Why does my friend have to brag so much ?

[Allshallbewell2021]

We meet every three or four months and usually have a good time, she's very clever and funny. Last night - the whole evening was interspersed with statements about her, admittedly very impressive career achievements and personal brilliance.

I'm usually fine with it, genuinely, I think it's clearly an insecurity. And I also really admire her and see her as an inspiration. But at the moment my work situation makes this much harder for me.

I came home feeling really deflated. I think I'm going to have to increasingly avoid her until I'm in a better place. I just with she could stop waving her achievements around - we all know about them!

She sounds pretty crass. A good idea to avoid her while you feel a bit fragile. You can’t really address it with her.

It’s sad isn’t it when you go out and you don’t enjoy it because of someone’s behaviour (and you are nice)

pull back from her a bit is my advice and find solace in more genuine friendships

Thanks that's very helpful - I tend to think that I should be able to handle it because I know that she is a really good hearted person.

But I have to admit - I'm surprised at how low it made me feel and still today. And I need to be aware of how these things hit me these days.

Urgh, I've just dumped a friend like this. All she did was talk about herself and brag about stuff with the full intention of making me feel small. Combined with a total lack of empathy and zero compassion, even for animals, I'm now wondering if she had a personality disorder as she was so callous.

People like this are best avoided. Friends are supposed to cheer you up, not bring you down.

Surely that's more to do with you then her, though? Are you not happy with yourself and your own achievements?

Not at the moment which is why I think I felt the difference. I'm usually much more robust.

It's useful to know that we need to be a bit careful, if we can, who we see when we are fragile.

Is one or both of her parents uber-critical or cold? When I think of all my friends, the ones who behave like this either in RL or on SM (or both) brag and boast (over actually very mundane stuff) because it’s a way of getting people to validate their vampire-like need for praise and adoration. That validation soothes and fills a deep need in them that they didn’t get as children.

No consolation though, they’re fucking insufferable. Keep at an arms length or ditch is my advice. They never change.

I think her mother had very serious addiction problems shiv is more than enough to explain the extremity of her constant need to assert her dominance