Can antidepressants really change your life for the better?

[Suchafrabjousday]

For decades (well, if I’m truly honest, since childhood) I have struggled with anxiety, ocd behaviours, panic disorders and overthinking.

I have always tried to just cope. Truth is that I don’t cope, I struggle with everything. The anxiety turns physical and I live with constant aches, pains, a terrible gut which rules my life and causes me more anxiety (endless tests just keep coming back as anxiety induced IBS) and general every day feeling of shittiness.

I have tried everything to elevate all of this:- endless CBT and counselling, EMDR, hypnotherapy, foods, relaxation, mindfulness etc etc etc but the truth is that I think some of us are just born this way?
No amount of positive thinking, changing my thought processes completely ever eases this.
For me it’s like keeping a weedy garden clear, you can keep it at bay by constantly pulling out the weeds but they keep growing back. I know deep down that the only real solution for me is probably antidepressants, maybe they will be like the Roundup I need to finally tackle my weed-ridden brain garden?!

However, and in true full on anxiety style, I am petrified of antidepressants. I have had endless prescriptions given and as soon as I pluck up the courage to take them I will Google reviews (I know) and find endless reviews of people stating these drugs have caused them all kind of additional issues such as terrible diarrhoea (I have awful IBS at the best of times, the thought of that getting worse terrifies me), dizziness, being out into a zombie-like state, headaches, malaise etc and wishing they had never taken them. I know no one who has a great time with anything will take to the internet to sing its praises, they are gleefully getting on with their lives but tell my brain that, it sucks up the negatives like a giant sponge.

But I’m struggling so much and don’t know what else to do to feel like I can enjoy the rest of my life. I’m 51 and want to enjoy what I’ve got left. I have spent the last 51 years in a state of anxiety and general anxiousness over everything about life and living.

I am sitting here looking at my latest box of antidepressants and knowing they will probably join the giant drawer of unopened medicines because of my fear and I am so fucking angry with myself.

I have always been low level
depressed / I catastrophise everything I've now lost all motivation and buying clothes / interiors (which I used to love) has lost its magic and I think 'what's the point'

i am 45 so I do t know if it's peri or depression - how am I surprised to know what I should take? Anti depressants or HRT?

Best of luck OP, keep us updated and we can help you along if you're feeling scared. I promise you can do this!

I work in an industry where I see the hugely positive benefit of them - a lot of people wouldn't be here without them.

I personally didn't get on with them when I needed support for a fairly mild bout of depression. I didn't like the flat mood, so I tried lifestyle changes etc instead

An industry where people benefit from ADs? Wracks brain.

There's plenty of them, do you not agree?

You could ask on the menopause board on here, but I think they recommend trying HRT first. I'm on HRT and fluoxetine, to help me through. But I was on the fluoxetine already and the GP added in the HRT.

Im sorry, I don't know. I can't imagine. Teachig maybe?

Anti-depressants work brilliantly for some people as it helps to get them out of the quick sand and onto dry land so that they can get to work on other areas of their life that might be at the root cause. As a Trauma Informed Coach and Clinical Hypnotherapist we are taught that the root cause of depression is a lost connection to your inner world (which can be caused by emotional bypassing in childhood) and lost connections to others (which is becoming increasing worse in our 'online' culture). It can also be not following your hearts desire or not having the ability to due to financial, time or locational limitations. All of these factors affect our seratonin levels. Either way, it seems like there are some good comments on this thread that might help you to feel more confident at trying them.

Also the other thing you might consider looking into is Cold Water Therapy. There's some real research unpinning the value of CWT in the treatment of depression. Depression, according to Poly Vagal Theory, is when the nervous system is stuck in a functional freeze response caused by hyper activation of the dorsal vagal branch of the para-sympathetic nervous system. Because this branch of the PNS is un-mylinated electrical signals don't travel quickly (unlike the sympathetic branch), that's why we can get stuck in depression relatively easily. Cold Water Therapy, because of it's activating nature, literally forces energy through the nervous system to get you out of that stuck state. There are also other factors as well that may contribute to it's success, such as being out in nature and participating in CWT with other people bringing more oxytocin (the connection/bonding hormone) to the system.

I hope some of this helps. I hope you feel better soon.

What would you suggest for lost connection to others, because its definitely getting worse and worse for me.

There are many things you can do to aid connection to others. Does your doctor do social prescribing? Some doctors prescribe social gardening or exercise classes. I would also recommend reading the book Lost Connections by Johann Hari or watching some of his YouTube videos related to that book. He has lots of great ideas about how to reclaim connections. If you're not connecting to others because of social anxiety, sometimes it helps to learn more about the art of conversation. Conversation is a skill that can foster deeper levels of connection with others which helps you feel seen, safe and validated. These states can help to lift depression. There's a really good channel on YouTube called How Communication Works.

I also wonder if there's something in your history that made you feel very different and therefore outcast? If you're still carrying that narrative from the past into your present, that may be driving isolation. The key is to learn how to take your power back.

I hope this helps.

Your first paragraph makes a lot of sense to me and tbh, if I won the lottery one of the first things I would do is to pay for in-depth therapy, much deeper than the NHS has ever offered me.
I do believe my anxiety issues stem back from my childhood and are currently driven by pent up and unresolved issues but I don’t have the finances to explore that with therapy and sadly the NHS just offer my typed CBT (I have had many CBT sessions).

I have been interested in cold water therapy for some time but not sure if it would help me as I suffer from Raynauds.

