So over the last few years I became really interested in and aware of the way I communicate.
It came around because my sister was having some counselling with regards to anxiety and maintaining non toxic relationships and I found a lot of the thought processes and tools she was given helpful too.
For example women subconsciously feeling the the need to communicate in a passive and almost apologetic way compared to there male equals who often will come across as much more blunt and yet never considered short or rude.
Another thing that came up and I was (and now try hard not to be) very guilty off was relating topics back to me in conversation with someone, that can be as simple as “I went on holiday to Spain” and me answering “wow we also went on holiday to Spain, we really enjoyed it, we visited a sea food restaurant and went back 3 times” to much deeper talks such a grief, trauma etc.
”We very sadly lost a baby”
“I absolutely understand, I had a miscarriage, it was a horrific time, we fell pregnant in the November….carries on taking about their own situation….”
While I like to think I was much more aware than the latter example I did (and do ) sometimes feel the pull to use my own experiences as a way of relating and communicating.
DSIS councillor spoke quite in-depth of the importance of holding space for someone to communicate and it’s ok to just listen and accept that their is own experience must have been very hard/happy/exciting. Once I became aware of this the level of difficulty I had holding back told me how important it was for me to learn to do exactly that.
The reason this has just came to mind is for two reasons, My mil who does this to extreme (think latter example given but in every conversation she has) and also because I seen a reel the other day saying that it’s often a sign of ND, finding common ground and easy way to communicate though relating experiences and as I would consider myself ND why it was likely that I found it quite hard to stop.
Im interested to know I’d anyone else finds theirselves doing similar or are aware of the same people doing over and over again and also if their is a ND link.
Also does for further interest, does it annoy you and would you do something about it.