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Please stop judging me.

5 replies

Yesitsme23 · 07/05/2024 21:09

Childhood: learning difficulties, sexual abuse, parent separation no contact with mother. Self harming probably due to abuse.

Adult: brief DV relationship. Social services input due to risks . Father gets cancer have to look after him and watch him die.

2 evictions due to section 21 temporary accommodation for several years.

Child with autism, and learning difficulties. another with emotional disregulation. Another with bipolar, Dv from teenager due to emotional disregulation.

Daughter in dv relationship. That lead to heavy involvement of social services. Almost lead to her loosing her children. She had to stay with me alot weeks / months . Both of our families got urgently moved under life in danger.

I must add Dd has not followed my pattern. My situation was very brief my daughter was also only 9 months old at the time. She's now mid 20s.

I may not have always managed in the best ways. But i have coped completely on my own. Without any support at all. Many people would not cope with the things I have Been through.

There are lovely people on MN there really is. But there are a handful that are pretty judgemental. Which I have experience for many years.

Just because it has not happend to you does not mean it's not true . Because you think you have the answers does not mean you do. This is not meant to sound offensive. But in many cases there are long waiting list for help and a very strict criteria.

I have been accused of being many things and I'm not them. And I'm certainly not to blame and I put my children a million miles before myself.

This post will mean nothing to 99% of people on here . But I just needed to say it as its been going on for years.

OP posts:
hurlyburlygirly · 07/05/2024 21:39

It all sounds incredibly tough. You must have so much resilience. I have a huge amount of respect for that.

People who judge without seeking to understand a situation now don't matter to me. It's been really liberating to get to this point.

Flowers
Priminister · 07/05/2024 21:50

If you are who I think you are, then with all due respect, prefacing your post with a load of mitigations is manipulative and you’re angling for specific responses.

I’m genuinely sorry you’ve have a tough time and you need to be kind to yourself. But you also need to accept that you have kids and the relentless posts about your shithole house which you apparently can’t sort out without multiple posts on MN and cheerleaders driving you on are not doing you any favours.

Yesitsme23 · 07/05/2024 22:02

Priminister · 07/05/2024 21:50

If you are who I think you are, then with all due respect, prefacing your post with a load of mitigations is manipulative and you’re angling for specific responses.

I’m genuinely sorry you’ve have a tough time and you need to be kind to yourself. But you also need to accept that you have kids and the relentless posts about your shithole house which you apparently can’t sort out without multiple posts on MN and cheerleaders driving you on are not doing you any favours.

I rest my case 2nd post and here it is ....

And my house is fine thank you . Hence it was helpful and it also helped others. I have since seem other posters make their own threads about their homes . Please don't ( tell) me what I find helpful.

OP posts:
Yesitsme23 · 07/05/2024 22:05

hurlyburlygirly · 07/05/2024 21:39

It all sounds incredibly tough. You must have so much resilience. I have a huge amount of respect for that.

People who judge without seeking to understand a situation now don't matter to me. It's been really liberating to get to this point.

Flowers

Thank you . Its very hard to work out if people are just being nasty or if they sincerely do not understand. I hope to think its the 2nd but it does not often feel that way. I could be wrong of course.

Its hard work but i know I'm a strong person even if I don't always feel it .

OP posts:
SwishMyCape · 07/05/2024 22:08

OP. I'm sorry you have suffered such horrors.

Anonymous forums have their uses but they can be sources of validation or conflict and neither is good for mental health.

I repeat, I am sorry you had such an awful start to your life.

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