Snapchat help

[NauseousNancy]

My SD really wants Snapchat, she’s 11. It’s how all her friends communicate now so she’s being left out of plans.

I've looked into it, and it seems the main issues are:

disappearing messages
location showing
streaks meaning they can become addictive
messages from strangers

I think you can stop location from showing, and block non friends from contacting you so those are ok. She watches YouTube shorts which I imagine are similar to the public posting side of it.

streaks I could talk to her about, but is a worry - god forbid she can’t do her duolingo for her streak.

disappearing messages is where it gets me. She has been bullied at school before. However, she says it’s just like how you can delete on WhatsApp now and it’ll delete even if it’s been seen.

can anyone help? Can you set it so things don’t disappear - does it work on both sides? My worry is she’ll get bullied and there will be zero proof. She has WhatsApp and hasn’t had any bother on there with bullying but it feels harder to be hidden there?

I hate the thought of it (hate that she even has a smartphone) but is it ‘safer’ than I think? Is it no different to WhatsApp/watching YouTube as she says?

It’s very different to WA and YT.

Also the age limit is 12, but I guess it isn’t policed.

She can hide her location (and she should). Streaks have been stupidly addictive for my DC, and they’re much older (they weren’t allowed it until 14).

I guess bullying can happen anywhere though.

I think you can screenshot messages before they disappear. But she’s probably too young to know what to screenshot.

Personally id say no, but appreciate in todays world im probably out of touch…

It’s the worst of them all! Delay as long as possible!

She could screenshot, that’s true. But like you say at 11 would she know what to. She’s really bright, very trustworthy etc.

I really want to get my head round it all as her mum is fine with it, it’s me and her dad who aren’t so we are the baddies right now.

Can you make it so things don’t disappear? I have seen you can do that with messages, what about snaps?

Bump help!

100% no
And you cannot control what she receives

You can save messages in chat by holding down - it's very easy. Also if need be you could probs take a picture with your phone of the screen for example.

I'd say do your best to try and keep her off it for as long as possible but if she's really desperate, as long as you monitor it, it isn't awful but it can be dangerous so be careful. I personally am not a fan and my daughter also got it at 11 but stopped using it recently because she thinks it's stupid.

Is your 11 year old in primary or secondary? Because if she's still in primary just tell her to wait till September.

My daughter is 13 and it's a hard no from me. She begged from late junior school and she's now in year 8 and has survived without it.
I feel I can 'police' WhatsApp in a way I can't Snapchat.

I know you can control who send things, as the settings can be done so only people you have added can sent you things.

My biggest worry is about things disappearing. I can see now messages can be saved. What about images? Can you put text on images?

She’s still in primary.

Why on earth does a primary school child have a smart phone? Ffs.

Every single person across both classes do - so 50 kids.

Not delighted about it but it’s very normal for her age group.

No from me too for my dd. The disappearing messages is just NOPE. I’ve also said that disappearing messages on WhatsApp will result in her phone being taken away

My logic with WhatsApp is kind of at least you can still see WHO sent a message if it’s deleted?

From what I understand of Snapchat that’s not the case?

DD got snapchat at 13 - I set up an account so her account could be linked to mine via Family Centre and we locked her account down. I can see who she has been sending snaps to and her friendship list. However I can’t see what she has been sending. There’s no way I’d have allowed it at 11. I didn’t allow what’s app until the very end of primary. (DD wasn’t happy until a load of unpleasantness kicked off in the groups and she wasn’t involved and admitted she felt relieved.)

I see the family one which would at least mean I knew who was sending her things.

I just think she’s too young. Her mum thinks it’s ok though so it’s trying to have a good reason that is important - which is why I’m trying to understand how it works.

Mum says yes, all my friends have it. Very hard to argue against this.

Personally I think Snapchat is in the cesspit of SM, it's just too secretive for my liking. This is why bullies like it and it's not just direct bullying sone really weird stuff gets shared. Fake weird stuff.

But if she is going to get it ground rules, she tells you immediately if anything nasty or weird is sent, uses it in the open, shoes you her account whenever you ask. Make her aware she can delete it any time. Warn her it might all end in tears.

It doesn’t matter what all the other kids are doing.

If you want to be a responsible parent then she shouldn’t even have a phone, let alone social media.

Snapchat is the devil, it’s a predator’s hunting ground. I would say a hard no at primary school and kick it into the long grass till September at least.

She's too young for Snapchat. It's not a no, just a not yet.

Yes you can save messages or take screenshots but the other people will know, so that's a whole other drama.

If they're real friends they'll keep in touch on WA too. It's still a thing with that age group. She might have to put some extra effort in to make sure she keeps in touch and talks to people so they don't "forget" about her ,make a groupchat etc.