Neighbours have invited us for a bbq and I'm dreading it

[oguhnotorbiike]

I love my neighbours, they really are lovely people but their house is dirty and I am overly funny about cleanliness when it comes to food.

They are doing a bbq for us to thank us for looking after their dogs while they go on holiday, also we've had a new drive laid and paid for the extra to improve theirs so the bbq is to thank us.
I've said yes but I'm just dreading it. Even the thought of having a drink out their glasses makes me feel sicky.

I know people will think I'm overreacting but it's just the way I feel. How can I get round this?!

Just have a bad tummy on the day and take water in a bottle, say it’s got Diaoralite in it, nip to the loo regularly and say you’re whacked out and go at 10pm. Should work as long as you are low key and don’t go dancing on tables

Bring your own glass and say you just love drinking out of it. Offer to bring a salad and eat that and a very well done burger!

How bad is their house?

I feel your pain. I would have made an excuse to refuse in the first place. I think saying yes then not eating the food that they had paid for is mean.

Take bottles or cans of beer and drink without a
glass.

You paid extra to improve their driveway? Wow, you really are an amazing neighbour. Can you cancel? Just give them lots of notice so they are not out of pocket with the food costs. Not sure what excuse you could give though. If you have to go then take a little refillable water bottle (I’ve got a metal one) and insist on drinking out of that. Just tell them you like water. In regards to the food, can you get over there nice and early and offer to help prepare the food? You can then make sure everything is cooked properly and put on clean plates etc. Even better buy some paper disposable plates etc and tell them you purchased them to help so there is no cleaning up after.

Take bottles of Kabucha which is a little niche and say you are drinking this.

If you've said yes it's likely your going to have a eat something as they are buying in food specifically for you. Bring napkins/paper plates and maybe some salads so you can have a side and eat only their burger.

This would be a nightmare for me.

Why dont you suggest going out to the local pub. Say its easier with weather etc. Tell tejm you will go halfs. They can buy 0you a drink as a thank you

Arghhh we have a similar set up with our neighbours!
I adore them and to be fair they do try and keep their house in order but they have dogs and they stink so badly, all the cups and plates etc smell of dog 😭
We don’t have dogs so I think the smell is even more obvious to us. I have another friend with a dog and she washes the bedding, sofa throws etc weekly, steams her hard floors every day and I’ve never actually smelt dog in her house.
When we go to the neighbours I tend to pour myself a drink at home and then just take my full glass next door, say I’d already poured one so thought I’d just bring it round and then can just top up into it.
And I try and eat enough to not look rude!
It’s hard, I hope I don’t sound judgy and rude, we love them, they’re such kind people but the dog smell (and hair) is too much.

Just tell them the offer is really kind but to be honest a BBQ isn't your thing- agree with suggesting the pub lunch as an alternative and they can get you a drink.

Ask your partner to take one for the team and you stay home "sick."

I feel your pain, op. I would be totally put off.

I feel your pain. I was asked to dry some washed plates that were needed as extras at a bbq and the drying up towel I was handed stunk so badly I could’ve cried handing out the plates (some of which my DC used 😕) - I used a napkin ‘to save the washing up’ and ate very little.

Some people are absolutely minging. We weren’t ill and I know people laugh and say ‘nobody died’ but it’s very unpleasant knowing that your hosts aren’t hygienic around food and tableware.

People often bring their own meat to contribute to a barbecue so I would do that and also make a salad or another side dish. Paper plates and cups also a good idea from a PP. I never eat the food cooked at BBQ as it is often undercooked or overcooked so I stick to the salads and bread. You could bring that too. It’s surprisingly easy to avoid eating food your hosts have cooked. Especially if it dark and they have dogs. 😂

It's hard because we are literally next door neighbours and our dc like playing together, I'd struggle to lie about an illness because ds would out me 😂
They know we love bbqs at ours so can't say we don't like them; plus me being a people pleaser just said yes straight away in a panic 😩🙈
DH said why don't we offer to do it here but it's their way of thanking us so think they'd find it weird

drink beer or cider, direct out of the bottle

offer to do it if they bring the meat?

Just suck it up. Bring your own bottles of beer & cans of soft drinks & drink out of those. Bring some plastic wine glasses if you have to and say it’s to save on their washing up. They are obviously healthy & their children are too so eating at their house won’t make you ill.