A neighbour one

[NailsHairNipsHeels]

How do I deal with an overbearing neighbour?

I recently moved to a new area, the day I moved neighbour saw me carrying stuff in and introduced themself and told me a wee bit about the area. All very nice and normal interactions.

Pretty much since then it's like I have a stalker:
-She found me on social media, where I don't use my name, and now messages most days
-Invites me round for coffee, lunch, dinner at least weekly
-I can't go into the garden without her being there immediately and wanting to chat even if I've just been out pegging washing/putting bins out/it's raining
-Messages as soon as I get home as she can see my car arriving. Usually just inane chat, this is when she usually extents the invites to pop round
-I worked overtime a few times and she messaged to see if I was ok as I wasn't home at the usual time and she was worried
I've tried ignoring messages. Telling her I'm busy and can't chat. Declined invitations and just been a bit standoffish but it's not working.
Today I came home from work and was having a wee nap on the sofa. She saw me as she walked past and knocked the door to check I was ok
It's getting ridiculous I just want a normal polite neighbourly relationship

That was short lived. In the door 2mins and a message, now blocked. Put rubbish out and hang out washing, she was straight out wanting to chat.

I've told her I blocked her on messenger because it's just too much and that while I don't want to fall out the level of involvement needs to stop.
We're neighbours not friends and I can't bear feeling like everything I do is monitored.
She listened but didn't respond and went back inside this better be the end of it

Oh no!! How could she…I really hoped she’d get the message after what you said yesterday. Well done for being so assertive with her. Sounds like you were very clear.

Interesting that she didn’t respond to you. I bet this has happened before. I would keep record of any communications or incidents just in case she carries on. But fingers crossed!

Does she call you baby reindeer??

Her last neighbour probably wasn't her best friend, more like her stalking victim 😬

Just stick to your guns.

Oh goodness that would bloody irritate me too! Hope
That's now worked!

She looks a bit like Martha

At least I got a post work nap in peace today so it's worked on that part.
I felt terrible being so abrupt but it's really been bothering me this last week and today just tipped me over the edge.

You had every reason to be bothered. That kind of surveillance is really unbearable. It sounds like abruptness was the only way to get through to her.

Hope you get some peace and space now.

The fact that rather than ask you your name, she contacted the vendor of your house for it is shocking. It shows a deceitful frame of mind.

I would be quite interested in whether she has form for this behaviour. It gives you an idea of whether it is likely to resolve or not.

How long did the previous owner live at the property, and how long has "Martha" lived nextdoor? Was there a long crossover, or did Martha move in and the previous owner sell up quickly within a year or so? Or vice versa, the previous owner sold up very quick after moving in. That will be your answer....

If it all starts to escalate and you heavily suspect the previous owner has hidden the truth, then approach your solicitor who handled your purchase and ask about what can be done if you suspect the vendor has lied. Most likely nothing, but you could pursue compensation if you can prove the truth was concealed e.g. police involvement and formal complaints.