some freedom and independence as they get older.

FindingMeno · 08/05/2024 08:29

When children are teenagers they will care more about being able to get to places than having a garden.
I think it could be quite isolating to move.

Blackhorse32 · 08/05/2024 08:33

Stay where you are. A garden is great, but a location you love and good schools are more important.

spadeisaspin · 08/05/2024 08:34

For me location is far more important. I'm not a homebody and we have chosen to live in a busy part of central London where we'd never be able to afford a house with garden. We have loads of amenities and attractions around us and tons of kids activities, so we are barely at home anyway. I don't like gardening so I don't really miss it. But if I did there would be an option of an allotment or community garden. We have amazing parks nearby and dcs would rather go there and use proper playground equipment and be amongst other kids, than the things you could fit into a small London garden anyway. I live having everything in my doorstep or a short tube ride away and I'd hate to have to trek to find something interesting to do. It's so hard getting out of the house with young kids that most people end up not getting out much if they don't have things within a short walking distance.

WoodBurningStov · 08/05/2024 08:44

Option 1 every day until you can afford to buy a house in an area you want to live in.

I've done both. I lived in my dream house in a not so nice area and it was awful, yes you don't see the area when you close the door but driving to the house made me sad and it didn't have what we wanted or needed in the area.

I also lived in a 1970 semi, ugly as sin for 14 years as it was in a lovely area, quiet, schools, neighbours, everything we wanted and needed in the area. I stayed so long whilst I saved up for a house I loved in an area I loved. I was happy as long as I didn't look at the outside of the house - we made the inside as nice as possible.

Beezknees · 08/05/2024 08:53

Location. Yes a garden is nice but as the children get older you will really appreciate a nicer location for them. I live in a not so great area and it's not nice bringing up a teen here.

Riverlee · 08/05/2024 08:57

C) wait and look for a house in a slightly better area . Maybe not as nice as area you’re in now, but not as hideous as B).

JLT24 · 08/05/2024 09:02

Location definitely.

Could you buy a small house or a flat with a garden/terrace in your current location in a few years if you save?

Could you find an area that has everything you need but is cheaper than your current area? What about one of the nearby towns you love?

mjf981 · 08/05/2024 09:07

If it was just you or you and a partner, I'd say where you are.
However, with children, I'd really want them to have a house and garden. So I'd work towards that. Can you buy a smaller/less 'done' house but in a better location than option 2?

Toomuch44 · 08/05/2024 09:11

Be careful what you give up, you can't go back. If you're unsure as a couple, then I'd stay where you are for now, save whatever you can or actually pay extra off the mortgage, so you have extra funds, no matter how big or small. Might be something comes up in the future, that's a bit nearer to home and you could work at doing up as and when - we ended up gutting our first home over 15 years, but initially painted a few rooms which made all the difference.

littleoldme1 · 08/05/2024 09:23

As someone who recently made a similar decision, I say stay where you are.

We had a small house, wasn't really ideal size for our family any more. It was in a good spot for us, everything in walking distance, decent neighbours.

About 6 months ago we moved to a new build house, perfect house for what we need or wanted. It's however in an area where everywhere we go, we need to drive - other than walking the dog but even that's annoying now because it's the same route or a drive out to walk somewhere better.

I love my house that I have now but I am miserable and wishing I hadn't made the move. While I don't miss my old house it's self as it wasn't really suitable anymore, I'd go back to that in an instant if I could just because of the location.

Maybe time will change my mind, but I have definitely struggled adapting to the new location.

That said, your experience could be totally different to mine. I wish you the best whatever you decide :)

Eddielizzard · 08/05/2024 09:47

Even so, I think you should stay and do your best to save. Even if you buy tiny, long term it's worth it.

We stayed and gritted our teeth for years but we're so so happy we didn't move. We managed to get a better property in the end and I really don't think I'll ever move unless I'm forced.

You have to think longer term. Right now your DC are little and a garden seems the be all and end all. But in a few years that really won't be the case. Make the most of those local parks. Get out there with picnics. A hassle, sure. Much easier to open the garden door. But you won't be thinking about that when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere and your teenagers want to meet up with their friends at all hours.

Keep focussed, see if you can make a little extra cash here and there to set aside?

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