Altruism and kindness

[merrymelodies]

Thinking about kindness and wondering if more of it could change society?

It exists, people do it, it's life. Yes, more would help obviously but it's not going to solve anything major.
Have you got something in mind?

Yes, definitely. I honestly believe humans have lost their way, and forgotten the meaning of life and our purpose here.
We're absolutely here to love and to learn to love.
People have somehow got confused and think it's about being competitive etc. But, we're not supposed to compete with eachother; we're supposed to help eachother.
We're an incredible species, with so much potential, we just need to get back on track! ♥️

I'm actually writing an essay on altruism and I was hoping MN could help me brainstorm.

Write your own essay. Honestly.

I don’t really believe in altruism. I get a positive benefit for me when I do something positive for someone else so I never find it to be a completely selfless act.

@AsYouMightBe You're clearly not altruistic! 😂

Reminds me of the friends episode where phoebe tries to do a selfless act. Also write your own essay.

I totally agree with you

Who said we were here to learn and love? We are animals with inherent heirarchy and competition, odd.

That's a bit reductive. We're also here to nurture, protect and connect with each other. We'd not have survived if we weren't fundamentally co-operative.

Like all social animals, we don’t cooperate and protect out of altruism - we do it because from an evolutionary perspective it’s of benefit to each of us to nurture mutually beneficial social relationships which help ensure our survival. Historically, people in communities have helped and supported their neighbours because they know they too will likely require help and support at some point in the future and building up a “favour bank” is the best way to ensure others feel minded to return the favours.

I suppose the question would be whether kindness and generosity needs to be altruistic? What’s wrong with acknowledging self-interest behind kind or generous acts and performing them with reciprocity in mind?

I'm something of a 'watcher' in life and I think altruism does exist but that we get tainted as we age or as others do us wrong. I have watched children at the playground (while watching my own) and often they're both selfish and selfless. Whilst there are playground battles for turns on swings or slides or an urge to win a race - when a fellow child falls or gets upset quite often there are times of instinctive self sacrifice from one child to another. I've seen a young child run and pick a daisy to give to a crying toddler who was sad they fell, another who offered their scooter to a child crying for a turn on the swing - and many instances of children just giving a hug or talking to/reassuring a child who was a stranger before their trip to the park.

I've seen adults sometimes do this also - but more often be in a hurry or feel too awkward and simply walk on by when it comes to the vulnerable. I do think our natural instincts may be to help people but that we put our own barriers in for whatever reason to stop ourselves.

If you get chance, read Divergent by Veronica Roth. It is one of those teen dystopia type books which on the surface you might not fancy, but it is an easy read, and it made me think long and hard about the difference between the competing factions - happy kind people (Amity) Selfless, duty bound people (Abnegation) and the Erudite (can be "kind" but are calculating).

We are also, I hope, somewhat more civilised than other animal species.

I'm an English teacher and we talk about this a lot when we teach A Christmas Carol and An Inspector Calls. Altruistic is a key word.

There's a great deal of empathy in the broader animal kingdom too -

http://thescienceexplorer.com/nature/empathy-more-common-animal-kingdom-thought

Lots of people are very kind. I have just returned from an overnight volunteering job with 8 or 9 other people - no body had to be there, we could all have been tucked up in bed instead. What have you done in the last 24 hours OP?

Very much agree with this

Just ordered these thanks for the recommendation

Sorry, I didn't properly read through that article before posting it 🤭 Just have now, and realise it discusses animal experiments that, as a vegan and animal lover, I strongly disagree with, and found upsetting to read. I'm so sorry. I read the title and got a bit ahead of myself. Tried to edit, but the edit function didn't seem to be available for that post.
I'll try to find another article that references observations in the natural world.
I've seen it anyway with my own eyes with the dogs I grew up with. Incredible empathy if ever I was upset.
I do, personally, think kindness and empathy are natural.

I understand what you're saying. I definitely get a warm glow if I feel I've helped someone else, and I do enjoy that feeling. So, yes, there's a personal benefit. But, I can also honestly say that I genuinely like thinking that whoever I've just helped is now feeling better. So, I think it's a bit of both.
Funnily enough, knowing how lovely it feels to help others, I sometimes think one of the kindest things we can do is to let others help us sometimes. But pride can get in the way. Everyone wants to be the giver. But, there can be great humility in learning to graciously receive. I guess we have different seasons in our lives...

Well, I wrote my (critical theory) essay and have sent it to my prof. Thanks to those who replied kindly and yah boo sucks to the rest!

Ah, congratulations on getting your essay done. I always struggled with getting essays done on time! Usually a last-minute madness!
I hope you get the results you're hoping for. Best wishes 😊

Even though you have sent your essay I thought I would still post the following link as you and others might find it interesting.

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/altruism/

I’ve thought about the premise that a person is not truly being altruistic because they benefit from getting a good feeling from helping someone.

I think it really comes down to the person’s motivation for helping someone. Did they help that person because they wanted to feel good about themselves? If so then they were not being altruistic. Did they help that person simply because that person needed help? And they helped them for that person’s benefit and not for their own benefit? Then yes they were being altruistic. Any good feelings they have from helping are a byproduct rather than the motivation.