I am genuinely happy with my single life

[Gripnot]

But annoy myself by constantly seeking male attention.

I've been single for the last 3 years (in my 50s) for the first time as an adult.

I'm loving life. I'm financially comfortable, good rewarding job that I don't have to work too hard at these days, have many trips each year both alone and with friends, some good close friends and a wide social life, many interests, nice mortgage free home I don't have to share. Rarely a free weekend.

I don't want to change my lifestyle or be tied to anyone and will never share a home or finances again.

However, whenever I meet men, I know I'm looking for them to like me, in a way I don't when I meet new female friends and I spend far too long checking my phone for messages from said men.

Possibly FWB is the answer, but I think I'd be rubbish at sex without getting emotionally involved.

So what is the answer for an independent life with some intimacy?

Is the need for male attention something we are programmed with? Can I change it in myself?

how are you meeting all these single men?! online dating?

tbh it doesn’t sound like you’re “genuinely happy” being single

you just want a casual relationship

No, I'm not dating.

I have a busy social life and meet new people at events, travelling, friends of friends all the time.

Well yes, there's something missing, but I really don't want "a relationship".

really? lots of single men in the fifties?

why not just do casual dating?

to get intimacy
there has to be a relationship

It really isn't hard to find a man who wants to have sex - dating apps, local bars, friends of friends etc. What is hard is finding one who isn't married, can get it up and isn't going to cocklodge with you - because you sound like you have got your stuff together.

I have a similar life to yours, a decade younger, and I have no intention of getting involved with another man again, but if you do I'd suggest not having him in your house, especially at the start. It's not safe to be alone with a stranger but also you don't want them to know where you live if they get weird. Lots of men seem to get weird quickly these days, particularly single men who are over 40.

The middle ground OP, find someone to date and keep it light. Sex, friendship, going out places, maybe seeing once a week.

Many men in 50s want that too

bloody hell OP

just read the other thread you started an hour ago

Yes? 50s ish anyway. I go to lots of things other single people go to and if you anywhere on your own, you tend meet others who have done the same.

Plus once you're a single woman all your friends introduce you to their single male friends.

I am out and about a lot. You meet people.

Obviously I've been out of the game for a really long time, but I don't know how to do casual. Obviously it's all casual to begin with, but if you get along, how do you keep it that way?