Autistic girls.

[User464367326788434654]

any advice? I have DS 13 who is autistic, diagnosed aged 5.

I also have DD 9. She has some needs but not as obvious or severe as DS.

she’s not under any professionals at current but she has an EHCP, she has speech issues, she is dyslexic, potentially dyspraxia, some sensory needs and pretty significant academic struggles amongst other things such as high anxiety levels, dislike or change etc. she also has a short attention span.

I do think she could be on the spectrum or have adhd but no one is taking me seriously. I think it’s because she already has an EHCP the school just use that as an excuse not to refer but also because she doesn’t disrupt the class or have any behavioural issues they aren’t doing anything.

with your girls have you been told they are categorically not autistic in the past but they’ve ended up with a diagnosis later on?

the last year her anxiety has got really bad too!!

the gap between her and peers has widened. She had always been pretty popular up until recently but I feel like she’s being left behind now, she’s struggling with negotiate friendships and she’s a bit of a pushover so she’s pretty vulnerable too.

It certainly sounds like an assessment would be sensible.
Go to your GP. Tell her / him what you have put here, and ask them to refer you.

My daughter was diagnosed last year, aged 15. I first raised concerns over her behaviour to the health visitor when she was 2. And her primary school aged 6. All anyone else saw was that she was quiet, a bit of a loner and emotionally immature (cried easily). What I got at home was complete after-school collapse - tantrums, tears, aggression, regression. But because she was a model child at school, it was always "we don't see what you see". Until it all got too much for her and she point blank refused to go to school and said she wanted to die. GP spotted the signs straight away.

You know best. I'd adapted to my daughter's needs for years without really appreciating what I was doing - buying clothes she was comfy in, foods she would eat, not forcing her to order in restaurants or talk if she was uncomfortable. It was only once I started to answer the questionnaires it became blindingly obvious her behaviour was not that of a typical child (she's my only child).

Write down everything, refer to autistic girls network for more typical signs in girls, then visit the GP for a referral.

If this anecdotal experience is true across a population of autistic girls and boys then that is very significant. It means that boys are getting early help and support but girls are denied it because they mask it well and aren’t as ‘troublesome’. That is not fair or ok.

Nope knew from 2 my girl has never masked she wouldn't know how to.

Definitely push for an assessment if that’s what you think will help?

ASD presents differently in girls.

Our school were borderline on it as DD didn’t qualify on the initial test. Got 6/24.

But then eventually it was a yes. It’s not up to a school to diagnose it.

Please push for an assessment(s) x
I am dyslexic, dyspraxic, and was recently diagnosed as autistic but I wasn't diagnosed until university.
I think the only reason I flew under the radar according to the people who diagnosed me was I was I wasn't a boy, I was quiet and didn't cause the teachers much trouble.

Thanks all, in my area it seems that schools have to make the referrals 🫣 which is why I’m annoyed at the school for being dismissive because she’s quiet and compliant. I may make a gps appointment though as it may push the school to do more.

we have recently sent off an OT refferal for dyspraxia assessment but we are thinking of going private somehow if that isn’t successful… although it’s obvious she has DCD, there’s a lack of OT’s where we live and services are poor!

I feel like a diagnosis is important as I’m worried sick about her going to secondary school. Although she has an ehcp, I think she needs an official diagnosis alongside it whether it’s autism or adhd or both - she has traits of both.