@Suchafrabjousday - I have been on antidepressants for years, and to be honest, I can't see myself ever coming off them. To answer your question, yes, they do improve my quality of life - they help me maintain a fairly even mood - it is lower than I'd like but a whole lot better than I've been at my worst, so I'm content with that as a baseline, if that makes sense.

I also have IBS and lymphocytic colitis (a microscopic colitis that causes symptoms like IBS), and the antidepressants I am on - prozac and mirtazipine (which is good for anxiety as well as depression, hence being on the combination of the two) haven't caused me any extra issues with my IBS symptoms.

One thing that you might like to know is this - my GI consultant says that, in a lot of people, their IBS is caused, at least partly, by bile acid. This is produced by the liver and goes into the small intestines, where it has a job in helping with digestion. It should be reabsorbed by the body before it reaches the large intestine, but in people with IBS, this reabsorption may not be happening, so the bile acid ends up in the large intestine where it causes inflammation and IBS symptoms.

He put me on a tablet called cholestyramine which is a bile acid binder - it binds to the bile acids before they reach the large intestine, so they can pass through it harmlessly - no more inflammation. I have been on this for 5 years now, two tablets morning and evening, and I can honestly say that it has improved my symptoms immensely.

It hasn't taken them away completely - but the improvement has been really beneficial, and I would honestly recommend it to anyone with IBS.

I've been on escitalopram since 2008 and it's changed my life.

For me, yes. I was a shy, anxious child and now I look back at how much I was often sick with worry, unable to speak in groups, the stuff I avoided doing, the things I missed out on as I was so scared of everything I realise how not normal it was. I have also had long periods of not being happy.

I had antidepressants a couple of times but stopped due to the side effects but then in my early 30s had fluoxetine as I was going through some stress that was making me physically unwell, along with severe depression. They saved my life at that point but yes, have changed it. I have been off them nearly two years now, after taking for three and its like my brain has reset. I'm slightly more anxious than when I was taking them, but it ebbs and flows. I am now more confident, almost as not feeling the anxiety has made me realise what I can do without it.

I gained four stone, put up with the brain zapps as I was starting them and the slow withdrawal of stopping them and they made me horribly sweaty. But for me it was worth it and I'd go back on them in a heartbeat if I needed to.

Thats interesting. I have fewer and fewer opportunites for conversation.

Really good to know those meds don’t upset your gut issues, I have the fluoxetine at home and really do need to start taking it.

I’ve had so many tests over the years. 2 colonoscopies (last one took biopsies for microscopic colitis), a pill camera endoscopy, a gastroscope and last year a seCHAT scan for bile acid malabsorption. As that came back clear my gastro sadly won’t prescribe me the binders.

LifeExperience Escitalopram has been suggested to me in the past, good to know it helps you. I’ll keep that one in mind.

Blarn I won’t lie, weight gain has been one of the other reasons that I’ve put off antidepressants for a long time. I had an eating disorder as a child and disordered eating now as an adult, food, weight gain and my gut issues are huge anxiety triggers for me . I greatly fear weight gain so this would be a big issue for me. Most of my family members who have taken antidepressants (including my sister who is still on them) have gained a lot of weight and that’s made me quite hesitant. It’s something I would really have to consider.

Yes, literally changed my life. I have become qualified as a teacher and taken on roles I would simply have been far too anxious to have contemplated before. I have told the GP they can prize them from my cold dead hand before I will come off them. Thankfully they agree. Do not suffer. There is no need.

I just wanted to add that I totally recognise the bit about getting them prescribed and then still not taking them. It took me years to go to the GP and then when I did go I didn’t pick up the prescription. It was probably about 6 months later that I reordered and then a few months after that that I finally bit the bullet and started them. My only regret is not doing it sooner.

Anti depressants started me bleeding within 2 days after been through menopause. I stopped them and didn't restart.

Apparently weight gain isn't a given and is unlikely with fluoxetine. I started gaining weight when I was still eating the same small amount of food (not eating so dc could was part of the reason for the stress and depression spiraling) so it was definitely linked. I was so slim as a teen, I still worried I was fat, had terrible eating habits, made myself sick sometimes. I'm now about a stone overweight but because I feel so much more confident it doesn't bother me as much as it once would have. For me, it was a side effect that was worth it. And I am slowly loosing the weight since stopping them without even trying.

Stress and anxiety flares up my ibs. I had terrible diarrhoea on one AD but was fine with fluoextine. Getting the right one is hard though.

Yes, without a doubt!
I can say hand on heart that I would not be here today without them

For me yes. I am still taking them years later. There was some trial and error and it doesn’t happen overnight.

Unusually I have partly a physical cause for mental illness (brain injury). However I did have some depression before that. I have regular blood tests to ensure physical health as they can have side effects to liver for some people. I have tried to reduce with my symptoms returning.
I regard it like my epilepsy medication. I wouldn’t stop that just because the pharmaceutical industry makes money out of it or that there are other important things I can do to prevent seizures.

My AD is part of my tool kit. I’ve had therapy as well and currently need to get back to meditation.

These posts are bittersweet to read. So happy for everyone that they have helped but sad that I'm not one of them. I suffer with extreme anxiety and low mood. Ssri and snri meds multiplied this symptoms x 100. Endless therapy and still the same. Basically just a horrible, draining person who can't see no light on and off medication. At a very low period at the moment. Physiatrist has offered me agomelatine and after being hesitant to begin after the painful going on and coming off medication before, I am now going to try it. Am mum of one and need to function.